Jodie Solberg is a Mental Wellness Professional and Success Coach, Certified Master Hypnotherapist, Transformational Speaker, International Best-Selling Author, and the founder and CEO of Psyched Up Success.
Negative self-talk is the internal dialogue that critiques or criticizes our actions and decisions, often without our conscious awareness. This type of self-talk is incredibly common, and for many, it becomes a persistent background noise that shapes how we perceive ourselves and our abilities. Whether it's berating ourselves for small mistakes, doubting our worth, or assuming the worst will happen, negative self-talk can be a powerful force that diminishes our quality of life and mental health.
What is self-acceptance?
We all have a general sense of what it means to “accept” something. In everyday life, we might accept financial circumstances, unhealthy relationships, or unfulfilling jobs. However, in psychology, acceptance goes deeper. It involves taking a stance of non-judgmental awareness and actively embracing the experience of thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations as they occur.
Difficult emotions are an inescapable part of life: sadness, anger, disappointment, frustration, and heartbreak touch us all. How we respond to these emotions can either be through resistance or acceptance. Resistance is often our default because these emotions are uncomfortable. However, resisting or avoiding difficult experiences can cause further psychological harm, and can increase negative self-talk.
The importance of self-acceptance
Acceptance is the healthier option. Believing that something is fundamentally wrong with us can cause deep and tenacious suffering. Our experiences consist largely of our emotions, thoughts, and actions. Learning to accept these aspects of ourselves, even when they seem difficult or undesirable, is a crucial tool for well-being.
Reflecting on your self-talk
To be more accepting, it’s essential to reflect on how you habitually treat yourself. Consider these questions:
Do you speak harshly to yourself about perceived mistakes or embarrassing moments?
When overwhelmed with emotion, do you get frustrated with yourself for feeling this way?
How might you adopt a more understanding and gentler attitude towards yourself?
How to cultivate acceptance
Notice your resistance
How do you tend to resist your experience? Do you snack to stave off boredom or binge-scroll on social media when feeling sad? Most resistance is unconscious. Becoming aware of your resistance is the first step towards change.
Examine your patterns
Once you notice your resistance, dig deeper. Reflect on how your childhood experiences might have shaped your emotional processing today. Writing out these reflections can help you understand and accept that formative experiences outside your control may influence current patterns. The good news is that awareness opens the door to change.
Practice mindfulness
Mindfulness involves awareness and acceptance of our experience. Traditional mindfulness practices like meditation are helpful, but you can also integrate smaller mindful moments into your daily life without formal meditation. Simply observe your experiences nonjudgmental.
Speak to your inner child
We are often our harshest critics. Look at a picture of yourself as a child, innocent and vulnerable, and imagine speaking to that version of yourself. This perspective can help you be gentler and more understanding towards yourself during difficult times.
Adopt a growth mindset
Adopting a growth mindset involves believing that you can improve through effort and persistence. This mindset shifts your focus from fixed traits, like being "good" or "bad" at something, to a state of continual learning and development. Celebrate progress, not perfection, and view challenges as opportunities to grow.
Practice regularly
Acceptance is a skill that requires practice. By continuously choosing a more accepting mindset, it becomes a mental habit. Over time, these repeated mental choices become natural and less effortful. Use each struggle with difficult emotions as an opportunity to practice acceptance.
Reach out for support
You don't have to navigate the journey to self-acceptance alone. Reaching out for support from friends, family, and professionals can provide you with perspectives and strategies that reinforce your efforts. A support system can offer encouragement and remind you of your strengths, especially when self-doubt creeps in.
Embracing acceptance for well-being
Remember that acceptance is not resignation. It's about being aware of and acknowledging your current feelings and thoughts and then accepting and embracing yourself as worthy and capable, rather than resigning yourself to accept your current life circumstances as unchangeable. Through awareness and practice, you can increase self-acceptance in your life and reap the benefits of improved well-being. Ready to transform your self-talk and embrace self-acceptance? Download my Guide to Mastering Mindfulness here to help increase your awareness, and then book a free 30-minute consultation at Psyched Up Success to start your journey towards a more accepting and fulfilling life.
Jodie Solberg, Certified Master Hypnotherapist
Jodie Solberg is a Mental Wellness Professional and Success Coach, Certified Master Hypnotherapist, Transformational Speaker, International Best-Selling Author, and the founder and CEO of Psyched Up Success. She helps her clients heal from trauma, anxiety, and burnout so they can create peace, joy, and work-life harmony. Jodie’s greatest joy and purpose is in helping others find their confidence and create a life they love, so they can go out and pass those lessons on to the next generation.
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