Written by: Melissa McClain, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
The most powerful thing to liberate in yourself is to combine that inner child ball of unworthiness with getting into it and questioning its belief you have to it at that deep level of unconsciousness that lives in your nervous system. Doing it from your head is very different than doing it from the space of the ball inside of you that holds the limiting belief system.
Have you ever wondered why you are not attracting the kind of love or relationship you deeply desire?
Do you continue to struggle in your relationships hoping others will change so you can feel better?
Your reality looks like your past, predominately as it expresses through your body. If your body is terrified of sex, love, or relationship in some way, you energetically are unable to attract the love and relationship you deeply desire.
Our deeply unconscious thoughts are wrapped up with the signature of our bodies. The reason your body is controlled against love and relationship is that there is a thought in there that is unconscious. You can say all day that you long for a loving relationship but somewhere deep in your solar plexus (stomach area) or possibly your heart you hold this unconscious belief that you are unworthy of love, relationships are not safe, I might get my heart broken, etc.
There is an interaction between thought and your inner child. All those thoughts balled up into your nervous system are the ones that control what we experience in the world.
It is very important to get to the heart of the inner child experience and unconscious beliefs in your nervous system. The Body Keeps the Score is a great book to read to further your understanding.
Resistance to life acts like a lighthouse of your body. That old, outdated imprint is controlling your reality. There is a certain amount of struggle inside your nervous system which continues to create disharmony inside of your body that occupies a lot of time and energy, and we don’t get anywhere because we are constantly aligned with that fight.
I am a Midlife Reinvention Coach. I empower women over 40 to holistically reinvent themselves, their intimate relationships and age like a goddess. Together we create your next chapter based on your deepest desires and what is true for you with confidence, clarity, and love. You can find out more about working with me HERE.
This is where most people land. This is where you find most people who know a little about personal development and trying to change the way they have always existed.
There are 2 ways to unlock the stranglehold of the inner child we have in our bodies:
Completely remove the resistance with Tantric embodiment tools.
Make peace with that part of you.
The reason we imprinted a belief into our bodies is that we were either attached to an experience or repulsed by it. The repulsion secretly keeps it trapped in our nervous systems.
It seems counterintuitive but it is what keeps the old belief there. Removing resistance to life is not about never being resistant to anything, it’s when you hold on to the bad, the outdated thoughts and experiences that keep you recycling and repeating over and over. When we go in and understand why we operate the way we do, we develop compassion.
Compassion is one of the ways to not be resistant to reality.
When we open to compassion, we automatically open to feeling compassion to be and to in turn have compassion for the parts of us that are afraid, resistant, unworthy, and unsafe. We are no longer resistant to them. We understand I am not afraid anymore, and I am not trying to push this away. I have compassion for this part of me.
We learn to breathe into this and allow it, so we don’t just think about it, we learn to embody the resistance, the fear, the unworthiness, etc. The shadow part of sex, love, and relationships is not resistant anymore. We are no longer terrified of being terrified. No longer resistant to being resistant. We are no longer afraid of our shadow of unworthiness. Now we can eat that for breakfast.
The complex part of unworthiness starts to unwind and the more we can be at peace with it, the less sticky it becomes in present-day reality. So, once you start to own it and feel it, what happens is the gravitational field is no longer controlling your reality.
The more we can embody our inner child of ourselves, the more it releases us from our karmic bondage of reality that was operating from our past.
Once we are not operating from our past, we can consciously choose to work with present-day reality to optimize getting what we want.
In this goddess approach, we are saying I want to live in this world. I want to play the game. Roll the dice. I want to be a part of this real-world reality. I just don’t want to get lost in it.
To learn more about your inner goddess, check out Goddess Activation with Layla Martin.
When you are skip-walking through life, you are on autopilot. You are surviving not thriving. When you consciously decide to play this game of life, there are no guarantees. When you are inherent with goddess consciousness you have made yourself available for deep love and lasting relationships.
