How To Gain The End-Of-Life Perspective Before Life Ends?
Updated: Jan 30, 2024
Written by: Jola Pypno-Crapanzano, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
One of the most impactful experiences of my life was the service I used to provide as a young girl in the nursing home. I used to go there after school every week and spent time with the lonely elderly people who were often abandoned by their children. It was a very somber life lesson. These mothers, fathers, grandparents were waiting for me, like I was their family. I will never forget the joy I saw in their eyes when I accompanied them, chitchatting while sharing small meals. They were always trying to give me reasons and excuses why their kids and grandkids weren’t coming to visit them. They silently suffered and had a lot of regrets and very little hope for better.
“When your life flashes before your eyes at the end, make sure it's a good movie you're watching” – Stewart Stafford
So, at a very young age, I gained this awareness and desire of living my life in a way that I won’t have regrets at the end of my time. But the turning point happened much later when I came across a book “The top five regrets of the dying” by Bronnie Ware which was inspired by her work in palliative care. Here they are summarized:
I wish I'd had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me. People realize how many dreams have gone unfulfilled due to choices they had made.
I wish I hadn't worked so hard. Many people deeply regret spending so much of their lives working, missing their children growing up, and the companionship of their spouses.
I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings. People settle for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming.
I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying and regrets not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved
I wish that I had let myself be happier. Happiness is a choice, but many people don’t realize that their entire life.
There are many ways of gaining that end-of-life perspective before life ends. Here are in random order several ideas on how to live regret-free life that predict fulfillment at the end of it:
Choose the job that you love and that will teach you the most.
Spend as much time as possible with your kids when they are kids, they grow up so fast, you won’t ever get a second chance.
Avoid toxic people and those who are energy vampires.
Value the quiet moments, live in the present more without reminiscing the past and worrying about the future.
Don't compare yourself to others, compete only with yourself.
It is not too late and it’s not over until it’s over. No matter how many mistakes you’ve made in your life, you only must get it right once.
Tell people how you feel, don’t hide your true feelings, use the Ho’oponopono mantra: “I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you”.
Learn to celebrate your failures, it’s not about running the perfect race, it’s about getting across the finish line.
Maintain engagement with the world. Older people who are vital continue thinking about their future, the world, the current events, they read and keep learning.
Make your decisions based on your dreams and aspirations, and don’t try to please others – claim your life.
Don’t regret your mistakes, instead learn from them. There is no failure, there is only feedback.
Start pursuing your dreams today. Some day is the one day that never comes.
Don’t be afraid to do ridiculous things, silly things, funny things, and make sure you laugh a lot.
Be willing to surrender and trust, because sometimes is worth it to get rid of the life you’ve planned, to have the life that is waiting for you.
Don’t speak when you are angry because you can’t ever take back an angry word.
As they say, when one door closes, another one opens. Some regrets we just must live with, however, get out there and keep trying, because there might be something better for you.
Be afraid of being afraid, so you don’t have to have the biggest regret of all – regret that you didn’t try.
And finally, ask yourself: What's your greatest regret so far, and what will you change and try to achieve before you die? What would you do if you could start your life’s makeover today, what if someone handed you the life’s golden ticket?
We all have choices; we can go on and continue living our very busy lives the same we do now, or we can do things differently, pursue what’s on our mind for a while, but we keep postponing for later or abandoning completely. In fact, a life of no regrets can start right now.
I will finish with my favorite phrase:
“Live your life to the fullest every day, before you run out of time” –Jola Pypno-Crapanzano
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Jola Pypno-Crapanzano, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Jola Pypno-Crapanzano is a Certified High-Performance Coach™️, NLP and TLT®️ Practitioner, founder and CEO of Coaching Journey with Jola, two times International Bestselling Author of “One” - Your wellness guide to body, mind, and soul and “Stay home” – When you can’t go outside, what happens inside? She carries Masters Degree in Scientific-Technical Information from Silesian University in Poland. She has over 30 years of combined experience working with thousands of unique individuals and groups of people serving them in many different capacities. First, as a tour guide traveling worldwide (almost 70 countries visited so far) and translating into 4 languages, then working in the entertainment and hospitality industry as part of operational management in a large publicly traded company in NYC. Finally, coaching people initially as fitness, wellness, and lifestyle coach and most recently more holistically as Certified High-Performance Coach™️, NLP and Time Line Therapy®️ Practitioner. She also helps her clients with positive intelligence, specializing in strengthening their Mental Fitness and supporting them through various strategic interventions. Her mission is to help one million people live their lives to the fullest, reach heightened and sustained levels of clarity, energy, courage, productivity, and influence and show them that it is possible to live lives of their dreams, on their terms, without regrets, be fully engaged, joyful and confident and build an incredible lasting legacy.
