Written by: Annie McKinnon, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
2021 is finally over and here we are in 2022 so now what?
At the end of every year, we reflect on the ups and downs we have experienced and start to think about what we want to be different in the coming year. We make new year resolutions, making a pact with ourselves that we will change those areas of our life that will surely allow us to be much happier and fulfilled. We start to feel excited about life again and plan how we are going to: go for that job we really want; meet someone special or even leave someone behind; get healthier and fitter; get our finances in order; learn to be more assertive or make the decision to go back into education. The list is endless and personal to us.
But then, life takes over and we find excuses not to commit and so the cycle repeats itself year after year with the result, we never get to live out the things we really want to do or achieve.
Continuous Personal Development (CPD) has been publicised for many years. It seems to me that whenever I access any form of social media it is crowded with people promoting it; podcasts talking about it; people writing quotes about it; workplaces offering and encouraging it; as well as thousands of people publishing books on it. I guess you could say, it’s in our faces but I often wonder how much notice we really pay it.
Opportunities come our way all the time but sometimes, they are so subtle we push them aside without even realising what we have done. What am I talking about? Well, let me ask you a question, have you ever had a conversation with someone or been at an event and thought “I could really benefit from that” But then walked away never to explore it further? I am sure most of us have been guilty of this at one time or another.
The starting question, for me is, what is it about us, as human beings, that whilst we talk a lot about developing ourselves, we tend to stay stuck in a mindset where we bury so many opportunities?
We talk a lot about making the most of our lives whilst we are still alive as we understand our time on earth is far too short. One thing we can all be certain about is that our life will end at some point. But, during the time we have, rather than make the very best of it, we often muddle along, feeling stuck in a life we know we don’t want but don’t take the steps we need to make it better. We know deep down we hold ourselves back but continue to put blocks in place telling ourselves “I will get round to it”. But, like tomorrow, it never comes.
I have been thinking through these ideas albeit quietly for some time, but they have become much louder, demanding my undivided attention, especially whilst we navigated through last year’s Covid Pandemic, trying to make sense of ourselves and the world around us.
Let me give you an example, I walk my 3-year-old, border terrier, Bertie every day. On my walks, I have the amazing opportunity of talking to many different people I would not otherwise cross paths with. I have been told many times that I have the kind of energy that says, “it’s ok to talk to me”. And so, during our conversations, the people I talk to become aware of what they are currently struggling with and as we talk more, they begin to unfurl insights about themselves. At this point, I observe them as they take a step back, look at me with narrowed eyes and ask, “So, what is it you do for a living?” Like I am someone who just reached into their soul and now know and understand absolutely everything about them. I smile and tell them, “I’m a life coach”. More often, than not, I watch their noses scrunch and they ask “Oh, what’s that?” So, I find myself explaining what coaching is, and more importantly, what it isn’t. Most reactions are along the lines of, “Wow, that sounds amazing, I could benefit from that, but it sounds like something only rich people can afford.” Once I explain that everyone has access to coaching and that it’s more about a person investing in themselves and what they deem important, that they decide right there and then to start their coaching journey with me. On the other hand, I have witnessed people throughout my life who have had some insight whether that be at work or in their personal life and do absolutely nothing about it. I am very curious as to why that is.
Until I came across and signed up to coaching, I had no idea just how much I was limiting myself in living a full and happy life. I was stuck in beliefs that held me back and prevented me from reaching my full potential in every area of my life. I had the most unbelievable experience that led me on a journey of self-discovery and highlighted just how much I was holding myself back. But also that it was my responsibility to change what I didn’t like about my life and move forward doing exactly what I wanted. It seems so simple when you think about it, but all we need to do is make ourselves a priority. Thinking about the right choices and decisions for ourselves is paramount.
Exploring each area of my life I came to understand that I too, had areas I wanted to improve. I loved the fact that as my coach and I talked through what I wanted from life, we identified what I needed to do each week so that I could put things in place to make my dreams and passions a reality. I also loved that my coach held me accountable and that I had a responsibility to relay back to her exactly what I had done to move forward. I pushed myself out of my comfort zone, stretching myself to do things I never thought possible. I had that feel-the-fear-and-do-it-anyway experience.
The results of coaching led me to start my own coaching business, helping other people to grow and improve their lives. I am not saying that was the end of it, growing and developing is a lifelong journey and requires us to be conscious of what makes us happy and what we need to get rid of. For me, it’s thinking about what I want to leave behind for people to remember me by and the story they will tell of my life. This means, I need to be very specific about what I want to leave the world with. Here, I will assume, like me, you have signed up for numerous conferences, courses, workshops, training sessions, etc. I will also assume that most of these areas of development have been for the benefit of someone else or an organisation rather than for yourself. Ask yourself, has the time come around for you to really think about what your development needs are so that you can live out your passion and purpose so that you can leave your own legacy?
When I reflect, I can clearly see there is a theme that runs through all my connections. Human beings, when they are in a position where they are given the space and time to think, have ideas, dreams, and passions, as well as a longing deep inside to do something meaningful with this life we have. It’s clear we all need a purpose for us to feel useful, happy, and fulfilled. If we don’t have a purpose, we can bear serious consequences such as a decrease in our mental health, as well as feelings of hopelessness. It struck me that many people make the decision, whether that’s conscious or subconscious, to stay stuck in their lives feeling unhappy and unfulfilled making the decision to not invest in themselves but rather in “stuff” around them.
If you are a person that welcomes self-development, you are probably excited about what this year will bring as well as what you need to do to work towards your best self. On the other hand, you may be someone who sits back and waits for opportunities to come to you. If so, have you thought about how you are giving your power to someone else to decide what they think you need, and this may take you in a different direction and away from your dreams, passions and what is, essentially your purpose?
I would really like you to think about and that’s when you know your life is coming to an end, what story do you want to leave behind and are you, right now, doing what you have to do to leave a legacy you would love to hear people talking about when you are gone?
Here are some steps you can take to realise your purpose, make your dreams and passions a reality and leave a legacy that will not be forgotten.
Recognise where you are now, because if you don’t recognise where you are right now and what it is you want to change, how are you ever going to know where you want to be?
Seek out and Request the right support so that you can talk through your ideas, passions and dreams that will help you take them to the next level.
Realise that you have the ability and power to achieve exactly what you want and that all you need to do is make the decision to take them forward.
Learn to be Resilient so that you can knock all challenges and obstacles out of your way.
Get the Results you want so that you can live your very best life and continue to grow.
Always Revisit where you started, where you are now so that you can fill in the gaps in your life.
Re-Energise your life by continuing to ask yourself, “What could I benefit from?” and seek it out.
Annie McKinnon
Life Coach, trainer, speaker and Writer
The Coaching Cart
07564 783734
Annie McKinnon, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Annie McKinnon is a life coach, living out her passion and what she believes is her purpose, working with people so that they too can live their very best life. Annie's journey to coaching was as a result of the many challenges she faced growing up in Scotland, belonging to the LGBTQ+ community. Life for Annie was restrictive and oppressive. Annie understands the additional challenges the LGBTQ+ community face today and continually uses her voice to drive forward important discussions in areas such as equality, inclusion, belonging, progression, and education across society. Coaching, for Annie, is about that moment, where her clients have, what some call, “the lightbulb moment”. In Annie’s experience, it can be far more subtle and come across in a clients smile, tone of voice or even a movement. The moment her clients recognise their own power, strength and energy that confidently says “I’ve got this, and I know what I need to do to take me where I want to be”
