Written by: Katie Stoddart, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Let’s face it: self-discipline has a bad reputation. When you think about self-discipline, the first words that come to your mind are probably: force and willpower. Mostly you know that self-discipline is a virtue but often feel guilty because you lack the self-discipline you wished you had. In essence, you view self-discipline as the problem (when it is lack of self-discipline the real issue), and in fact, self-discipline is the solution!
Let's break it down into a few key points: why discipline matters, the main obstacles to self-discipline, and how you can develop inner self-discipline.
1. Why does discipline matter?
That's how self-discipline gets a bad reputation because we so often think & feel guilty about our lack of self-discipline. Yet, let’s take a moment to consider what self-discipline is all about. According to the reference book on the subject: Mindful Self Discipline by Giovanni Dienstmann, self-discipline is your ability to live & be aligned with your higher goals and values.
Having strong self-discipline enables greater focus, self-control, determination, growth, grit, and even optimism. Thanks to all these skills, you will have happier relationships, health & longevity, wealth, and business growth (amongst others). This comes from the fact that to achieve anything in life, you need to take consistent action. To be action-oriented & proactive, you need discipline. And there is a reason why the first habit of highly effective people is: Be Proactive. Because once you have mastered that habit of consistent action, everything becomes easier. In other words, once you have greater discipline, other habits & skills are easier to develop.
If you’ve ever woken up on a cold winter’s morning and gone for a run or started an intense HIT workout while still feeling sleepy, cold, and tired, then you know exactly what I’m talking about: proactivity requires discipline.
Though self-discipline is often perceived as external (habits, goals, etc.), it has both external & internal aspects. From an external perspective, self-discipline is the power that facilitates achieving your goals, building healthy habits, quitting bad habits & addictions, and overall organizing your life. From an internal perspective, it is the ability to harmonize your thoughts and emotions. For instance, mastering your emotions requires discipline.
So, we know that self-discipline rocks! Self-discipline can give you that extra motivation you’re longing for. It’s the panacea of a happy life or a life of fulfilment & intention – then if it’s so great, why do we all struggle with it? There are a few main obstacles that get in the way.
2. The main obstacles to self-discipline
Some of the main obstacles to self-discipline are:
Distractions: In today’s fast-paced world, you are used to constant quick dopamine, easy wins that make you feel satisfied in the moment, but in the long term make you feel low & dissatisfied. By getting used to this fast dopamine, you easily become bored or distracted when you need to be more disciplined. To shift this, you need to re-create new habits around your use of technology. Once you change your relationship with technology, it becomes a lot easier to develop self-discipline.
Procrastination: This is a key obstacle to greater self-discipline. Procrastination comes from a reluctance to act due to certain emotions – maybe boredom, anxiety, worry, or fear… Procrastination is a vicious circle because the more you procrastinate, the harder it is to tackle that specific task or project. Self-discipline is the solution to breaking this cycle. The most efficient way is to start small. As you begin with small steps, your confidence will grow, and you will reduce/stop procrastinating.
Doubts: Many of us doubt ourselves, our goals, and our journey. These doubts can cause us to procrastinate, avoid acting, and hide under the bed hoping that they will pass. The bad news is that hiding under the bed won’t make your doubts go away. The good news is that once you come out and start to take steps forward, nothing scary will happen. ‘We suffer more in imagination than in reality.” as Seneca rightly observed. Once we learn to confront our doubts, we realize that our thoughts & fears were far greater than the actual results.
These are three examples of obstacles. The main idea is always to first become aware of the obstacle: notice if you are procrastinating or having doubts. Once you are aware of this, you can then confront it: understand where it is coming from (often linked to fear or self-esteem) and then address these key topics through talking with a therapist/coach or journaling.
3. Skyrocket your self-discipline
One of the reasons I feel so passionately about self-discipline is because it is tied to two of my core topics: focus & self-leadership.
To be able to lead yourself by mastering your thoughts, emotions and actions, self-discipline is a key pillar to get you there. Without that discipline, there is no self-leadership. We could almost use those two words as synonyms given how related they are.
Focus comes from mastering internal & external distractions, and once you are more focused, you can lead a more intentional & purposeful life. And yes, you’ve guessed it, discipline also trains your focus!
What habits and methods can you use to boost your self-discipline?
Meditation: There is a lot to be said for meditation. Not only does the habit of meditation increase emotional mastery, reduce stress and improve focus; it also improves your awareness (thoughts, emotions, actions). Through this awareness, it becomes easier to take aligned action: you start to notice what is blocking on you and how you can move forward.
Connect with your purpose: We all have moments of doubt & decrease in motivation. Having a clear purpose & why is sometimes the only thing you need to refuel your motivation. Reflecting on your purpose, mission and vision is fundamental to supporting your self-discipline over time.
Master your physical energy: Physical energy & mental energy are directly correlated. On the one hand, you need that mental energy and discipline to build healthy physical habits (such as sleep, nutrition & exercise). On the other hand, once you have great physical energy, you are well rested, eat healthily, and exercise regularly, it becomes a lot easier to be disciplined. It’s a virtuous circle.
Commit to never zero: Once you have committed to never have zero days, and at least do the minimum – this enables you to build your discipline. For instance, if you want to meditate daily, have a minimum time (it can even be 5 minutes, to begin with) that you stick to daily.
Celebrate small wins: Too often, we are overly ambitious. This is a recipe for disaster. If you haven’t exercised in years and you suddenly decide to exercise every day for two hours, you are making it a lot harder for you to succeed. Starting small, building confidence, stamina & momentum is a much more efficient and sustainable way to grow.
Track your progress: Depending on what motivates you, tracking can be a great way to keep engaged with your habits & goals. I know that this helped me to stay on track with my meditation habit using the app Insight Timer, where I can see the record of daily meditations.
Practise self-acceptance: The concept of self-discipline is not to beat yourself up every time you fail. On the contrary, it’s to accept where you are right now, and build from there so that you can be more and more aligned with your aspirations and values.
4. Last thoughts
Hopefully, this article has shifted your perception of self-discipline and provided you with some tools to start building your self-discipline daily.
The aim is not perfection, the aim is to constantly improve and be aligned with your aspirations & values. ‘A disciplined life is a good life’ as Giovanni Dienstmann says, and I often think about this. Because it is so true. Once you develop the ability to consistently take action towards your goals and be aligned with matters to you – it feels great! Wishing you great success in your journey!
Note: A great part of this article is based on the book Mindful Self-Discipline by Giovanni Dienstmann. I have the privilege to be the main facilitator for Mindful Self-Discipline workshops and I am passionate about sharing the importance of self-discipline and the tools to enable a more fulfilled life. For more information, please contact me directly or Giovanni Dienstmann.
For more info, follow me on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Twitter and visit my website! Read more from Katie!
Katie Stoddart, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Katie Stoddart, founder of ‘The Focus Bee’ is an award-winning, international, high-performance coach, speaker and podcast host. Katie supports leaders and business owners to reach & sustain peak performance in their business.
For her weekly podcast ‘The Focus Bee Show’, Katie interviews leading experts in high performance. Passionate about living intentionally; Katie challenges each and every person she works with to re-focus on what matters most. Katie works primarily with entrepreneurs & executives through 1-1 coaching & workshops on: Focus, Leadership & Performance.
