Written by: Alina Machita, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
After being raised by a narcissist, you might have some weird behaviors you don’t understand. There’s a very good reason for this and a way to fix it, so it stops happening.
If you’re still in contact with your narcissistic parent, you feel like a frayed ball of nerves.
The problem is when you’re always under constant attack, you never have a chance to heal in between blows.
A narcissistic parent likes to keep you on your toes.
You’re always second-guessing yourself, and you don’t have a chance to make your own decisions.
Once you stop the cycle of narcissistic abuse, something very painful happens.
You start to heal.
Healing is not pleasant, but when you start to heal from narcissistic abuse, it’s brutal.
You outgrow narcissistic abuse, and you also emotionally outgrow your parents, siblings, and possibly all of your unhealthy relationships.
When you’ve been abused this way, it’s already left its mark on your life, and you can’t erase it, but you can fight back.
A narcissist will never develop the ability to win the internal battle, but you can.
After being raised by a narcissist, your struggle is with self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-worth.
When a parent narcissistically abuses you, you’re told every aspect and angle of you is bad, wrong, and shameful.
You’re never taught how to love and accept yourself.
You’re taught to hate yourself for being a normal, imperfect, flawed human being.
When you’re a narcissist child, you question every decision you make because you don’t trust yourself or your gut.
That’s a problem.
The only way to stop the insanity is to replace what you’ve been taught about yourself with the truth.
When you realize you didn’t have a normal childhood.
After being raised by a narcissist and fully understanding what that means, it turns your world upside down.
It changes everything you thought you knew about your life.
You go through phases of trying to disprove your mother or father is a narcissist because if it was something else, anything else, there might be some hope.
You hold on to this hope there might be some chance you’ll get them to see how they’ve hurt you, and then they’ll change their behavior.
This will never happen.
Their behavior will never change… never.
Rule number one is to stop going to them for emotional support.
When you decide, you feel liberated by it, and you stop seeking their approval.
You can’t change a narcissistic parent.
If he/she was going to change, don’t you think they’d have done it already?
How this healing process works is you change and evolve, and they don’t.
They stay the same, so when they continue to do the same things they’ve always done, stop being surprised.
Getting stuck in the past.
You start reliving the past, and sometimes it feels like you’re right back there, trapped and defenseless.
You must remind yourself you’re not defenseless as an adult.
It’s a terrible and sometimes paralyzing state to be in.
When you start practicing the power of now, it brings you back to the present.
It reminds you you’re not there anymore, and that’s not your life anymore.
We can’t keep going back there to torture ourselves.
That feeling of being helpless, hopeless, and trapped isn’t reality as an adult.
You have options; you have choices and a hell of lot more resources than a child.
A narcissist wants you to believe you’re too fragile, broken, and damaged to ever amount to anything.
When a narcissist has raised you, you’ve already survived decades of daily emotional, psychological, and many times physical abuse.
When you put a stop to the abuse, it gives you the space to heal.
Healing from narcissistic abuse is exhausting, and the first year is always the hardest.
A narcissistic parent will harass you and start doing even more crazy weird things stop this from happening because their biggest fear is losing control.
They’re afraid you might see them for who they really are.
They don’t want you to heal, and they don’t want you to get better.
When you stop seeking approval from anyone but yourself, your life will begin to change.
No need for approval equals no control.
What are your needs?
I’m not talking about the physical things like food, shelter, water, or clothing a narcissistic parent thinks you should be eternally grateful for.
Yes, thank you for the bare minimum basics I could’ve gotten at any orphanage across the country.
When you take a good look at yourself during this healing process, it takes a conscious effort to separate your wants and needs from what the narcissistic parent thinks your wants and needs should be.
Narcissistic abuse leaves a stronghold of control that remains even after going no contact.
It takes time to untangle yourself from that.
No one gets to tell you what to do or how to be anymore.
Do whatever you want as long as you own it. Great advice, right?
All this advice isn’t going to do you any good. The information you’re looking for is a little further down.
What’s the worst thing you can do to a narcissist?
Get to know yourself, take care of yourself, and live a better life without them.
Don’t worry, someday karma will show them how good you’re doing, and their life will still suck.
Deep down, narcissists know this too, and that’s why they work so hard and put in an extremely abnormal amount of effort to maintain control of their children and spouses.
If you need proof, start taking away the narcissist’s control and see how violently they react.
No one can throw a bigger temper tantrum than a narcissist who loses control of someone else’s mind.
Here’s what you don’t need in your life.
Judgment
Blame
Shame
To be insulted
To be ignored
To be rejected
To be ashamed
Toxic relationships
Abusive relationships
More pain
We need to stop the abuse, so we have time to recover.
A person has weird and awkward behaviors when they feel disconnected.
Every healing method you’ve tried hasn’t worked and isn’t able to fix this core issue.
When a narcissist raises you, you’re told your instincts are wrong, and what you’re feeling isn’t real.
They do everything they can to make you feel inferior and less than.
Anytime you show the real you, it was shamed, scolded, or frowned upon.
This kind of trauma is deep in the subconscious, and it controls everything. Reconnecting with yourself on a deeper level is the only way to stop these behaviors.
If you’re secure in who you are and own it, you won’t have these weird social issues around people anymore.
Here’s a list of techniques I’ve tried that actually work and solve the core issue and the root cause of what you’re experiencing.
It’s the only thing that works, and anything else you try will have temporary results, which is a complete waste of time, as in years, and money.
I know because I was just like you, out there looking for a piece of hay in a pile of hay. It’s just like that.
You need and deserve the newest, most groundbreaking information on how to heal from narcissistic abuse, and The Emotion Code is what you’re looking for.
Final thoughts…
When a narcissist raises you, it’s usually their way or nothing, and many times I chose nothing, and that’s what I got.
As an adult, I’m in charge, and I can take care of myself.
More than anything else, I want nothing from her.
She can keep her nothing.
Eventually, you realize you don’t need what you never had.
Nothing from her is everything to me.
Need support?
It’s tough trying to recover from this and straighten it out on your own.
I want you to know about The Emotion Code, and a personal session with an Emotion Code Practitioner was like ten years of traditional therapy in an hour.
Expect miracles! Book your free session today!
Alina MaChita, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Hi, I’m Alina. I’m an empath, a transformational healer and a Subconscious mind Specialist. I have an unshakable passion and gift to help women stop self-sabotage, unlock their subconscious mind, release trapped emotions and subconscious blocks, keeping them from living in love, accomplishments, and balance. Most of my work is done directly within your Subconscious Mind where your Power is; utilizing muscle testing is a way to communicate with the subconscious mind and sophisticated systems like Emotion and Body Code and Raising levels of consciousness, removing physical and emotional blocks and stored trapped imbalances that can keep you from abundance, creativity, emotional balance and lightness of being.
