Written by Byron Hopkins, Growth + Transformation Coach
Byron Hopkins is a certified Growth and Transformation Coach specializing in emotional intelligence and personal development. A decorated Marine turned motivational speaker, Byron uses his "Ascension Method" to help individuals Recognize, Reframe, and Release their emotional burdens to thrive.
Have you ever found yourself hesitating, procrastinating, or walking away from opportunities that could change your life? Self sabotage is not just about bad habits. It is often driven by fear, imposter syndrome, or limiting beliefs that keep you stuck in your comfort zone. The good news is that self sabotage is a pattern, and patterns can be broken. By recognizing your triggers, reframing limiting thoughts, and taking intentional action, you can move past the barriers holding you back and step into your full potential. Are you ready to stop getting in your own way and create the success you deserve?
Why do we get in our own way?
Have you ever had an opportunity in front of you that could elevate your life, career, or relationships, only to find yourself hesitating, procrastinating, or even walking away from it altogether? That is self-sabotage at work. It is not just about bad habits or a lack of willpower; it is often a more profound, subconscious response rooted in fear, imposter syndrome, or limiting beliefs.
The good news is that self-sabotage is not a life sentence. It is a pattern, and patterns can be broken. Recognizing and understanding your self-sabotaging behaviors empowers you to take control and make positive changes in your life.
What is self-sabotage?
Self-sabotage is any behavior, thought pattern, or habit that actively works against your success or happiness. That inner voice whispers, “What if you fail?” or “You’re not ready yet.” It is the hesitation to take action, the overanalysis that leads to paralysis, or the habit of retreating when things get challenging. It is also disguised as perfectionism, overcommitting, procrastination, and even staying in toxic situations because they feel familiar.
At its core, self-sabotage is a form of self-protection. Our brains are wired to seek safety, even if that means staying stuck. The problem is that growth happens outside our comfort zones, and self-sabotage keeps us locked inside.
The hidden triggers behind self-sabotage
To overcome self-sabotage, we must first recognize what is causing it. Understanding the common triggers, such as fear of failure, fear of success, imposter syndrome, perfectionism, and comfort zones, can bring a sense of relief and reduce the burden of self-sabotage.
Fear of failure: The thought of failing can be so overwhelming that we may not even try.
Fear of success: Success brings responsibility and the possibility of losing what we’ve gained.
Imposter syndrome: That nagging doubt that we’re not good enough despite evidence to the contrary.
Perfectionism: The belief that if it’s not perfect, it’s not worth doing.
Comfort zones: Familiarity feels safe, even when it’s holding us back.
Breaking the cycle with the ascension method™
Overcoming self-sabotage is not about sheer willpower. It is about shifting your mindset. That is where my coaching tool, the Ascension Method™, Recognize, Reframe, Release, comes into play.
Recognize – Identify your self-sabotaging behaviors and the triggers behind them. Ask yourself, “Where in my life am I holding myself back?” and “What am I afraid will happen if I succeed?”
Reframe – Challenge the beliefs fueling your sabotage. Replace “I’m not ready” with “Every expert was once a beginner.” Swap “What if I fail?” for “What if I succeed beyond my wildest dreams?”
Release – Take action despite the fear. Release what you think is holding you back. Progress is not about perfection. It is about momentum. Celebrate small wins and build confidence through action.
Practical steps to stop self-sabotage today
Start before you feel ready: You will never feel 100% prepared, but the key is to start anyway.
Set micro goals: Break big goals into smaller, manageable steps to reduce overwhelm.
Challenge negative thoughts: When self-doubt creeps in, ask, “Is this thought serving me?” Challenging these thoughts can liberate you from the shackles of self-sabotage and set you free to pursue your goals.
Surround yourself with growth-oriented people: Environment matters. Be around those who push you forward, not pull you back.
Create a “why” statement: When fear kicks in, remind yourself why you started in the first place.
The path forward
Self-sabotage is not a character flaw. It is a learned behavior that can be unlearned. The moment you become aware of how you are holding yourself back, you gain the power to change.
The question is, are you ready to get out of your own way and step into your full potential?
Read more from Byron Hopkins
Byron Hopkins, Growth + Transformation Coach
Byron Hopkins is an Emotional Intelligence Practitioner and Growth Coach dedicated to helping individuals unlock their full potential. A Marine Corps veteran, his unique approach draws on personal resilience, focusing on overcoming limiting beliefs through his "Ascension Method." He founded the Growth Seekers Academy and is a certified NLP and EQ practitioner. Byron's mission is to empower individuals to release emotional burdens, build authentic confidence, and align their actions with their core values for lasting success.
