How to Heal From a Narcissist
- Brainz Magazine
- Jan 26
- 7 min read
Written by Alicia Cadiz, Licensed Psychotherapist, LMHC
Alicia Cadiz is well-known when it comes to relationships and breakups. She is a Licensed Psychotherapist, CEO, and Founder of Healing With Alicia, a mental health counseling private practice. Alicia helps clients holistically connect the mind, body, and soul as one, most importantly, in a safe space where you can fully trust your therapist.
Healing from a narcissistic relationship is not just about moving on; it's about reclaiming your sense of self, rebuilding your inner world, and restoring balance to your mind, body, and soul. In this article, a Licensed Psychotherapist shares a holistic approach to recovery, exploring the emotional and psychological impact of narcissistic abuse, the importance of understanding attachment styles, and how therapeutic and spiritual practices can lead you toward wholeness and empowerment.
The aftermath of narcissistic abuse
Being in a relationship with a narcissistic partner can leave deep emotional, psychological, and spiritual scars. Narcissistic abuse often involves manipulation, emotional neglect, and gaslighting, creating an environment where the victim is left questioning their worth, identity, and reality. Healing from such a relationship is a complex and deeply personal process, requiring attention to the mind, body, and soul. As a licensed psychotherapist with a focus on holistic mental health approaches, I believe the most effective healing incorporates not only cognitive understanding but also emotional, physical, and spiritual growth.
Let’s take a look at Carl Jung’s exploration of the psyche, humanistic modalities to therapy, an emphasis on self-actualization, and the role of attachment styles. This article aims to provide insights into the holistic path to recovery after experiencing narcissistic abuse. Healing from a narcissistic partner is about reclaiming your sense of self, rebuilding trust as well as your intuition, and reconnecting with your deeper purpose in life.
Understanding narcissistic abuse: The psychological toll
Narcissistic abuse often involves emotional manipulation, gaslighting, and psychological control. Narcissists, often driven by their own insecurities, can undermine their partner’s self-esteem, leaving them feeling insignificant, unworthy, and confused. These relationships are marked by emotional neglect, where the narcissist is more focused on their own needs and desires, showing little regard for their partner's emotions.
Over time, this can lead to trauma bonding, where the victim becomes emotionally attached to the narcissist despite the abuse. The cycle of idealization and devaluation causes emotional turmoil and confusion, making it hard for the victim to leave or even recognize the abuse. As a result, individuals who have been in relationships with narcissistic partners often struggle with feelings of worthlessness, self-doubt, and loss of identity after the relationship ends.
The road to healing requires more than just understanding the abuse intellectually. It demands an integration of the mind, body, and soul, healing all parts of the self that have been harmed.
The mind: Rebuilding your identity and self-worth
Healing begins with the mind, understanding the emotional manipulation, and beginning the process of reclaiming your identity. Carl Jung's idea of the "False Self" is particularly relevant here. In many narcissistic relationships, the victim’s sense of self can become distorted and overtaken by the narcissist’s demands and criticisms. Over time, the victim may begin to lose sight of their true identity, becoming more focused on pleasing the narcissistic partner or fulfilling their needs.
To heal, it’s essential to reconnect with your authentic self, the person you were before the narcissist clouded your sense of reality. This is where the process of individuation, a central concept in Jungian therapy, becomes crucial. Individuation is the journey toward integrating all parts of the self, including those that were repressed or distorted in the relationship.
Steps for rebuilding your identity:
Recognize the manipulation: The first step is acknowledging that the narcissistic behavior was not your fault. It’s essential to accept that the manipulation, gaslighting, and emotional abuse were tactics of control. This allows you to distance yourself from any guilt or shame that may have been instilled in you during the relationship.
Reclaim your personal power: Begin to identify and set clear boundaries, both with yourself and others. Start listening to your own thoughts and feelings, rather than relying on the narcissist’s distorted perspective.
Therapy and self-reflection: Engaging in therapy, particularly humanistic therapy, can help you reconnect with your core values and authentic desires. Humanistic therapy encourages self-actualization, helping you uncover your full potential and rebuild your self-worth. Journaling, meditation, and mindfulness exercises can also help facilitate this self-reflection.
The body: Releasing the trauma physically
When it comes to healing from a narcissistic partner, the body holds onto trauma in profound ways. Chronic stress, anxiety, and emotional pain can manifest physically, leading to symptoms such as fatigue, insomnia, headaches, and digestive issues. According to research, trauma can even affect the brain's chemistry, influencing emotional regulation, memory, and self-perception.
