Written by: Natalie Rotin, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
This week my therapist and I talked about Netflix and how hard it is to stop once you start (like when you can’t put down a bag of peanut M&M’s or a box of popcorn).
I mentioned how frustrated I am watching my new favourite show on free-to-air TV because it’s impossible to binge the entire season. I have to wait a whole week for the next episode. Like back in the good old days when I was young and free, and streaming was just the sound of water.
Free to air means I have to practice patience (which is not my forte). But it also means I’m watching these episodes mindfully.
I’m savouring the moments. I’m thinking about what I’m watching. I’m not picking up my phone half way through and mindlessly scrolling. And the best part; I don’t feel guilty afterwards. Because I’m setting the time aside to unwind and enjoy the limited time I have. I'm not getting lost in the minefield of never-ending episodes only to end up berating myself for not having spent more time getting through my to-do list.
My therapist referred to this as 'conscious mindful watching’ Who knew? We can be mindful in front of the TV!
While the world is slowing down and we’re learning how to live a more simple life, I’m also very aware of not crossing the line into ‘sloth’ or spiralling back into the black pit of depression.
I’m the kind of person that needs to stay productive, work towards goals, maintain habits in order to stay mentally healthy. Past experience has shown me that without these things, depression and anxiety can creep up out of nowhere.
‘So, where’s the fine line between taking time to rest and recoup versus spiralling down mentally?’, I asked my therapist.
‘Well, that line is different for everyone’, she replied. ‘You need to identify that line for yourself’.
I hung my head in despair. The part of me that wants to be given instant answers wasn't at all thrilled with her response.
She went onto to talk to me about ‘hypo’ versus ‘hyper’ state. In other words, fight or flight versus shutting down all together.
And this is when I realised - I need to be more mindful (pardon the pun) about how I plan my ‘rest and recoup’ time. Putting some thought into how I will unwind ahead of time. Not just dumping myself on the couch to watch TV as a way to numb the daily chaos.
But instead, allowing myself that time as a way to consciously unwind. To stop and take an interest in what I’m doing. Perhaps even enjoy it. ‘What other activities make you feel rested and clear-headed afterwards?’ she asked. And then the light bulb moment...
Sometimes it’s the stuff I don’t feel like doing to begin with, which makes me feel rested the most.
So, I began building my list:
Going for a walk
Creating and designing
Decluttering and cleaning (yep, I’m that kind of crazy)
Going to church
Watching a documentary
Sometimes the majority of these things don’t necessarily feel appealing to begin with. Sometimes I just want to zone out with a glass of red and some mind-numbing TV. But if I can first stop and think about what will leave me feeling most rested AND satisfied, I have the power to choose wisely.
Taking the time to write down my rest and relax (R&R) options is definitely helping me to be mindful about how I choose to relax. And I'm relaxing without the guilt.
If you're like me, and find yourself bouncing between staying motivated but needing some down time, I highly recommend you try the same. Create a list of the stuff that might not seem relaxing but does actually make you feel cool, calm and collected afterwards.
What are the things that clear your head space? The activities that help you unwind? Perhaps even still somewhat energised?
And finally, note to self/others: never discount discussing random topics in therapy. Even Netflix can lead to lifelong lessons!
Download your Mindful R&R Template
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Natalie Rotin, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Natalie is a leading speaker, writer and goal-setting extraordinaire. Her degree in Health Science and experience as a Behaviour Change Coach led to her current role as a mental health and continuous improvement expert in the Emergency Service sector. While by day she supports the wellbeing of frontline workers, by night she is a budding entrepreneur inspiring change and wholehearted living.
After many years of people pleasing and struggling with her identity as a single parent, Nat established Made for Greatness; a business that fosters community and connection while helping ambitious women to build resilience, set healthy boundaries and live an adventurous yet simple life.
Nat continues to inspire and empower others through her unique storytelling abilities and the creation of personal development tools and resources. She believes our circumstances don’t define us and that what we tend to see as failures have the potential to drive our success. Her mission: If we dare to be vulnerable, accepting that we are a work in progress, happiness and freedom can be found in the process of living, not just enjoyed as an end goal.
