John Tepe, founder of John Tepe High Performance Mindset Coaching and Therapy, helps professionals master their beliefs and behaviours. With advanced degress in English Literature and Applied Neuroscience and expertise as a Master Practitioner of Neurolinguistic Programming, John helps clients to take control of their narrative.
Success isn’t just about talent or opportunity—it’s about mastering the mindset that drives your actions. Reflection and reformation are the keys to turning past missteps into stepping stones for future growth. By understanding how your thoughts and language shape your decisions, you can align your goals with your behavior and take control of your personal and professional achievements. This guide will show you how to harness the power of emotional vocabulary, intentional reflection, and practical strategies to achieve success on your terms.
The power of language in structuring mindset
In 2020, psychologist James Pennebaker and colleagues published research on emotional vocabularies and their profound influence on well-being. Their findings? “Verbal concepts construct perceptions of reality, including the experience and perception of emotional states.”
What we say does more than express current feelings; it also shapes how we perceive the past and envision the future. Examining language habits offers insights into mental patterns that may either limit or propel us forward.
For professionals aiming to reach milestones—be it gaining licensure, securing promotions, or repairing strained workplace relationships—language becomes an invaluable tool for reflection and change. One simple yet effective method is writing: a practice of free, uninterrupted journaling to examine one’s thoughts and emotional vocabulary.
Writing as a tool for reformation
Consider JC (name changed), a client who was navigating familial regret while pursuing a career milestone - taking his business abroad and working internationally. After a few sessions, JC commented that he had become preoccupied with feelings of doubt and regret about a personal relationship of his. We explored the issue and to gain clarity, I asked him to write freely about this relationship for four 15-30 minute sessions.. The results were revealing and broke through thick limiting and troubling beliefs JC had been having.
During our session, JC and I categorized his words into positive and negative terms, following Pennebaker’s guidance. Surprisingly, his entries reflected far less rumination and far more balanced memories than he’d initially believed. Sorting through his vocabulary uncovered a positive emotional narrative: memories of birthdays, visits, and shared efforts to maintain a bond despite living apart.
This exercise transformed his perspective. JC realized he had actively nurtured the relationship, contradicting the guilt he carried. From this realization, JC moved to action: scheduling a meaningful conversation to reconnect and mend the relationship intentionally.
Acceptance, reformation, and professionalism
Acceptance isn’t about resigning to failure—it’s about seeing the full picture and choosing to capitalize on the good. Regret, when harnessed, becomes a powerful motivator for change. For JC, it meant reforming intentions and making reparations for the future. For another client, AR, it meant owning impulsive behaviors that strained personal relationships and using that awareness to renew their self-belief and self-worth and restart a career in finance. AR went from panic attacks every time they logged into LinkedIn to signing an employment contract with a $100K base salary.
Professional success mirrors personal growth. Both require vulnerability, accountability, and the courage to examine how language and behavior shape outcomes. Professionals who engage in this reflective process—whether through therapy, coaching, or personal practice—find they are better equipped to transform obstacles into opportunities.
Showing up for success
Success isn’t just about talent; it’s about showing up. Whether for a family relationship, a job application, or a $100,000 interview opportunity (yes, that happened), success rewards those who align mindset with action.
Professionalism demands understanding our language patterns, taking ownership of our thoughts, and reshaping beliefs to serve our goals. By removing emotional armor and embracing accountability, professionals can reframe challenges, conquer obstacles, and step into their highest potential.
Tips for effective journaling
Write for you and for you alone
Grammar, spelling, and ‘style’ do not count. Your English teacher from school isn’t watching you or grading you.
Write regularly
Daily entries are ideal. Weekly entries work well, too.
Write continually
Keep your writing hand moving non-stop, for at least 15 minutes and no more than 30 minutes. Keep your pen to paper as continually as possible. The idea is to express your thoughts and feelings, and less so to think about them.
Avoid personal attacks
Explore your thoughts and feelings and avoid ranting or going on tirades. By all means express how you feel and keep from getting sucked into negative feelings.
Be honest
Write without judgement and say everything you need to say. Get it all down. The more openly and fully you ‘confess’ your feelings the less energy your body expends keeping them bottled up. Holding in emotions is tiring and stressful for your body - it triggers an immune response and can make you sick.
Recognise links and associations between your thoughts now and your thoughts then
This helps your mind create a stable and empowering narrative about your experience. As you journal you will likely want to make connections between your thoughts and feelings on one topic and with the thoughts and feelings from other situations. Don’t second guess this. Explore it and let your mind flesh out the connections.
Track your thoughts and feelings
Use highlighters or tables to track the vocabulary you use in individual journal entries and from one journal entry to another. This is particularly powerful if you write more than one entry about the same situation. (I’ll recommend this in the next tip.) Notice how your charged thoughts and feelings become less potent over time. You’ll shift from directly identifying with your feelings to observing them and noting their impact on your experience.
Return to uncomfortable situations and emotions repeatedly
Feel all your feelings and engage as many of your physical senses as possible. The more you engage with a situation, the more of a change your brain has a chance to process it. Engaging with memories enacts neuroplasticity and lets you rework your reaction to the situation on an anatomical level. You’ll be literally disconnecting and reconnecting your neural network for the situation.
Use letter writing to help you structure your entries
You can write to yourself, to other people, and even to different parts of your personality. A great exercise my coach had me complete was to write letters in sets of three - my letter, the addressee’s response (what I wanted them to say in an ideal world), and then my final answer to what the addressee had written. While you aren’t actually writing to another person, you are writing to your mental representation of that person. Framing their ideal response, and your response to that, can powerfully resolve inner resentments, anger, and frustration. Journalled letter writing brings about great inner peace and resolution.
Work with a professional
Intentional journaling is powerful and effective. So, it can bring up emotions for which you need an extra bit of support. Working with a therapist or coach also helps you ‘mine’ your writing for powerful thoughts, feelings, affirmations, and visualisations for your goals and future opportunities coming your way.
Start your journey today
If you’re ready to master success management and align your mindset with your professional and personal goals, reach out today. Together, we can identify what’s holding you back, reform your thinking, and create a path to lasting growth and achievement.
Read more from John Tepe
John Tepe, High Performance Coach and Psychotherapist
John Tepe is the founder of John Tepe High Performance Mindset Coaching and Therapy, where he helps ambitious professionals gain clarity, master their behaviors, and capitalize on career opportunities like promotions, business deals, and personal milestones. With advanced degrees in English Literature and Applied Neuroscience, as well as expertise as a Master Practitioner of Neurolinguistic Programming, John blends creativity and science to empower his clients. His mission is to help professionals take control of their life narrative and achieve meaningful, lasting success.