You are co-creating with the universe what you deeply desire.
There is a delight in it. Fun in it. The goddess wants you to have fun. Win or lose you are coming into alignment with this wisdom. You can say “I want to be in a deep, fulfilling, passionate, loving relationship", you might get it and you might get your heart broken. It puts empowerment in your choice, in your activation, and your alignment.
To find deep love and long-lasting relationships we must be willing to get our hearts broken. We must be willing to show up real, raw, and authentically and to do this for ourselves. To step into the best version of ourselves with bravery, confidence, and love.
Ask yourself, do you want to be in present-day reality or stay in darkness? Choosing to live in the present is liberating. It’s getting to play this game of life now.
Here are some simple steps to feel into your body
Find a quiet space. Get comfortable. Light a candle. Burn some incense. Make it your own.
Relax, close your eyes, and breathe.
Feel into your body where you feel resistance or fear. This is your inner child.
Once you find that somatic imprint deep within your nervous system, feel how this is impacting your present-day reality.
Begin a journey of reducing the resistance and this somatic reality.
Understand why this part of you developed in the first place.
How has this inner child been protecting you?
How has this inner child served you?
When you understand it a little better, maybe you can have compassion for your inner child. The scary beings within are always our protectors. Every challenging thing you can find in yourself, you can find some reason why it was protecting you.
It could be a misguided or outdated attempt, but it was trying to protect you from something scary. So, what if all your shadows were some form of protection no matter how misguided?
Can you have compassion for this part of your reality?
Can you take a moment to understand some of its struggles?
Has it been hard or painful to block you from love and relationships?
Play with the idea that this inner experience you are in could be within you forever. Why resist it? Make peace with it. Have fun with this part of you. Create a relationship as an adult with this inner child who was doing the best she could at the time. Breathe. Feel her. Embody her.
What is the predominant belief that keeps this energy alive?
Be in that belief and question it. Is it true today? Looking at it from a place with fresh eyes do you believe differently today than when you collected this belief from your past?
Start looking at the stories that you tell yourself about yourself. Do they feel good and move you forward or hold you back in sex, love, and relationships?
Here is a great article on 3 Steps to Turning Adversity into Your Super Powers
From this fear, from this center of energy, I want you to feel who you would be without this thought. Feel into this story. What is it that you want? Your deepest desires.
Feel into the moment, letting go of some of the karmic addictions and attachments of the body, heart, energy, and mind with what you truly want. Energetically aligned. And then… you have the play the game.
I am a Midlife Reinvention Coach. I empower women over 40 to holistically reinvent themselves, their intimate relationships and age like a goddess. Together we create your next chapter based on your deepest desires and what is true for you with confidence, clarity, and love.
This is at the heart of my coaching work. This is how we move karmic bondage. This is how we begin to heal the inner child and welcome her into our lives with love and compassion. This is how we move the past. This is how we use desire-based coaching as a way to get free.
Find the enjoyment of playing the inner game. Get in there and have fun. When you can play at this different level, something new opens up and unlocks.
This is deep work. It is hard to do this alone in your head. Invest in a life coach. All great athletes have coaches, and all humans should have a coach too.
I help you with today and becoming the next best version of yourself. Are you ready? Let’s go! Schedule a complimentary discovery call HERE.
You are always worth an investment in yourself.
Melissa McClain, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Melissa McClain is a Certified Midlife Reinvention Coach based in Atlanta, GA. She empowers single women 40+ to holistically reinvent themselves, their intimate relationships and age like a goddess. She is passionate about helping women rock all phases of midlife transitions. This can look like divorce, separation, grief/loss, singlehood, conscious dating, and perimenopause/menopause to name a few. She has created a proven 4 step coaching process blending Tantra, Embodiment and Mindset coaching techniques to help her clients create a more empowered chapter as they navigate and fully embrace the wisdom of midlife. She is the Founder of Melissa McClain Coaching, a global 1:1 coaching platform.
Comments