Written by: Alaina Schwartz, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
How often do you describe what you want by talking about what you don’t want? When most people are asked what they want, they will usually answer in a way that describes what they don’t want and think they’re being clear about what they want. What we don’t want is helpful to become more aware of what we do want, but that’s where its helpfulness ends.
I just started working with a new client. They have no problem creating multiple 6-figure quarters in their business, but all the money seems to go out the door faster than they create it. They are drowning in lawsuits, veterinarian bills, doctor bills, house or car repairs, etc. It always seems to be one thing after the other (their words!).
It doesn’t take me very long to have a conversation with someone to understand their limiting beliefs and paradigm. On our consultation call, this is how they responded when asked what they want:
I want money to stop flying out the door
I have too many things going on in my head and am plagued by shame and negative thinking
I want to stop fighting with my spouse
I want to stop working 10 hours a day, 7 days a week.
I want everything to stop feeling so hard
I want to lose 25 lbs and stop eating unhealthy foods
Are you focused on the problem or the solution?
You may have heard of the phrase Negativity Bias. It’s the tendency to focus and register negative stimuli more readily and dwell on those events. For example, a person could have 10 positive things happening in their life and have one negative event or circumstance, and yet they focus on the one negative situation and have little thought about all the good that’s occurring in the rest of their life.
Negativity bias means that we look for or pay more attention to negative events than positive ones. Your Reticular Activating System, the part of your brain that filters out stimuli and only filters in what your subconscious mind thinks is important, is set to search out negative information, experiences and situations.
Negativity Bias is believed to be a holdover from our caveman days. After all, at that time being more attentive to danger and bad things kept people alive. It’s then been passed down from generation to generation through our genes. Even though we are no longer being chased by saber tooth tigers, we still have retained this evolutionary perspective.
In addition, neuroscientific evidence has shown that negative stimuli elicit a larger brain response than positive ones. And the hormones of stress released after a negative event linger longer in our bodies than the hormones of a positive event. That means it takes conscious awareness to shift from a focus on negative things to positive ones. And this is exactly what’s required to be able to create the kind of life and career/business you want.
Most people think they’re focused on what they want, on the solution, but they’re really focused on the absence of it, on the problem. The having of what you want and absence of it are on opposite sides of the same stick.
And…You get what you focus on. So if you’re focused on the problem or the lack of what you want, you experience more problems and lack. The Universe, God, Spirit, the Divine, Life, whatever you want to call this infinite intelligence, is deductive in nature. That means it has no choice but to energize what you’re focused on. To do anything else would be to remove your free will. And we’ve all been given free will. In fact, our ability to consciously choose is one of our greatest gifts and what sets us apart from all other animals that we know of on this planet.
So how do you shift from focusing on the absence of what you want to focusing on what you want? Clarity, specificity, and consistency and repetition.
1. The first step to manifesting what you desire is to get really clear on what you want and frame it in the positive, present tense.
Here are the desires my client mentioned above reframed in the positive, present tense.
I earn consistent $100k months and retain 70% of that income
I feel a deep sense of self-belief and confidence and my thoughts are positive, uplifting
My spouse and are on the same page and communicate in a healthy, loving way
I work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week and have ample time to do what I love with the people I love
I feel ease and grace while running my business and in my life.
I am at my ideal weight of 185lbs and eat healthy, nourishing food.
2. When people are working to manifest, they often lack specificity in what they desire. If you were to walk into a restaurant and tell the wait staff that you’re hungry and to bring you some food, what do you think the chances are of you getting what you want to eat? Placing orders with the Universe is no different. If you tell the Universe that your goal is to make more money, if you receive $25 more, you’ve made more money.
As I was explaining this to another client, he laughed and told me that he had been working on manifesting a check arriving in the mail for him. Within a week, a check did arrive in the mail, but it was for $14. He was thinking of a number with many more zeros. And this demonstrates the point perfectly as he did not have specificity when he focused his intention and attention on receiving the check.
3. Consistency and repetition are key elements to manifestation. Consistency of thought and action. As mentioned earlier, most people are focused on the absence of what they want. Using money again as the example, every time your mind starts to focus on its absence, on not being able to afford ___, on feeling like there isn’t enough, consistently and repeatedly move your attention to what you do want instead.
After a while of consistently and repeatedly shifting your focus to what you want, your subconscious mind will surrender to the new thoughts, especially if you add the emotion of gratitude for already having received it. You have to train your subconscious mind like you would train a dog. Keep moving your attention to what you want and eventually it will behave and sit.
Getting clear on what you want, reframing and elevating your thoughts of what you desire to the positive, present tense, gaining specificity and then focusing your energy on it consistently and repeatedly, will help you move in the direction of your 2022 goals.
Focus only on what you want. Anytime you become aware of thinking thoughts about what you don’t want, refocus your attention on your new reframes. You will retrain your mind to be able to hold the image of what you desire. And the longer you hold that image in your mind, the faster you will manifest it in your lived experience.
Wishing you much success in 2022!
If you’d like to take a quantum leap in your income with lightning speed, while shaving 10-30 hours off of your workweek, so you can live the bigger purpose and lifestyle you started your business for, reach out to me here, and let’s chat!
For more info, I invite you to connect with me here on LinkedIn or visit Alaina Schwartz and follow Alaina on Facebook and Instagram.
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Alaina Schwartz, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Alaina Schwartz is the Founder & CEO of Alaina Schwartz Enterprises. She’s a speaker, best-selling author, and Intuitive Mindset Mentor. At 14, Alaina suffered a traumatic brain injury, and her mother was told she’d have permanent brain damage. Her mother retrained Alaina’s brain for a full recovery. Then, after 18 years as an attorney in the music industry and the EVP and Exec Board Member of the largest independent music company globally, she walked away from it all to discover her purpose. Her personal life completely unraveled. She became hyper-focused on building her life purpose and rewiring her brain again for success and fulfillment. She has created a multiple six-figure company and a beautiful life since. As an Intuitive Mindset Coach/Mentor, she uses those experiences and her training as the foundation of her work with entrepreneurs, helping them break through upper limits and clear the blocks that are preventing them from creating 7+ figure businesses with ease. Alaina’s mission is to help people remember who they truly are so they can live their purpose and full potential.
