Lisa Schlosberg embodies the new paradigm of health and healing from a heart-centered lens. She empowers her clients and global community to use their struggles with food and body image.
For so many of us, our relationship with food is complicated. We turn to it for comfort, control, or celebration, yet it can also be a source of guilt, shame, and confusion. Maybe you’ve been stuck in the cycle of dieting, bingeing, and restricting, or perhaps you feel out of control around certain foods and don’t understand why. I get it, I’ve been there.
When I was younger, food felt like both my best friend and my worst enemy. I would use it to soothe the pain I didn’t know how to deal with and then feel ashamed for eating “too much” or the “wrong” thing. It took years of self-discovery and healing to understand what was going on beneath the surface. Healing your relationship with food isn’t about willpower or finding the “perfect” diet—it’s about addressing the deeper emotional, psychological, and physiological patterns that have taken hold over time.
How to transform your relationship with food into nourishment, trust, & peace
1. Understand how, when, and why food became a coping mechanism
Food often plays a role far beyond physical nourishment. For many, it becomes a tool for emotional regulation, safety, or even survival. This isn’t a failure—it’s your brain-body system’s way of trying to meet your needs. The brain is wired to seek comfort and predictability when faced with stress, trauma, or unmet emotional needs, and food is one of the most accessible ways to self-soothe. Especially as children, we often don’t have access to drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, or gambling; food often serves the same psychological purpose as other addictions and emotional eating can become a habit very early on in life without any conscious awareness.
Think about it: when you’re stressed or overwhelmed, isn’t it easier to grab a bag of chips or a pint of ice cream than to sit with uncomfortable emotions? That’s not you “failing” at self-control—that’s your “animal” brain doing its job to protect you. Instead of judging yourself or falling into a shame spiral about something that was never your fault, get curious.
Take some time to reflect on your history with food.
How did you cope with sadness, anxiety, loneliness, and other tough emotions when you were a child?
Are there moments in your life when food became a source of comfort, safety, or control?
Were there times when food was the only thing you could rely on?
Does food give you a sense of power or certainty when life feels chaotic?
Understand that your current struggles with food are not a personal flaw or character defect—they’re rooted in your brain and body’s brilliant attempt to protect you. And while those patterns made sense at one point, they might not be serving you anymore. Sometimes I like to think of it as an outdated software system that simply needs an upgrade. Practice using other coping mechanisms (see below) to provide yourself with the safety you’re currently seeking from food.
2. Release the diet mentality
Diet culture teaches us to view food as “good” or “bad,” and ourselves as either succeeding or failing based on how we eat. This black-and-white thinking often leads to cycles of restriction, guilt, and overcompensation.
For me, dieting always felt like a game I could never win. I’d start with the best intentions, but the harder I tried to restrict myself, the stronger my cravings would get. Eventually, I’d give in, binge, and feel like a failure all over again. What I didn’t realize then—and what research now confirms—is that dieting itself is a setup for weight gain and disordered eating. Restriction triggers a primal survival response in your brain, making it harder to resist the foods you’re trying to avoid.
Instead of focusing on your weight as the primary goal, consider shifting your focus to holistic health, long-term well-being vitality, and how you feel in your body. Prioritize mental, emotional, spiritual, and social health in addition to physical health. Research shows that behaviors like consistent movement, balanced nutrition, and stress management are far more sustainable and impactful for overall health than weight loss alone.
The more you let go of the obsession with weight, the easier it becomes to build a more positive relationship with food, your body, and yourself. Despite what many of us have been taught to believe, much of the peace and freedom we’re seeking can be accessed and embodied without changing the number on the scale.
3. Practice self-compassion
Healing your relationship with food requires self-compassion and you are worthy of the same love you offer others. Instead of criticizing yourself for what you eat or how much you weigh, treat yourself with the same kindness you would offer a friend or your child. Stop objectifying yourself and remember that you are a complex, multi-dimensional human being who is much more than your body. Sometimes it’s helpful for my clients to think about how they would talk to their pet, and then turn that loving acceptance inward.
A consistent self-compassion practice helps quiet the inner critic that says you need to “get it together” or “try harder” and replaces it with an understanding that you’re human, you’re doing your best, and healing is an ongoing journey.
Here’s how you can practice self-compassion:
Acknowledge your feelings without judgment. If you ate emotionally, remind yourself that it’s okay to feel upset, stressed, or overwhelmed and you did what you needed to do to feel safe in that moment.
Talk to yourself like a friend. Replace harsh self-talk with affirming statements like, “I’m doing my best” or “It’s okay to take it one step at a time.” Practice patience, flexibility, understanding, and empathy toward yourself.
Reframe setbacks as opportunities to learn. Instead of seeing a binge or an emotional eating moment as a failure, view it as a chance to understand what your body and mind need in that moment. You’re always collecting valuable data about your experience to integrate into future endeavors.
