Written by: Candace Tozer, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Playing the victim is the calling card of individuals who identify vehemently with their trauma story, with their pain, and with their experiences.
Whilst the experiences of trauma are undeniable, staying in the place of victimhood keeps you limited in your ability to expand beyond the trauma. Ultimately becoming the product of your circumstances, and this can often lead to a mentality that you are the way you are because of what has happened to you and there is no way of changing that.
Do you find yourself with labels? Where do they come from?
Many individuals have become so fixed on their label of being a survivor of some awful experience that they forget that outside of their story, they are a being of divine consciousness that is inherently whole, loved, and worthy.
Whilst the experience of trauma allowed them to expand and grow, if they allowed it to, does not define them. That is not their true identity.
How often do you find that you ask someone to define themselves and the first answers returned are labels of some kind, I am a CEO, I am a rape survivor, I am a student, I am a wife, etc.
How often do you ever find that someone would respond by saying I am a human being or a being of consciousness or a fractal of God, and in truth that is exactly what we all are.
On the flip side, it may not be that people label themselves with things of a negative nature, however the same can be said for those punting their positive attributes and labels, ultimately any time you find yourself labelling yourself, you are trying to sell your story as who you are, because inside of that story at the very root of it, there is some trauma of some kind.
Understanding the ego
The ego is the chatterbox brain, the linear mind thinker, it is the part of ourselves that we have not integrated, it disguises itself as limiting beliefs, programs, trauma, labels, and religious affiliations and ultimately its job is to keep us disconnected from the truth of who we are.
It does this by perpetually keeping us seeking externally, looking outside of us for all that we can find on the inside. Whether it is a need for validation, the love of a significant other, encouragement, praise, the next job promotion, or even the God that keeps us in check.
However, when we start to transcend all of the above, we disempower the ego to no longer rule us, when we integrate our wounds we rewire our belief systems, and undergo personal transformation of releasing that which no longer serves us, and empty out all of the distortions and lies, we create space to allow the universe to work with us. The natural byproduct of transcending our ego is a rise in consciousness or vibration which propels us from living in fear and anger into joy and love. It does not require you to do anything other than transcend your story.
Life happens for you not you, when you realize you can take control of your reality and start creating the reality you desire
How often do you find yourself asking why does life have to be so hard? Why does nothing ever work out for me? Why would God let this happen? The truth is the only person stopping you from allowing life to happen with you not to you, is YOU. You are responsible for it all as a creator being.
Where your mind goes your creation energy flows, so if you are stuck in an unworthiness wound, you are going to continually seek to have your worth validated outside of yourself, and when that doesn’t satiate you the spiral into depression starts to happen and ultimately you hit rock bottom, not to mention that when we have these limiting beliefs you will continually be met with situations that validate the wound to continue to keep you trapped. Like attracts like. Be the change you want to see in your life.
In this place, you are given a choice to look at your pain, feel it, and let it go or continue once again in the cycle of the ego of victimhood, and in this place, life truly feels like it’s happening to you, and you are an unwilling passenger on the crazy rollercoaster that is life.
So how do we transcend victimhood so trauma can become our superpower?
When you choose to face the aspects of yourself that define your story, you start to recognize that you have participated in giving the story your power, when you transcend the story, the trauma, the wounds, and the pain through feeling it, being with it and witnessing it as an experience rather than a part of you, you start to pull your power back from a loop that doesn’t serve you.
When you do this, you move from being powerless to powerful and in doing so you change your trauma into a superpower.
Not only are you now able to show others that healing is possible, but you have also created space where trauma and density once dwelled to allow light in, power in, your connection to divinity in, and that is your superpower.
Candace Tozer, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Candace Tozer is a uniquely gifted soul aligned quantum life coach, her passion lies in seeing her clients thrive not just survive, moving them out of the mindset and embodiment of limitation into the realm of possibility. Candace’s coaching focuses on teaching her clients to embody spirituality at the mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual level, ensuring an all-encompassing experience and a holistically sustainable way of being in everyday life. Candace shares the tools needed to reconnect and establish a deeper connection to one’s true self. Session areas of focus on cultivating a connection to presence, meditation, breathwork, nervous system regulation, detox and the art of alchemy.
