Written by: Linda Evans, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Advice is abundant, whether solicited or not. Life can be difficult and complicated. We are social creatures who seek emotional support, wisdom, and practical advice from others. But how do we know what is worth applying to our life and what should be cast aside? Well, that depends on many factors because the quality and value of the advice probably indicates more about the advice giver than the advice receiver.
Whenever we receive advice for an important decision - especially conflicting advice from multiple people - we should ask ourselves these questions.
MOTIVE
Why is this person telling me this?
Are they genuinely concerned about me?
Are they just venting about a personal frustration or regret?
Do they have my best interest at heart?
Are they trying to change me for their own benefit?
What does this person have to gain if I apply their advice?
Do we have a strong relationship of trust and honesty?
Get to the heart of the person’s reason(s) for giving you advice. If they care more about benefiting themself than helping you make the best choices, it may be better to thank them for their input but not apply their advice.
PERSONALIZATION
How well does this person know my personality/strengths/interests/values?
Does this person know my lifestyle?
How well does this person know my current circumstances?
Did this person listen carefully to my dilemma?
Can this person empathize with my situation?
How much do I agree with this person’s values and beliefs?
The best advice is tailored to the receiver and based on a relationship of trust. What may work well for one person may hurt someone else. Empathy from the advice-giver is paramount. If they are giving general advice or advice that is very specific to themself without understanding your unique traits and preferences, express appreciation but leave their advice behind.
BIASES
From what core beliefs is this person speaking? Do I agree with them?
Is this person aware of opposing views than the one(s) they’re proposing?
How rational and objective of a thinker is this person? Do they usually make logical sense?
Does this person balance using their brain as well as their heart?
What blind spot(s) are this person pointing out to me?
Am I just looking for someone to confirm what I already believe?
Am I honestly considering this person’s advice with an open mind?
Do I admire this person’s character?
Do I respect this person’s opinion(s) even if I don’t agree with them?
Human thinking is prone to numerous fallacies in logic. Many people prefer to selectively collect information that supports their opinions rather than seek out objective truths. It is perfectly natural to have biases, but use your critical thinking to figure out if you, as well as the other person, have considered all relevant facts and options before applying their advice.
PROOF
Has this person applied their own advice successfully?
Do they generally make well thought-out decisions in their life?
Has this person given similar advice to others? Did things turn out well?
How do their friends and family generally respond to their advice?
How many times have I applied this person’s advice in the past? Have they yielded positive results?
What is the most likely outcome if I were to apply this person’s advice?
To maximize the likelihood of your success, you will want to assess the track record of the other person and their advice. Maybe it sounds better in theory than it will work in reality. Maybe it sounds simple but will prove challenging to implement. If their advice is generally well-received and effectively applied, you will be able to take their advice with confidence and peace of mind.
CONTEXT
Would this person’s advice work for my current stage of life?
Would this person’s advice work for my current location and setting?
Would this person’s advice work for my gender/race/religion/etc.?
Would this person’s advice be better suited to sometime in the past or the future instead?
Great advice has to be appropriate for the person, time, and place. Perhaps their advice has come too late or would be better saved for a future time. Perhaps it worked well in their country/state/city but will likely fail in yours. That does not mean it is bad advice, just that it is probably ill-suited advice for you.
We have all received and applied bad advice, but hopefully this list of questions will help you filter out advice that will not be useful or beneficial to you. You can even rephrase these questions to prevent yourself from giving bad advice!
Linda Evans, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Linda Evans is a strengths-based career coach and personal branding expert. In 2011, she founded her virtual career coaching business, Launched by Linda, LLC. Her full-time career has been in higher education since 2012, and she currently works in Career Services at Trinity University in San Antonio, Texas. Linda has a B.A. in American Studies and a minor in Ballroom Dance from Brigham Young University, and an M.A. in Psychological Counseling from Columbia University. She is also a Gallup-Certified Strengths Coach and has certificates in positive psychology and public speaking.
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