Written by: Dr. Gigi Arnaud, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
This is a subject I would have like to have learned about years, even decades ago. I know anxiety spirals personally, having had anxiety with me for most of my life, where I got trapped in negative thought patterns, which created awful downward spirals that were just about impossible to escape.
I often looked for distractions and you may be doing the same: ie: overeating, too much social media, over-binging on Netflix, Prime and the like (particularly during Covid, which has increased anxiety levels in our society), or just sitting and worrying about events that may or may not happen and that may not even be a part of reality.
It's good to know and remember that approximately 95% of the things we worry about (in our minds) don’t actually happen. This is why it’s so helpful to stay in the present moment.
I finally learned that there are ways to change these scenes, loops and spirals taking place in my mind. If your life is a movie and you’re the star, then you have to find ways to take charge of your big role. Here’s some of what I learned:
1. Be your OBJECTIVE OBSERVER:
Say to yourself: stop, stop, STOP, when your negative thoughts begin, each time with increasing emotion, urgency and energy. This way your mind will pay attention to the signals from your body, too and will start listening (and eventually change the neural pathways in your brain).
Now, it’s time to STEP BACK and OBSERVE these thoughts. Look at them, as if they come from someone else, and determine whether these thoughts have any merit for you, and if they are realistic or not.
Remember that you are NOT your thoughts; your thoughts don’t define you and most of them are not true anyway! Your mind made them up...
2. Tune into your BODY and get out of your head:
Anxiety stays trapped in our bodies, as well as in our minds. Many of us with anxiety can feel unsafe, insecure and unsettled, so tuning into your body first helps you feel safe, so that you can start asking yourself some questions (below).
Here are some helpful ways to CALM YOUR BODY:
deep breathing:ie:4,7,8 technique; vagus nerve breathing, etc. (Please contact me @www.gigiarnaud.com or @drgigiarnaud @Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, to get more details about these techniques ‒ they’re great!)
place your right hand under your left armpit (nearest to your heart) and place your left hand around your right upper arm, so that you are ‘hugging’ yourself. This lets your body know that it has boundaries and that you’re safe (from Dr Peter Levine)
shake out or move your body: this shakes out the anxiety that is trapped in your body
hypnosis, meditation, mindfulness
and more…
3. Once your body is calmer and more centered, your rational mind is able to take over and you can ask yourself some questions:
Are these negative thoughts true? Can I be sure they’re true? How do I feel, in my body, mind and spirit, if they’re true? How do I feel when they’re not true?
The signals and sensations you feel in your body will let you know if they’re really true. If you feel neutral or at peace, the feelings are often true. If you’re agitated or tense, they may not be true. Learn to tune into your body first.
Now, it’s time to...
4. ACCEPT your thoughts:
Many of us want to get rid of our unhelpful, uncomfortable and negative thoughts but they are a part of us and we can’t run away or avoid them. The truth is when you do, they come back with more force and energy (not a fun thing).
You want to develop your own particular process of accepting and working through your thoughts and emotions… of all kinds.
5. Determine your TRIGGERS:
When your body and nervous system are calmer, allowing your rational mind to take over, you’re ready to figure out your triggers.
There is an anxiety loop or spiral of TRIGGER to BEHAVIOR (anxiety) to REWARD.
So, first you want to figure out your triggers. They can be people, places, events similar to past traumatic events, trauma (conscious or subconscious), scents, etc. If you have an understanding of what, who or when you get triggered, you can become consciously aware to get through this whole process in a healthier way.
The third part of the loop may be harder to understand. Let’s say you see a work colleague who triggers you and your behavior is anxiety. This anxiety, whether you know it consciously or not, gives you some sort of reward (ie: physical sensation of excitement, or allowing yourself to eat that ice cream in the break room, etc.) These rewards are usually ‘comforting’ to your nervous system, which just wants to stay safe (which means familiar). If your nervous system is used to excitement, chaos (from your childhood years), then excitement is a reward for you, though you may know, intellectually, that it’s not so good. Have self-compassion and forgive yourself; you were trying to survive and doing the best you could. Now, when you know differently, you can do differently.
So, you want to change your REWARDS: ie: instead of running towards that ice cream in the break room, you take a walk in nature (during your lunchtime or after your workday), or buy yourself some colorful flowers, etc. What you’re doing here is changing what your nervous system considers ‘comforting.’ You’re REPROGRAMMING the REWARD for a different emotional experience (ie: instead of negative excitement, you feel joy, fun, being in the present moment).
6. What new BEHAVIOR do you want to create?
Now, you can consciously ask yourself, “How can I create this new behavior I want to have?” So, let’s say you want to start taking daily walks in nature, either during or after work (instead of eating ice cream). These walks calm you, give you the feelings of joy, and a bigger and more beautiful perspective on life.
So, say that same work colleague is your ‘trigger,’ instead of going to the break room for the ice cream, you go outside for a walk (or if you can’t, then for a walk around the office, building, home, whatever…). In this way, the anxiety LOOP or spiral will change. Now, you have the trigger to your new behavior (walk) to give you a new reward: the feelings of joy, beauty, perspective and peace.
7. Create your new Habit:
Give yourself at least 60-90 days to consciously create space for yourself and notice and go back to this NEW loop: trigger to new behavior to new reward (ie: joy)…
Your brain gets rewired (change of your neural pathways) and forms this new, healthier and happier habit loop. So, you go from a default or automatic ‘anxiety loop’ to your new and improved ‘habit loop’. Yay!
SUMMARY:
Now, you have the knowledge of how this loop and process work; this is the first step.
Then, you become consciously aware of it and stop, calm your nervous system (body), which calms your mind and allows your rational mind to come to the fore.
You figure out what, when, who, where triggers you.
You change the behavior, which then changes the reward.
Et voila; you’re creating new thought patterns and loops that are more in alignment with who you really are!
You’re breaking the anxiety loops and creating new habit loops.
This is Mindset & Self-Mastery Change in positive action! Congratulations to you!
With smiles and love,
Dr. Gigi
You can reach me @www.gigiarnaud.com or DM me @drgigiarnaud: Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn. Change your Thoughts (Mind) to Change your Life! Read more from Dr. Gigi!
Dr. Gigi Arnaud, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Dr. Gigi Arnaud is an award-winning, NYC-based Mindset Coach, Hypnotherapist, and Speaker. For over thirty years, she worked as a dentist in her own private practice and, 17 years ago, also decided to become a certified life coach and hypnotherapist. For so many years, she had been that smiling person who looked sunny and successful on the outside yet was quietly suffering on the inside. Through her own discovery and years of training and treatment (i.e., coaching, therapy, and more), she did the work to change from the inside out and unlock the traps inside her mind. Now, she helps others do the same and change their negative and unhelpful thought patterns to those more aligned with who they authentically are, what they truly want, and how to get there (actions). She uses her unique ‘art and science’ background, intuition, and practical tools to help her clients hear their own unique voices so that they finally flourish in their personal and professional lives. Her mission is to transform your thinking to transform your life, become the real you, and thrive!
