How To Find Fulfillment In Your Life
- Jun 18, 2024
- 6 min read
Written by Penny McFarlane, Author & Holistic Therapist
Penny McFarlane is an ex-teacher, author, children’s therapist and holistic complementary medicine practitioner. With an MA in Professional Writing, a post grad diploma in Dramatherapy and registered qualifications in Yoga, Kinesiology, Reflexology and Reiki, she combines, through her books, the two things she loves best are writing and healing.
We’re nearly there, the high point of the year, midway through the summer, although we may be forgiven for wondering when it is actually going to start? Nature is reaching outwards and upwards to reach perfection and fulfilment, and, as with nature, we are at the peak of our expressive selves or are we? Now, apparently, is the time to find the hero inside and reach for goals hitherto unreachable before, unbelievable as it seems, the days grow shorter and the energy begins, with the sun, once again to wane.
Six signposts midsummer's strong energy affects you
1. Forgive yourself
The Summer Solstice is a season full of passion and feeling. There is a Pollyanna-like optimism about this time of year which can be both heartening and threatening. The Sun enters the zodiac sign of Cancer ruling compassion: the birth sign of sensitive, sometimes overly sensitive, souls. For those people who are too sensitive, too full of emotions, for whom the world often seems an insensitive place, this summer period can feel unstable and uncontrollable. If this is you, know that you are not alone and forgive yourself if you feel you need time away from the fever and frenzy around you.
2. Indulge yourself
However, if this isn’t you and you feel in tune with the high energy of the midsummer, indulge in activities which mirror its lightness and excesses.
Fill the house with strongly scented flowers so that you are greeted with their perfume every time you enter a room.
Indulge your voice. Singing used to be much more part of life than it is now. We have all got so out of practice that it feels embarrassing to hear our own voice doing anything other than speaking. Start by humming in the shower, allow yourself to laugh out loud, experiment with different sounds and pitches, allowing them to come from your heart and solar plexus, not just your throat. Watch your body resonating with the vibrations. There may be some surprising side effects once you free up the emotional and physical blocks and tensions.
Cultivate spontaneity. Everyday allow yourself to do just what you feel like for five or ten minutes. Take the time restrictions and ’shoulds’ out of your life and be yourself. Follow your heart and go where it leads you from moment to moment. You can always return to being sensible, grown up and boring again soon.
Perform at least one act of gratuitous kindness every day. Risk rejection. You will not come across it half as often as you fear.
3. Know yourself and what nourishes you
In Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) the season of midsummer is associated with the element of fire and the emotions of joy or depression as well as the organ of the small intestine and the triple warmer system of the body. To learn more about this, see my book Writing in Rhythm, available on my website.
In order to maintain peak performance, it is necessary for the body to be able to absorb and assimilate, both physically and emotionally, that which nourishes it. This is the job of the small intestine. Biologically, it separates and sorts the health-giving from the unhealthy, retaining only that which is needed for survival and thriving. Discernment and discrimination are paramount. The following exercise may be helpful here:
· Take a large sheet of paper, and, representing yourself at the centre by word or symbol, draw around you all those things: people, activities, places, food, objects etc. which nourish you, which give you energy or the ‘feel good’ factor. Then, in a different colour, write or draw those things which are still around you but which do not nourish you. Go with your first, instinctive feeling. Be discerning.
4. Know yourself and your responses
Triple warmer as a system is, according to Traditional Chinese Medicine, associated with the fight or flight response of the body. In times of perceived threat, it pumps adrenaline to meet the emergency or ignites fevers and infections to fight disease. In keeping with the season its essence is warmth. It distributes heat throughout the body on demand: flushing the face, neck and arms with blood when angry and ready to fight or, draining the upper part of the body and leaving it pale, it pumps blood into the legs ready for flight. At this time of year, we expect the ‘hero inside’ to be proactive but we do not want him to be overly reactive. As a society we seem to be increasingly reactive, on a ‘fight or flight’ response treadmill. Our triple warmer protected our ancestors against wild animals but now that none exist, are we creating our own? What produces that ‘fight or flight’ response in you? Can you make a list of your own wild animals?
5. Calm yourself
Panic can be the overriding emotion at this time of year when Nature itself seems to be going wild. The following are techniques and exercises designed to reduce this feeling of panic or hysteria which may arise when our busy lifestyles present us with ‘too much to do’.
As we have seen, triple warmer is the body’s system responsible for our ‘flight or fight’ response and when this gets out of control, that is how we feel. Kinesiology offers us ways of sedating our triple warmer so that our body no longer overreacts to the perceived threat and we can regain our equilibrium.
Starting at the outside of the little finger of the left hand, run the fingers of your right hand gently up the back of your left arm, around the back of your upper shoulder, up the back of your neck and head and finish by circling the ear, coming off at the eye. The triple warmer meridian normally runs the other way; by tracing backwards we are sedating it. Do this, six or seven times and then repeat on the other side.
Alternate nostril breathing is a useful technique to calm rising anxiety. With your right forefinger block your right nostril and breathe in slowly to the count of four through your left. Then block the left nostril, and breathe out through the right. Keep the left nostril blocked and breathe in through the right. Block the right and breathe out through the left and so on. This aligns both sides of the brain and quickly relieves tension.
6. Observe yourself
This peak of the season when nature is rampant and energy high may fill you either with elation or despair. If life is flowing freely for you, you may feel empowered at this time to grasp it with both hands and fulfil your dreams. If, on the other hand, as is so with most of us, obstacles are still presenting themselves, it may be more a case of looking at ways in which you can overcome the obstacles and find some smaller measure of fulfilment in your life. If everyone else is enjoying themselves and you find it hard to do so, it is easy to slip into summertime depression. The best way to overcome this is to register your emotional reaction and then take small steps to build on positive reinforcement.
Practice becoming the observer of your thoughts and feelings. The next time you experience a negative emotion, allow it to be the way it is, breathe deeply, register where it is affecting your body, and then ask yourself, ‘What thought did that come from?’ With practice, you will be able to trace the knock-on effect of feeling from thought, which is the first step towards being unattached and therefore not in ’knee jerk’ reaction mode to feelings.
So, however you are right now, whether you are perfectly aligned with the dance of delight which epitomises high summer or whether you are using this time to grow inwardly, celebrate: celebrate the life which flows through you, the fact that you are still alive, right here, right now.
Read more from Penny McFarlane
Penny McFarlane, Author & Holistic Therapist
Penny McFarlane is an ex-teacher, author, children’s therapist and holistic complementary medicine practitioner. With an MA in Professional Writing, a post grad diploma in Dramatherapy and registered qualifications in Yoga, Kinesiology, Reflexology and Reiki, she combines, through her books, the two things she loves best are writing and healing. A lifetime’s interest in the mystical and magical has led her to exploring potential: what we were, what we are and what we are capable of being. Her books reflect her mission: to reconnect people to their innermost selves; to finding peace and potential to dance on the softened edges of life.