Explore these free resources to support yourself in changing up the inner dialogue.
The more you practice self-compassion, the more trust, peace, and safety you’ll build with yourself—and with food.
4. Practice mindful eating
Mindful eating is a game-changer when it comes to healing your relationship with food, especially for emotional eaters. It’s about slowing down and tuning in to your body’s hunger and fullness cues, as well as the sensory experience of eating. Many of us spend the majority of each day disconnected from our bodies and therefore have a difficult time feeling stable or in control around food. With mindful eating, you are intentionally re-connecting your mind to your body and shifting your nervous system out of the “fight or flight” state and into the safe “rest and digest” mode ideal for digestion.
Here’s how you can start:
Sit down for meals without distractions like TV or your phone.
Pay attention to the textures, flavors, and aromas of your food.
Pause halfway through your meal to check in with your hunger and fullness levels.
Mindful eating also invites you to enjoy your food without guilt or judgment. When you savor every bite, you’re less likely to overeat and more likely to feel satisfied—physically and emotionally. If you’d like access to my free mindful eating guide, feel free to contact me directly via my website!
5. Address emotional triggers
One of the biggest barriers to a healthy relationship with food is emotional eating. This happens when we use food to numb, distract, or avoid uncomfortable feelings. While eating for emotional comfort is normal, valid, and human (and there is nothing morally wrong with doing it!), it can cause health issues down the line if food is the primary or only method of coping we have in our toolbox. Been there. It’s important to remember that we can’t solve an emotional problem with a physical solution and that other methods of regulating emotions and managing stress can support us on a deeper level long term.
For example, if you’ve had a tough day at work, it’s natural to reach for something that feels comforting—like chocolate or pizza. But often, what we’re really craving isn’t the food itself—it’s relief from stress, connection, or a sense of ease. Many of us feel like food is a friend or companion.
Start by noticing the emotions that arise before you reach for food.
Are you stressed, anxious, lonely, or bored?
What are you hoping the food will give you in that moment?
How or where else might you be able to get that deeper need met?
Instead of judging yourself, use this as an opportunity to get curious. Journaling, breathwork, or gentle movement can help you process emotions without turning to food. If you’re seeking more support in shifting this habit, coaching or therapy are great options as well.
6. Build a strong support system
Healing your relationship with food doesn’t happen in isolation. Just like with recovery from other addictive tendencies, surrounding yourself with people who support and understand your journey is crucial. Our human brains are wired for connection with others, and many of us struggle with food because we are experiencing disconnection.
Consider building connections with:
Close friends or family members who can offer empathy and encouragement.
A therapist or coach trained in trauma-informed or mindful eating approaches.
Communities or groups where you feel safe and understood.
Having a support system reminds you that you’re not alone in this journey and supports your brain-body system in feeling safe to live life without depending on food for comfort.
7. Manage stress to support your goals
Stress has a profound impact on your eating habits and overall health. Chronic stress increases levels of cortisol, a hormone linked to cravings, emotional eating, and weight gain. Additionally, stress can lead to behaviors like increased alcohol or cannabis consumption, which can also contribute to weight changes.
Here are a few ways to manage stress:
Practice daily self-care, like meditation, deep breathing, or yoga.
Move your body, not as punishment but as a way to release stress and reconnect with yourself.
Create healthy boundaries with work, relationships, and responsibilities.
Prioritize adequate amounts of sleep each night and rest when you need it.
Reduce reliance on alcohol or cannabis by exploring alternative ways to unwind, such as journaling or connecting with a friend.
Managing stress not only supports a healthier relationship with food but also fosters overall well-being.
Healing your relationship with food is about so much more than changing what’s on your plate—it’s about nurturing your mind, body, and spirit. It is a lifelong journey of self-discovery, self-compassion, and building trust in yourself. I know this because I’ve lived it.
If you’re ready to take the next step, visit my website for resources and check out my podcast, where I share stories, tools, and strategies to support you. You don’t have to do this alone—healing is possible, and it starts with you.
Lisa Schlosberg, Holistic Health Coach and Certified Personal Trainer
Lisa Schlosberg embodies the new paradigm of health and healing from a heart-centered lens. She empowers her clients and global community to use their struggles with food and body image as a path to rebuilding the mind-body connection so that they can access deeper authenticity, exercise personal power, and embody a life of freedom. Having lost and maintained 150 pounds for more than a decade by healing her relationship with food (through emotional healing, somatic experiencing, mindset shifts, and more), Lisa founded Out of the Cave, LLC., where she combines her comprehensive expertise as a Social Worker (LMSW), Certified Personal Trainer, Integrative Nutrition Holistic Health Coach, Yoga Teacher.
