Jodie Solberg is a Mental Wellness Professional and Success Coach, Certified Master Hypnotherapist, Transformational Speaker, International Best-Selling Author, and the founder and CEO of Psyched Up Success.
Emotional regulation is a vital skill for maintaining both immediate relief and long-term well-being. Without these skills, we often turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms that offer temporary comfort but ultimately leave us feeling worse. Enhancing our emotional regulation skills allows us to manage our emotions healthily and sustainably, leading to a more harmonious and fulfilling life.
What is emotional regulation?
Emotional regulation is the ability to manage and respond to your emotional experiences in a healthy and constructive way. It involves recognizing, understanding, and modulating your emotions, enabling you to stay within your window of capacity. This window represents the range of emotional intensity that you can handle while remaining calm, focused, and able to respond rather than react to the world around you.
What causes emotional dysregulation?
Emotional dysregulation occurs when our emotions become overwhelming and challenging to control. This often results from a lack of emotional regulation skills, leading to intense emotional experiences that push us outside our window of capacity. Factors contributing to dysregulation include stress, trauma, and ineffective coping strategies such as alcohol, drugs, or overeating. These unhealthy methods provide short-term relief but can exacerbate emotional difficulties in the long run.
9 effective emotional regulation techniques
Here are some essential techniques to get you started on this journey:
1. Self-awareness
Self-awareness is the cornerstone of emotion regulation. Without it, recognizing and managing our emotions becomes challenging. By cultivating self-awareness, we lay a solid foundation for effective emotional management. Start by regularly checking in with yourself to identify and understand your emotions. One way to do this is to take 3 mindful breaths, name the emotions and sensations in your body you are experiencing at that moment, and then take 3 more mindful breaths.
2. Embrace your emotions
Embracing your emotions means acknowledging and experiencing your emotions without judgment. Judging ourselves for feeling a certain way can amplify these emotions, making them harder to regulate. Practice mindfulness, self-compassion, and non-judgment to accept your emotions as they are, which can reduce their intensity and duration.
3. Positive programming
Our brains have processes that aid in emotion regulation, which can be enhanced through positive reprogramming. One method to positively program your brain is to create growth-minded affirmations and repeat them to yourself, especially in response to negative thoughts and feelings about yourself or your situation. Repeating affirmations starting with “I am” and then an action such as “learning/growing/figuring out/becoming better at” can activate brain regions associated with positivity and communicate to your subconscious mind to look for ways to regulate rather than pulling you further into dysregulation. This practice can strengthen your emotional regulation capabilities over time.
4. Attentional shifting
Shifting our attention from negative to positive aspects can significantly improve our emotional state. Studies show that focusing on neutral or positive stimuli rather than negative ones can reduce anxiety and enhance overall well-being. Train yourself to redirect your attention towards the positive aspects of your life, such as what you can do vs. what you can’t, what you do have vs. what you don’t, and what actions you can take vs. what you feel powerless over.
5. Cognitive reframing
Cognitive reframing involves changing the way you perceive an experience to make it more positive or less negative. This skill helps increase positive emotions while simultaneously decreasing negative ones. Practice cognitive reframing by finding new, positive perspectives on challenging situations. Acknowledge the emotion, examine the thought, and then find a more balanced perspective. For example, imagine you had a tough day at work and received critical feedback. Initially, you might think, "I'm terrible at my job." Through cognitive reframing, you can shift this to, "Today was challenging, but I can use this feedback to improve and grow." This helps you manage your emotions more effectively and stay within your window of capacity.
6. Future perspective
Taking a future perspective helps regulate emotions by viewing your current situation from a future vantage point. Reminding yourself that "this too shall pass" can provide comfort and reduce the emotional impact of present difficulties. Visualize a future emotionally regulated version of yourself looking back on the current situation with greater clarity and calm.
7. Observer's viewpoint
Taking on an observer's viewpoint involves observing your situation as if you were an outsider. Think of yourself as being in the blizzard inside a snow globe that is your own life. This technique helps you view your life from the outside of that snow globe, allowing you to view your situation more objectively and manage your emotions more effectively. Imagine if a friend were going through the same thing that you are now and consider how you might advise them.
8. Joyful savoring
Joyful savoring involves being fully present and immersed in positive experiences and the emotions they generate. By intentionally focusing on and relishing these moments, you can create longer-lasting positive emotional states. Take time to fully experience and appreciate the good moments in your life, using all of your senses, noticing how this experience looks, feels, sounds, smells, and tastes.
9. Gratitude
Gratitude involves recognizing and appreciating the good in your life. It not only boosts your mood but also enhances your relationships. Practice gratitude by keeping a gratitude journal, writing thank-you notes, or simply reflecting on three things you are thankful for each day. Be sure to not only identify those things and people that you are grateful for, but also describe why you are grateful for them and experience the emotions associated with that gratitude to achieve the full benefits of this practice.
Start your regulation journey today
Learning and practicing emotional regulation techniques can help you stay within your window of capacity, allowing you to respond to life's challenges with calmness and clarity. Ready to transform your emotional well-being? Book a free 30-minute consultation to start your journey towards emotional harmony. Visit Psyched Up Success to schedule your session today.
Jodie Solberg, Certified Master Hypnotherapist
Jodie Solberg is a Mental Wellness Professional and Success Coach, Certified Master Hypnotherapist, Transformational Speaker, International Best-Selling Author, and the founder and CEO of Psyched Up Success. She helps her clients heal from trauma, anxiety, and burnout so they can create peace, joy, and work-life harmony. Jodie’s greatest joy and purpose is in helping others find their confidence and create a life they love, so they can go out and pass those lessons on to the next generation.
