Written by: Lai Tattis, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Whatever it is we give our lives to, when we are challenged to step outside our comfort zone, we can feel like giving up because we think it will amount to nothing, we may look stupid, or we'll fail, so what's the point? It's easier to stay in the cocoon with what's familiar, allowing our mind to limit what we think and do and not have to put energy and thought into seeing a new perspective and trying something different.
"Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game" –Babe Ruth
This behavior pattern only keeps us stagnant or, worse, regress and live with a lifetime of regret.
Suppose we understand fear is trapping us in our comfort zones, controlling us, separating us from others, keeping us from making decisions, and preventing us from venturing out to learn and experience new things. In that case, we can begin to connect to the discomfort and see it as an essential step for our progress and growth and that the idea of 'striking out' is part of life and only makes us better players in areas of business, career, finances, health, hobbies, spirituality, personal growth and deepening healthy relationships.
We're all on a journey playing the game of life with the opportunity to grow and learn through the pain of discomfort; that's why we attract people, places, and situations to improve and become better people. Fear is normal, and it is okay to feel it. Courage is not the absence of fear. It merely means doing it despite the fear. That could be taking that new job, building your side hustle, signing up for that class or activity, stepping on stage, making that commitment, and building a new concept of understanding and communicating to experience more healthy, harmonious, and loving relationships.
Don't Be Afraid to Be Afraid
Fear is one of the strongest, most powerful emotions you can feel. In some cases, it's vital for your safety to feel a healthy fear. It can propel you into survival mode, so you move and act quickly, without thinking, to protect yourself.
However, most of the daily fear is a perception often created from insecurities, past subconscious programming, overthinking, or the lack of knowledge.
When I work with clients, we dive deeper into exploring their unhealthy fears, and they start to recognize that it is an entity with a life of its own.
It's not uncommon for clients to personify their fears, giving them a name, a shape, or even an inner voice that speaks to them, taunts them, and can dictate their thoughts and emotions. They view their fears as abstract concepts or feelings they cannot control. This voice, and sometimes it’s the echo of someone else’s voice that is often responsible for creating selfdoubt, anxiety, depression, and a general sense of negativity, holding them back and being stuck in life. It's like an internal critic constantly undermining the person's confidence and self-esteem.
Identifying their fear allows them to externalize and view the concerns as separate from themselves. When they do this, it becomes easier to identify and understand the specific triggers that cause their fears to arise. This makes it easier for them to separate themselves from their fears and see them through a different lens held deep in their unconscious.
Through this process of understanding, they begin to recognize that their fears have a story and are not as powerful as they once believed. They realize that they can control their emotions and take action steps to overcome their fears. It is a powerful healing transformation that I am honoured to witness and guide my clients through.
If you allow it, fear can trap you in a mental cage and prevent you from venturing out to learn and experience new things. Once you fully understand that fear can be a mind trap, you can begin to connect to the feeling of discomfort it brings and eventually learn to embrace it and use it as fuel.
You'll start to recognize that fear has a purpose and is an essential step for your progress and growth, and you shouldn't be afraid to be afraid. It's nature's ultimate Stop Sign with a powerful message to pause, take a breath, and take a break to think creatively to make better decisions; at a higher level of thinking, it can guide us to adapt, adjust, and act differently with consciousness and focus.
As you grow stronger (and you will), you'll realize when we give energy to our fears, we pull away from our true selves. Our fears do not define us. You don't overcome fear; you must move through it until you get past it.
The journey from fear to freedom teaches us to become more self-aware and experience personal growth. We gradually let go of the limitations that once held us back and become more courageous. We begin to trust ourselves more and to trust the journey we're on. Only then can we appreciate the beauty of who we are as people and embrace ourselves fully, unapologetically, and authentically.
The Science of Fear: Understanding Its Purpose in Our Lives
Fear Can Motivate
Fear can be a powerful motivator, providing the drive and focus needed to accomplish goals. Whether it's fear of failure, fear of missing out, or fear of letting others down, it can push us to work smarter and achieve more. By leaning into your fears and using them as a source of motivation, you can channel your energy in a positive direction and move towards your goals.
Fear Can Fuel Learning and Growth
Fear is also necessary training for our soul, one of the primary ways that we learn and grow. By pushing beyond our comfort zones and taking risks into the unknown, we expose ourselves to the opportunity to heal from the past and have new challenges and experiences that can help us develop new skills, broaden our perspectives, and expand our horizons. Embracing fear means embracing the possibility of failure but also opening yourself up to new learning opportunities and personal growth.
Fear Can Build Resilience
How exactly does fear build resilience? It's all about the mindset we adopt when facing our fears. When we confront our fears head-on, we demonstrate a willingness to take risks and step outside our comfort zones. This type of behavior ultimately helps us build resilience, as it exposes us to uncertainty, discomfort, and even failure - all of which are essential components of a growth mindset.
Uncertainty is a concept that many people struggle with; it's the feeling of not knowing what the future holds, the fear of the unknown. Uncertainty can cause anxiety, stress, and even depression.
However, if we reframe our perspective on uncertainty and consider that all of the potentials that exist is in the uncertain space of our future, we can begin to embrace it and discover we can trust ourselves and go with the flow; we can make better decisions by better understanding uncertainty can be the key to unlocking our full potential. Think about a partner or friend before you met, they were once part of your unknown future.
Fear Can Strengthen Relationships
Finally, fear can be a powerful tool for building relationships and fostering intimacy. When we share our fears with others, we open ourselves up to vulnerability which breeds trust. Going through a tough situation or dealing with fear can be challenging, but when two people come together to face a challenge, it creates a deeper bond between them. Overcoming fear often allows both parties to build trust and transparency and can create an emotionally supportive, affectionate, and intimate relationship, which can go a long way in solidifying deeper connections, be they romantic or platonic.
