Written by: Ira Correia, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
You are in the business of influencing and persuading if you ever needed to get a message across in an attempt to achieve a specific result.
We influence others when we employ the appropriate verbal or non-verbal language that motivates and inspire them to take the desired action.
Influencing skills are essential in business, leadership, and relationships.
They are the same tools used to attract more of the best clients, hire the right people, achieve better results in negotiations or litigations, increase sales and customer satisfaction, create high-performance teams or improve organizational change.
Just imagine what it would mean to your personal life, career, or business if you could achieve ten or more times the results you aim for, in less time, using fewer resources, or have a more significant impact?
This article will show you a collaborative and conversational way to master the power of influence through inspiration and empowerment while building relationships, increasing trust and loyalty.
A. Be Aware of the Framework that Works
Failure to influence primarily originates from an erroneous understanding of the roles, responsibilities, and mechanics during effective communication.
We often expect the receiver of our message to swiftly understand what we mean, as we comfortably use our own words, triggers, filters, or ways of thinking. Consequently, we tend to think less favorably of whoever doesn’t understand such explicit terms, requests, or ideas.
However, during effective communication, it’s the responsibility of the communicator to tailor his message in a way that its receiver can process and understand, not the other way around.
When we do this, we use the correct “mental codes” or filters that unlock comprehension and incite motivation and action in others.
Being aware of this framework automatically makes you accountable for the results of your communication efforts. Furthermore, it inevitably compels you to enhance your observation and listening skills to determine the appropriate message in each case.
B. Identify the Mind-Opening Filters
Have you ever had the impression that you were talking to a wall during a conversation? Well, maybe you were if you were not using the words that open the receiver’s mind.
Mental Filters are the codes we use to organize and process language. They can be words, order, detail, direction, etc., with which we structure language and communication.
These filters are potent cause they reflect the way our neurology works.
For our communication efforts to impact others, we need first to meet them where they are mentally, then use their mental filters to trigger their interest and motivation, ultimately taking them where we want them to go.
The mechanics of influence pull others towards a goal using their keywords, which reflect what matters most to them while using their mental filters to structure the message.
Here are 3 Simple Steps to achieve that:
1) Spot and Use Their Mental Filters
• Identify the direction of motivation: Do they intend to go towards an objective or move away from a problem?
• Identify their decision-making preference: Do they want to decide for themselves, or do they want to be advised?
• Do they want to consider different options to achieve something, or are they ready to know the how-to process?
• Do they communicate in a logical, short, and sequential way, or do they use a long story-like format?
2) Identify Their Criteria
Criteria lie at the core of all human experience. It refers to what is important to us in a specific context. Our criteria are the utmost drivers of our emotional, psychological or physical reactions.
We can quickly identify them with simple questions such as;
“What is important to you in………?”
“What do you want in….?”
3) Listen to The Keywords They Use
Keywords are the words we use to express what matters most to us, along with how we process information. They represent valuable data that carry immense meaning and power. Paraphrasing is not as effective as it transforms other people’s words into ours, removing their influence in the process.
Carefully listen to and use their keywords or phrases. You might find that people repeat or stress them often enough.
Formulate the Message
Equipped with the knowledge of their criteria, the keywords they use to convey it, and the mental filters contained in the way they communicate, influential communicators elegantly structure their message in a way that reflects this information.
For example, it is crucial for someone who communicates shortly and sequentially to decide the best way to avoid a specific problem. Thus, telling them how to install a long process to achieve a positive goal is one ineffective way to influence them.
Firstly, what is important to them is that they decide which is the best way, not to be told by someone else. Secondly, they want to consider options or different forms of “what to do” not precisely or at least not yet “how to do it”.
They need the information to be in short, logical, and sequential order (steps 1, 2, and 3), not in a long story-like format. Their goal is to avoid or move away from something negative instead of moving towards a positive result.
Highly effective influencers pull others towards their vision by sparking the motivation that energizes them towards what matters most to them while fulfilling the strategic business or leadership goals.
Ira Correia, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Ira is the Founder of Evolucentric, a Coaching, Consulting, Training & Development start-up based in Singapore, with the mission to Empower Mindsets, Develop Skillsets, Revamp Strategies & Tools for Personal, Financial & Business Success. She is passionately driven by the belief that our lives are meant to reflect the highest expression of ourselves.
Ira is an Entrepreneur, Real Estate Investor & Financial Trader. She is an ICF Accredited NLP Master Practioner, Professional Member of The Association of NLP and The Association for Coaching. She holds degrees in Neuropsychology, Finance & a Master’s Degree in International Management.
