Written by: Dr. Belynder Walia, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
So, you're a fabulous transgender individual, living your best life and striving to be your most authentic self. You've made strides in transitioning and embracing your gender identity. And now you want surgery to confirm your gender identity. But, sadly, surgery is not in the cards for you. A financial issue, medical barrier, or other pesky obstacle stops you from your surgical dreams. Whatever the reason, you're feeling a little disheartened about it.
It's okay not to feel okay. Rest assured! There are ways to manage these feelings healthily.
First things first ‒ it's essential to acknowledge and accept your emotions. It's okay to feel disappointed, frustrated, or even slightly sad. You're human, after all! So please take a moment to sit with your feelings and process them so that you are self-aware and self-accepting. It's important to feel your emotions. Maybe that means having a good cry, talking it out with a friend, or indulging in much-needed self-care.
Speaking of self-care, that's an essential part of coping with the inability to access surgery. Take care of yourself both physically and emotionally. Get enough sleep, eat well, exercise regularly, and engage in activities that make you feel good. And, of course, treat yourself to a bit of indulgence now and then. You deserve it! Maybe you could take yourself out for a nice meal, spoil yourself with a luxurious bubble bath or try a new look or outfit that makes you feel great.
Connecting with others who understand your experiences is also a great way to cope. Seek support from friends, family, or members of the LGBTQ+ community. They can offer you empathy, understanding, and a listening ear. And who knows, they might even have some great tips or insights to share! Joining a local LGBTQ+ support group or an online forum can be a great way to connect with others who share your experiences and offer support and encouragement.
Finally, remember that other ways exist to affirm your gender identity beyond surgery. Maybe it means exploring new ways to express yourself, building a solid support network, or finding joy and fulfilment in new hobbies or interests. For example, you could try experimenting with new hairstyles or clothing, taking up something new or learning a new skill or language. The possibilities are endless!
It's important to remember that you are not alone in this journey. Many transgender individuals face barriers in accessing surgical procedures, and it's essential to find ways to cope and thrive despite these challenges. Take heart ‒ you are strong, fabulous, and deserving of love and acceptance. That, my friend, has to come from within you first. By acknowledging your emotions, practising self-care, connecting with others, and finding alternative ways to affirm your gender identity, you can manage the psychological impact of being unable to access the surgical procedure you desire. Remember, surgery may be a part of what's meant to happen for you, but it's not the only way to affirm your gender identity. You can continue your journey towards your most authentic self. And know that therapists like myself are more than willing to help you get through the days you need reminding. All you need to know for now is that you are enough, just as you are. Be true to yourself and enjoy every moment of your life being you.
Dr. Belynder Walia, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Belynder Walia is a leading Psychotherapist who helps people who need a swift, effective solution to a current problem that negatively impacts their lives. She's worked with a wide variety of people, from stay-at-home carers to experts and celebrities in the public eye. Having suffered from Perinatal Anxiety, she focuses on enabling others to learn, heal and grow from pain. Belynder is the founder of Serene Lifestyles, an online and on-set psychotherapy practice at www.serenelifestyles.com. Her ground-breaking methods include a combination of Psychotherapy and Neuroplasticity to help align the THREE Brains (the head, heart, and gut). She's in many publications, including Forbes, Cosmopolitan, Harpers Bazaar, The Moment, Planet Mindful, and Thrive Global. She’s featured on the front cover of Passion Vista as one of the women to look up to 2022. Belynder is also writing her first non-fiction book, to help people radically change their minds to change their lives.
