Written by: Paty Valero, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
How many years must pass or how many New Year's Eve resolutions do you have to break to try something different?
Another year is ending and, unfortunately, a lot of people are still in the same situation that they were a year ago hoping that this year’s intentions get manifested magically just by writing them down on a piece of paper. Let me ask you something: what happened with last year’s list of intentions? Do you even know where it is? Have all the things you wanted to achieve happened?
Throughout my life, I have observed too many people living a life that does not fulfill them or make them happy but for some reason, they remain trapped in that loop. People who have forgotten how to listen to their inner voice that knows what is best for them and who are subject to the control of other voices (insecurity, fear...). The voices that have taken absolute control of their lives.
The main problem we have is that we hope to change our lives completely (find love, succeed at work, be healthy...) without doing the corresponding internal work. We expect that just by writing down a list, things will change. Don’t get me wrong… I love a list of intentions and I think they play an important role when wanting to achieve a goal. They allow you to have clarity and to be focused in the right direction. What everyone is missing is the next step and this is precisely what I teach my clients.
The secret ingredient to finally creating the life you’ve always dreamed of.
If you have had the opportunity to read what my clients say, you will see radical life changes. The secret ingredient that has made it possible for them to transform their reality is to change their interior so that this change can be reflected in their exterior.
This is a skill that I learned many years ago and that, once learned, can be applied to all areas of life. The most important part of being able to do this is to acknowledge and accept that whatever happens to you is your responsibility. I’m not saying you are not going to suffer any negative situations, that is incorrect, life comes with ups and downs. What I’m saying is you can choose how to react to your situation, and you can choose to become wounded or wise because of a difficult moment.
One of the main issues people have when they want to be consistent and start changing is that they can’t get out of their role of being a victim of their environment. Their environment is choosing the plot. What happens and how it happens is completely out of their control. Let me explain this to you in another way.
When you are having a nightmare and something bad is about to happen to you, you experience the dream as if it were real because you’re asleep and completely forget that you’re dreaming. You are a victim of your environment, and you suffer whatever your “environment” (in this case what is happening in your dream) chooses that you suffer. Now, here’s the key to what I’m trying to teach you: have you ever been dreaming and noticed that you are in a dream? When this happens, even if it’s not very common, the person dreaming can alter what happens in the dream. This is called a Lucid Dream. In that moment, the person wakes up and becomes the creator of the dream.
This is what is happening to you in your real life. You are being pushed around by your environment (negativity, problems, issues…) and you’ve lost control of your actions, being completely immersed in your environment as if you were sleeping. How can you know if this is your case? When you are a victim of your environment you believe “everything happens to you” “life is so unfair” and “there is nothing you can do to change things”. You are trapped in your nightmare. And you will be thinking, okay, great, how do I wake up? The only way to wake up from your nightmare is to acknowledge that you are responsible for what you create.
Your reality is created by your personality and your personality is formed by your thoughts, that make you feel certain emotions, that make you behave in a certain way. So, if you want to change your reality you have to change your personality. When you accept this, you are finally ready to wake up and accept that your behaviours make you stay in the same places or make you move to different places. It’s not about deleting negative and difficult experiences from your life (that is impossible), it's about being bigger than those experiences and choosing to be awake and behave in the best possible way for your benefit.
If you want different results, you must try different approaches.
I want you to ask yourself two questions:
Am I in a different place than I was one year ago?
Will I do something different this year to finally change?
Take responsibility for what happens to you. It’s the only way to start creating a different life. If you’re going to trust someone with your life, may that person be yourself, the only person you can trust that wants what is best for you. When you trust your environment to change your life for you, you are only choosing to be a victim of your environment and let “whatever happens” decide what happens to you.
After having done more than 600 hours of coaching I have been able to create a method that works. One that is entirely focused on creating a strong foundation by working on the relationship you have with yourself to take responsibility and start making the changes that you have been wanting to make for years.
If you’re interested in knowing how to do this check out my affordable coaching programs or send me a message on my Instagram and I will show you how to do this step by step.
Paty Valero, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Paty Valero, is a leader in generating self-love, shifting people’s mindset from being a victim to becoming a creator and improving relationships. A childhood trauma left her with learning challenges, Paty was forced to create strategies to dramatically change her self-concept and life to be able to live a purposeful life. She has since dedicated her life to helping others unleash their true potential and awaken their inner strength. She is spreading a positive and empowering outlook on life that has not only helped her private clients but also her online community with her online coaching programs. Her mission: awakening people’s hearts to start living the life they deserve.
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