This heightened awareness builds closeness and a deeper understanding of each other where you feel safe and secure creating meaningful, healthy relationships.
These are just some of my concepts on fear.
Now It's Your Turn
So my questions to you are: What are you willing to do to step up and take that swing over the fence regardless of your situation? What's the worst that could happen? You feel rejected (and rejection is typically the lack of self-esteem & confidence) or live with regret.
Here's the thing, there are bigger things out there to fear, like REGRETS, which don't happen to you; they happen because you made poor decisions and did something you shouldn't have or didn't take action to do something you should have.
So what's it going to be? Which conscious choice will you make? Live with the momentary fear and move through it?
Or do nothing and live with the regret, which can last forever? The world doesn’t respond to your thoughts, only your actions.
Life is a game that requires active participation, don't just sit on the sidelines – get in the game and play to win with these five strategies that can help you overcome your fears.
Let's play on shall we? Batter up!
Strategies to Help You Overcome Fear
1. Reframe the Fear: One great way to use a mindset approach to overcome fear is to reframe it. Instead of viewing it as something terrifying, think of it as a challenge or an opportunity for growth and learning. Allow fear to whisper, "it's okay; this is new; I know you're scared and you're trying to protect me, but by taking risks and facing new challenges, we can gain confidence, learn from our mistakes, and discover hidden talents and passions and experience so much more in life. It may be uncomfortable at first, but the rewards of stepping outside our comfort zone far outweigh the temporary discomfort.
2. Positive Self-Talk: It can be helpful to acknowledge that you may not have control over circumstances that cause the thoughts; however, remind yourself that thoughts can be thought, but you have the power to control how you respond to them. You have the dominion of internalizing them as a conscious choice and to choose wisely. Talk to yourself by saying I am strong, capable, and brave. I have the power to control my thoughts and feelings, and I choose to perceive fear as an opportunity for growth and learning. I trust in my abilities and am confident in my ability to overcome any challenge that comes my way. I am worthy of success, and I believe that I can accomplish anything I set my mind to. With determination and positivity, I can conquer my fears and achieve my goals. I am proud of the person I am becoming and will continue to work towards becoming the best version of myself every day. Practicing positive self-talk can help shift mindsets and build the confidence to take on any challenge.
3. Positive Visualization: Whenever you feel the grip of fear, it may be helpful to practice positive visualization. This involves closing your eyes and imagining yourself in a place or situation where you feel calm and relaxed. Imagine all the things that bring you joy and focus on positive, empowering thoughts as if you are experiencing them. I have a powerful grounding technique using the act of loving-kindness, which is a gentle way to connect to our mind and body, allowing us to approach ourselves and our experiences with more gentleness and understanding. As we practice this act of loving kindness, we cultivate a deeper self-awareness and self-love. Through this process, we become more grounded, present, and resilient in the face of uncertainty.
4. Seek Support: Sometimes, it can be hard to push through fear on your own. While friends and family can provide emotional support and a listening ear, consider seeking professional help for practical strategies and techniques to help you move forward. Many fears come from our early childhood experiences, past relationships, and trauma which can significantly impact our lives. If you are constantly being triggered please consider seeking professional help which is essential to address these fears, heal from the past and live a more meaningful and fulfilled life.
The Takeaway
Achieving your goals and dreams is not about eliminating fear. It's about leaning into the fear, learning how to face it, acknowledge it, and ultimately overcome it. Staying bound by fear is a choice. Moving forward despite fear…also a choice.
My final word is that life is a challenging game, full of twists and turns, highs and lows, and endless possibilities. It's a game that requires skill, patience, and determination. But here's the thing; it's a game worth playing.
Don't sit on the sidelines, waiting for the perfect moment. The game of life is waiting, and it's time to start playing. Embrace the challenges, rise to the occasion, and seize every opportunity that comes your way.
Imagine waking up every morning and feeling fulfilled and excited about the day ahead. Imagine having a career that you're excited about, running a business that brings in steady income to give you more freedom, exploring new places and trying new things that excite you, leaving a legacy for generations, or experiencing the kind of passionate, intimate connection with that special person that you truly love and cares just as deeply for you. You can have it all and win in life.
Don't let fear or doubt hold you back from achieving greatness. The power to create the life you've always dreamed of is within your reach; it's up to you to make the most of it.
So, take that first step toward the unknown. You might stumble along the way, but that's all part of the game.
Life is like a game of ball – sometimes we win, sometimes we lose, learn from your mistakes, pick yourself up, embrace the victories, and keep moving forward with no regret.
The game of life is waiting, and you are the player. Embrace the challenge and play on!"
If you want to learn how to master your fears to live a more meaningful fulfilled life and be coached by me, you can email me at contact@laitattis.com.au or visit www.laitattis.com
Lai Tattis, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Lai is a life coach and clinical hypnotherapist who helps people to heal from their past to change their future by growing from limitation to liberation using the amazing power of their own mind freeing them to live energised, confident and meaningful lives they’re excited about. Her approach is intuitive, transformational, and Spiritual. She draws on philosophies from NLP, Matrix Therapy, Modern & Traditional Hypnosis, Neuroscience & Psychotherapy. Lai speaks internationally, offers professional, personalised audio tracks, online courses, workshops and one-on-one sessions remotely all over the world in a safe and supportive space. She believes that magic happens when transformation occurs on the inside.
