Written by: Dolores Andrew, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Have you ever felt on the outside of your life looking in, feeling powerless with no control over what happens?
When you don’t have your hands firmly on the steering wheel directing your life, you can feel like a mere passenger. Learning to embrace and stand in your personal power will change the trajectory of your life.
What Does Your Personal Power Look Like?
When you are standing in your personal power you are not powering over another to get your needs met, nor are you allowing someone else power over you
You do this in an emotionally mindful way, not allowing someone else dictate what you should do. While you actively listen to others, you make decisions in alignment with your own values.
We are all unique in how we are made up but, the general principles of standing in your power remain the same for everyone.
How Your Beliefs around Your Personal Power were Formed?
Your beliefs start to form from the moment you are born. As a baby you cried to have your basic needs met, it’s instinctual and necessary for survival. As you grew into a toddler, you started to see the world around you and began interacting with it. You started to form relationships with others.
Your perceptions of the experiences at these early developmental stages formed your beliefs around life, including your personal power. Your beliefs became your truth and the story you tell yourself. Your actions in your life are fuelled from these beliefs.
How you react when those beliefs are triggered is key to understanding them.
Here are two ways you can find yourself reacting to triggers.
1. You can fall into victim mode, believing you are a victim to your circumstances.
Here is what victim mode looks like:
If you believe you have no power, you can fall into victim mode whenever something triggers your personal power story. You will blame others for the way your life is and your story may sound like;
Everyone walks over me,
Nobody listens to me,
Nothing ever works out for me
Unconsciously you are giving your power away to the “others” you believe are responsible for taking your power from you.
2. You can fall into the energy of selling your soul to get what you want.
Here is what selling your soul looks like
You may want something so badly for yourself that you will do anything to get it, even if it means going against everything you believe in. It may be that you care more for the outcome than how that outcome makes you feel. You may want the prestige and title of a particular job rather than one that ignites your passion. Perhaps you want the man or woman because of who they are rather than having a partner whose values are aligned with yours.
You will do anything to get to the end goal despite the result it brings.
If you sell your soul to get what you want in life, you are giving your power away to someone else.
2 Ways to Take Your Power Back
Form Personal Boundaries
People who have a good relationship with their personal power always have good boundaries in place.
Your boundaries dictate how you allow others to treat you. You can develop your “non negotiables” and state these clearly to others, around what you will and will not accept from them. It could be a non-negotiable with a partner or child as to how you allow them to speak to you and letting them know the consequences of not respecting your boundary.
Your boundary may say; “I will not allow you to speak to me like that again, if you do, then this is what will happen”.
Relationship dynamics work best when each party knows what is expected from them.
Look at how power was dealt with in your family
How power was dealt with in your family growing up has an enormous impact on how you perceive your own power.
Some questions to ask yourself to explore what your story is around your personal power.
How did you perceive power when you were growing up?
How was your relationship with your parents or caregivers?
What beliefs did you form from the stories you perceived?
How do you react when you feel like someone is attacking your power?
Do you feel like your boundaries are being torn apart?
Do you feel like you have any boundaries?
Did your father or mother exert no power leaving you with an indifferent sense of your sense of power?
When you look at the answers you give to these questions, don’t attach blame or guilt, remember it is how you perceived your circumstances. Your perceptions and beliefs were formed from the knowledge you had when they were made.
As you start to unravel the old beliefs that are limiting you, you can replace them with beliefs that are in alignment with what you want from your life.
If you liked this article you can find out more about the work I do as a Holistic Life Coach and Corporate Wellness Trainer on my website.
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Dolores Andrew, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Dolores Andrew is an All-Star Accredited Lifestyle Leader in Holistic Life Coaching. Her personal coaching sessions and Corporate Training programmes are tailored to her client’s unique requirements. Dolores’ expertise supports people to break through their personal barriers and reach their full potential, whatever that means to them. She supports them to reassess their values, effectively navigate their emotions and live their lives aligned with their authentic selves.
