Written by: Emma Collyer, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Have you ever been in a meeting, and you can’t get the words out, or you leave having contributed nothing? I know I have… and this wasn’t because I had nothing to say. It was because I couldn’t find my voice and a way into the conversation.
Sometimes the meeting involved more senior people and so there was an aspect of intimidation by being there and a feeling that they won’t be interested in my views. But other times it was challenging to know how to add value to the conversation if those around the table were more knowledgeable and experienced around the topics being discussed.
For me this led to feelings of frustration, annoyance with myself and a general (unhelpful) thought, that I wasn’t doing a very good job at my role. It was a negative cycle which chipped away at my confidence and self-belief.
So how can we overcome this, to feel confident and credible in these groups? My top tips, based on my own experiences are below:
Plan and prepare your involvement. What do you need to do and learn in advance of being with the group? What do you want to say? How will you say it? Seeking out the agenda ahead of time and having a conversation with the meeting organizer, will help with this.
Ask someone in the group to create space for you to provide input. By voicing your challenge with your manager or a supportive colleague prior to the meeting, they may be able to create opportunities for you to share your thoughts. E.g., ‘Hey, I’m interested to hear what Emma thinks about this…’
Identify what you know more on than others and build credibility here (share insights, data, experiences, and views from clients/customers.) You are in the meeting for a reason, so demonstrate the niche you operate within.
Connect outside of the meeting with each member individually to understand how they operate, their priorities and any shared goals. This will help to break down barriers and remind them why you are around the table.
Observe what others are doing. How are they interacting with the group? Who dominates the group and who has ‘quiet authority’ – notice the different approaches and what you can learn from them.
Who has done this before you and can advise? There will be people more senior to you, who have been in your position and have found it difficult. What was their approach?
In the end, ‘finding your voice’ can be a challenging issue to conquer, but we can help to accelerate the process by taking some action and getting allies to support us. Being kind to ourselves when we are not confident in these spaces, can help to push us forwards and avoid the negative self-talk which often holds us back from being truly successful in these situations.
If you would like some support with your workplace challenges, please use this link to schedule a free confidential call.
Emma Collyer, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Emma Collyer is the founder of Aspire Executive Coaching, a company dedicated to helping executives, leaders and aspiring leaders, to grow and succeed in their business and careers. She created the business after experiencing firsthand the transformative power of coaching on her own development and growth. Her coaching draws on her own leadership experience, working across the built environment sector alongside environmental specialists, engineers, planners, project managers and architects. Her mission: to empower individuals so that they have the courage to embrace change and achieve exceptional results.
