Written by: Cassandra Wiley, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
This is different from my three previous articles, but it is an important topic to discuss. When most people think of abuse, they think of physical abuse. They see black eyes, bruises, and maybe even broken bones. Psychological abuse is a little less obvious. Oftentimes, the victim does not know that they are being abused. For example, a woman has a spouse that is 15 years her senior. She may feel that she is being taken for granted with everything that she does. Cooking, cleaning, and even working outside the home. She is told that there is always something that she can improve; nothing is ever good enough, no matter what she does. She may even hear some mean comments from time to time. Factor in the fact that she hears all this over 15 years. This is psychological abuse.
This is only one scenario. Psychological abuse can take on many forms. It is not gender or culture-specific. It could be a family member or business partner. It is all about control and keeping someone in fear, the fear that they will fail without the abuser in their life. It messes with your self-esteem. This can bring stress and may even lead to depression and other mental disorders.
So how can one overcome psychological abuse? It is very possible to do so. Here are some ways:
1. Change your mindset. The abuser’s goal is to destroy your self-esteem. You must know that the abuse was not your fault. You are a survivor, and the abuser does not control your life and your future.
2. Talk about it. You can opt to see a professional counselor if you feel that is necessary. However, you have the option of talking to a trusted friend, spouse, or other family members. Talking about your feelings is cleansing and helps you move forward.
3. Give yourself time. Time heals all wounds, as they say. The effects of psychological abuse do not disappear overnight.
4. Have a plan. Many victims stay with their abusers because they do not have a plan to leave the situation. It can be because of finances, living arrangements, or children, depending on the situation. Plan your “escape,” if needed. Your peace of mind is more valuable than any amount of money or possession.
5. Rely on a Higher Power. Those that believe in praying to a Higher Power note the positive changes in their life. The changes may happen instantly, or sometimes it may take a little longer, but worth it.
6. Eat healing foods. As I mentioned, psychological abuse can lead to stress and possibly depression and other disorders. St. John’s wort helps mild depression and anxiety. Peppermint relieves headaches, which can be brought on by stress. Eating garden vegetables, fruits, and whole grains increase longevity. Eating meat is a choice; however, you can go meatless 1- 3 days per week. When you do eat meat, make sure that it is antibiotic-free and grass-fed. On a personal note, I have done this practice and started seeing positive changes mentally as well as physically.
7. Follow healthy habits. Exercise can calm your nerves. Avoid alcohol, nicotine, and other recreational drugs. Turning to these habits because of stress can lead to addictions.
Being healthy not only includes the physical but also the emotional and mental. Are you looking for better whole health? Consider if health coaching is right for you. Visit my website here.
Cassandra Wiley, Executive Contributor, Brainz Magazine Cassandra Wiley is a health coach and founder of Have Faith and Live Well with Chasadah LLC. She focuses primarily on chronic illnesses such as pre-diabetes, high cholesterol, and obesity. Her mission is to empower individuals to lose weight and teach a new healthier approach to food to live better lives. She was successful in reversing her pre-diabetes and high cholesterol diagnoses naturally. The weight loss was an added benefit. She has helped clients change their diets and “have faith” in themselves to meet their health and wellness goals.
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