As someone who takes a holistic approach to therapy, I believe that healing must also involve the body. Body-centered therapies like somatic experiencing, Pilates, and yoga are particularly helpful in releasing stored trauma and reconnecting with your body in a healthy, grounded way.
Steps for healing the body:
Mind-body awareness: Begin to notice how your body feels and what sensations arise when you think about your past relationship. Trauma can store itself in specific areas of the body, and simply being aware of these sensations can be the first step in releasing them.
Somatic practices: Techniques like somatic experiencing or EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) can help process and release trauma stored in the body. These therapies work by targeting the nervous system, which holds onto emotional stress, allowing for a more complete healing process.
Movement and breathwork: Engage in practices such as yoga, pilates or simply walking in nature to bring your body into a state of balance. These practices help release tension, increase mindfulness, and restore energy flow to parts of the body that may have become blocked or rigid due to trauma.
Self-care routines: Prioritize your physical health by focusing on nutrition, exercise, and sleep. Simple acts of self-care help rebuild the mind-body connection and restore balance.
The soul: Reconnecting with your higher purpose
The final piece of the healing journey lies in the soul, the deeper, spiritual aspect of who we are. Narcissistic abuse often leaves individuals feeling disconnected from their inner spirit, as the constant manipulation and control force them to suppress their true desires and needs. The process of healing from a narcissistic partner requires a spiritual awakening of sorts, a reconnection to the soul and the larger universe that supports us.
Carl Jung’s concept of the collective unconscious speaks to the idea that we are all part of a greater, shared energy that transcends our individual selves. This universal connection can be a powerful resource in healing, reminding us that we are not alone in our suffering. It also offers a sense of meaning and purpose that goes beyond the relationship, helping us reconnect with the larger spiritual framework of the universe.
Steps for healing the soul:
Cultivate spiritual practices: Engage in practices that help you connect with your higher self or the universe. Meditation, prayer, or simple acts of stillness can help you listen to your inner voice, separate from the narcissistic noise.
Reconnect with nature: Spending time in nature can be a deeply restorative experience for the soul. It offers a space to reflect, release emotions, and reconnect with the inherent flow of life.
Explore meaning: Begin to explore what gives your life meaning. What are your passions? What brings you joy and fulfillment? Reclaiming a sense of purpose is an essential part of healing from narcissistic abuse.
Attachment styles and their role in healing
Attachment theory, pioneered by John Bowlby, explains how our early relationships with caregivers influence how we form connections throughout life. Individuals who have experienced narcissistic abuse often struggle with attachment issues, particularly with avoidant or anxious attachment styles.
Anxious attachment: Those with an anxious attachment style may struggle with a fear of abandonment, leading them to stay in unhealthy relationships out of a desperate need for love and validation.
Avoidant attachment: Individuals with an avoidant attachment style may shut down emotionally or push people away when things get too close or intense, which is often the result of emotional neglect or abuse in early relationships.
Healing from narcissistic abuse often requires a deeper understanding of one’s attachment style and how it plays a role in relationship dynamics. Therapeutic work that explores and resolves attachment wounds, through trauma-informed care and attachment-based therapy, can help you develop a healthier approach to relationships moving forward. Understanding and working with your attachment style can help you cultivate secure attachments in future relationships and build trust in yourself and others.
A holistic path to healing and wholeness
Healing from a narcissistic partner is not an easy journey, but it is a deeply transformative one. By focusing on the mind, body, and soul, and understanding the role of attachment styles, you can reclaim your sense of self-worth, rebuild your identity, and reconnect with your deeper spiritual purpose. Using principles from Jungian therapy and humanistic psychology, you can embark on a path of self-actualization, empowering yourself to break free from the cycles of manipulation and emotional abuse.
Remember, healing is a process, and it is entirely possible to emerge from the darkness of a narcissistic relationship stronger, more aware, and more connected to your true self. By engaging in holistic therapies, addressing your attachment wounds, and reconnecting with your higher purpose, you will step into a new chapter of your life, one that is rooted in authenticity, love, and inner peace.
Read more from Alicia Cadiz
Alicia Cadiz, Licensed Psychotherapist, LMHC
Alicia Cadiz is a leader, breaking barriers, in the world of mental health. Alicia always knew she wanted to dedicate her life to holistically helping others reach their highest potential. She studied the work of Carl Jung at a young age and bases her therapeutic approach on his teachings. She explores every category of a client, mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual, as she helps uncover your shadows and unconscious self, bringing light and awareness to the parts of ourselves we want to hide. Energy does not lie and neither does the power of the universe.
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