Written by: Carolyn Wellington, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Time to step out of the shadows
Have there been times when you were about to do something or think about doing something, suddenly that little voice inside your head starts to speak up, saying, ‘Hey, what do you think you’re doing?’ Your dreams are unrealistic, and you will never achieve anything. You’re not confident enough. You’re not as good as them. That negative voice inside your head, running your life, holding you back, and clipping at your wings.
How are you supposed to prioritize yourself, move forward in life, achieve your goals and create the life you deserve when this inner negative voice keeps speaking up when you are just about to take that step forward. Oh, my goodness, it’s taken days, weeks, months, or years for you to take that step but stop here comes the voice of disbelief, again. Every time you think you’ve got this, the words of destruction start to speak. Meet your inner critic, your inner saboteur! The negative voice inside your head will criticize and degrade you.
What Triggers This Voice Of Negativity?
It’s not your fault that you have come to be like this. Other people’s beliefs, the past, relationships, parents, grandparents, partners, school, college, work have played a huge part.
People’s thoughts and attitudes become embedded within your brain. These can have a damaging effect on you, which in time can undermine your every accomplishment. Your inner critic plays a significant role in how you see yourself and your self-esteem.
When you don’t know how to deal with your inner critic, it can leave you feeling ashamed, worthless, or low in mood. If you allow your inner critic to control too many of your actions, it can hold you back from personal and professional growth, connection, and your full potential.
Even though the way we think influences how we behave, those thoughts are not always true!
We All Have Two Inner Voices:
A confident voice that lifts us, encouraging us to step out of our comfort zone.
A negative voice that constantly pulls us down, sabotaging our every thought, stopping us in our tracks.
Now is the time for self-destruction to end and take back the reigns of your life.
Follow These Few Tips And Tricks To Help Reclaim Your Life and Remove The Saboteur Within:
1. Acknowledge Your Thoughts
When negative thoughts show up, acknowledge them. Try to understand where they are coming from and what has triggered them.
Why am I feeling this way?
What has triggered this thought?
Is there a pattern to these thoughts?
How do these thoughts affect my everyday behavior?
How do these thoughts affect my mood and relationship with others?
2. Separate Facts from Feelings
Your self-saboteur may be telling you that you are a terrible person or that everything is your fault, but is that true, is it a fact? Try to separate facts from feelings.
Is there a more positive way to look at the situation?
Step outside of the confusion; look from outside your walls of pain
3. What advice would you give to a friend?
If a friend came to you with the same problem, what advice would you give to them? How many times have you helped a friend out and then said to yourself, why can’t I do this for myself? Well, you can, so start today. Step away from the situation, look at it as if it was a friend. What would you say?
4. Practice Positive Affirmations
Replace negative thoughts with positive statements. Have a selection of motivating, healing, and encouraging phrases. Pick one and repeat it to yourself. Positive affirmations can help to combat self-sabotaging thoughts and patterns.
5. Distract Yourself From The Negativity
Replaying the same negative thoughts can be soul-destroying and does not resolve the issue. If you find yourself going over the problem time and time again, distract yourself. Take yourself away from the damaging thoughts. For example:
Read a good book
Listen to a motivating, encouraging podcast or YouTube video
Play a game
Go for a nice refreshing walk
Exercise
Meet with a trusted friend for a chat and a coffee
6. Focus On Your Strengths
When self-sabotage takes over, we forget about all the good times and upbeat times. So, when this happens, grab a notebook, and challenge your inner critic:
Write down all the things you know you are good at and have achieved.
Make a note of the times in your life that people have said encouraging and positive things about you.
7. Start A Journal
A great way to start challenging your inner critic and self-saboteur is by writing a journal. Some of the great benefits of a journal are:
It keeps your thoughts organized
Helping to shift from a negative mindset to a more positive one
Journaling can help identify and manage emotions
Help manage stress by writing problems down, allowing you to think things through.
Giving you a focus, a goal, a purpose.
People journal differently. One of the main factors is that it is helpful to you and something you look forward to doing. There are so many journals on the market, so find one that feels right for you, as this will become part of your daily life. Journaling is not just about taking time out to write it is about setting goals, your journey to becoming a better you in all aspects of your health and wellbeing.
8. Remind Yourself That You Are Not Alone
We all have an inner critic and experience self-doubt at some point in our lives. Remind yourself that your inner critic does not have to control your life. Use the tips above to help silence your self-saboteur, so you can work on becoming the best version of yourself. The person you know you can be and deserve to be—time to bid farewell to your inner critic and say hello to the new confident you.
Today is the day to start focusing on what you can do, not on what you can’t do. I know you’ve got this!
Carolyn Wellington, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Carolyn Wellington offers a wealth of experience in health, wellbeing, lifestyle, and sports therapy, successfully working with entrepreneurs, elite world-class athletes, television, stage, and theatre, plus achieving her own personal goals of being ranked 7th in Britain as a bodybuilder, becoming a multi health and wellness award winner and establishing herself as health and wellness writer. After training as a nurse, she realized she had a real passion for sport and helping others. She had grown up in a family environment of fitness, exercise, and positive thinking and knew that to achieve anything, you had to work hard, commit and be consistent. Her road has not always been easy, and she has faced many challenges, losing her sister at a young age, divorce, becoming a single parent, and many more. Her positive mindset and determination have proven to serve her well. She has become a highly sought-after coach, supporting others as they transition to become the best version of themselves. Her clients stretch from the UK, USA, and globally. Her mission states that "Positive thinking, positive actions equal achievements."
At the age of 61, Carolyn is a great role model for what she stands for and promotes.
