Written by: Jen Barnes, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
I am a therapist and you’re likely a nurse, but if you’re reading this, we have at least one thing in common: We feel the weight of the past two years and don't know how to get out from under it without quitting our jobs or leaving a career we worked so hard to achieve. Worse yet, it feels like the system we're in — the U.S. healthcare system — doesn't care or isn’t doing enough.
We can only change ourselves and how we show up in the world, so I'm here to share some ways you can help yourself feel good again — and maybe even regain your love of nursing. Maybe you…
Collapse on the couch after shifts with no energy for anything except bringing on Netflix and scrolling through social media
Know you need to exercise, sleep and eat well, but you just can't get yourself to doit
A retired of people telling me to "just do more yoga"
Forgot what it feels like to have fun
Have stopped caring about patients like you did before
Feel stuck in a job that you used to love In other words, you’re burned out.
And maybe you've tried…
Increasing your self-care
Sleeping more
Venting to other nurses, your partner, and/or friends
Complaining about the messed-up system
Leaving your job but found nothing really changed
Here’s the thing… (This is, perhaps, a tough truth, but it’s a necessary one.) The problem isn't that you're exhausted, losing compassion and empathy, or hate your job. It’s not even the broken healthcare system, which is a problem but is out of your control and not likely to be fixed any time soon.
The problem is a belief. It’s a deep-seated belief you likely hold that as a nurse, as a true caretaker, you need to put everyone else first before you and your own needs — and the system you work in is taking advantage of that belief.
The truth is…
You are not responsible for everyone and everything.
The more you work extra shifts and the more you accept too many responsibilities, the longer it will take your organization to see the need for change.
Your organization — not you —is responsible for appropriate staffing, treating nurses well, and optimizing patient outcomes as a whole.
Hospital administrations consider documented metrics when making decisions. For example, if their data shows that all nursing shifts are covered, they will likely assume staffing is fine. So, when you take on too many extra shifts thinking it will help patients in the short term, it can actually exacerbate the problem in the long term for both you and your patients.
You can only do what you can do in the system you're in. The situation you are in is not your fault. It is this unhealthy belief about putting yourself last that isn't working. For things to change — for you to feel better and perhaps even for hospitals to make changes — you need to try something different. It’s time to release false beliefs and get unstuck, free your heart, mind, and body, and build resilience. Before you can do that, you need to do the first crucial step in burnout recovery (AKA recovering from chronic stress) You need to release the stress that is stuck in your body. That’s the piece I can help you with today. I’m about to share with you the most crucial first step in recovering from chronic stress.
Here’s what most people do
Most people numb out on the couch, binge Netflix, scroll social media, and perhaps drink wine, OR they get like one massage a month and take the occasional bubble bath and expect to feel better.
Here’s what happens when you do that.
First of all, while not “bad,” those things often only help you feel better for a few hours or days -maybe only while you’re doing them. And then you’ll likely feel frustrated or even shame that nothing you do helps deal with the stress you face ‒ that nothing will help you feel better. That’s because there are actually four essential steps to recovering from chronic stress and building resilience so you can keep feeling better.
Today I’m going to give you that first crucial step to help you get started. Without doing this first step, nothing else you do will work.
So let’s dig in!
As I said, I’m about to give you the crucial first step for recovering from chronic stress and burnout right now. I’m going to give you the first step and this alone will help you release stuck stress from the body so you can feel better. The biggest mistake people make is choosing recovery activities that are either one-time, short-term fixes ‒ like that one massage ‒ or things that don’t actually replenish your energy, like numbing out on the couch. So then you never really get to feeling better, at least not for more than a few hours or a couple of days. There are four essential steps to helping you feel better, but this first step is crucial and must be done first for anything else you do to work. So let’s dive into this first step, all about how to release stuck stress from your body.
What does it mean to release stuck stress from the body?
As a brief A&P review, when our fight or flight response is triggered (sympathetic nervous system), adrenaline, noradrenaline, and cortisol flood our system to give us what we need to protect ourselves — to fight or flee. The thing is, often, we aren't actually fighting or fleeing, so the stress response is incomplete; that excess energy gets stuck in the body. This is part of why you feel so awful right now. The good news is that there are simple ways to complete the stress response and release that energy, so you feel good again. The most effective way to complete stress response is … MOVEMENT! Since the purpose of the flood of adrenaline, noradrenaline, and cortisol is to fight or flee — to move — movement is the most effective way to resolve the incomplete stress response and release stuck energy. It is essential to get in at least30 minutes of movement per day to prevent the build-up of stress in the body. These 30 minutes are over and above movement done at work. Movement could mean going for a walk or run, dancing in your kitchen, taking a Zumba or barre class, doing strength training, riding a bike, or even catching up on yard work.
There are Six Activities to ReleaseThe Stress Response
It is essential to move your body or do at least one of the following six activities each day to support the completion of the stress response and release of stuck stress from your body.
Breathe with intention
We’ve all heard this one before, but the reason we have is that breathing works. Try taking a slow breath in and a long breathe the way out until your abdominal muscles contract. Repeat this two more times and notice how you feel. Another breathing practice involves movement with the breath, called Volcano Breathing. You can access a video of this practice here.
Note: If you have a history of complex trauma, one alternative option for working with the breath is to simply invite the breath in and notice it. No need to try to change or control the breath; just invite yourself to notice it.
Positive Social Interaction
As humans, we are wired to connect. When we are around other humans, particularly those with whom we feel safe — especially when they are relatively calm — we can co-regulate with them. That is, if they are calm, we can feel calm just by being around them. Whether it’s your kids, your pet, your partner, your parents, coworkers, or a local barista, strive to have daily positive social interaction —in person, not just online or texting — to complete the stress response and calm your body.
Laughter
Uncontrollable, ridiculous, full-bellied laughter (no fake laughter here) is one of the best stress relievers. Even reminiscing with someone about a time you laughed like that has a positive physical and psychological impact. Laughter is a great, fun way to complete the stress response and regulate your body.
A Warm hug in a safe and trusting relationship
Hugs are the best! This is what I call a decent hug: A 20-second-plus, no-holds-barred hug where you are both leaning into each other and breathing together. The oxytocin released will help calm your body while completing the stress response.
A big cry
Ever notice how much better you feel after a big cry? Especially if you pay attention to the crying itself versus thinking about things or focusing on the stress. It seriously works. If you’re not sure how to get started, consider free-association writing about whatever comes up. Your feelings will emerge and you will find yourself shedding healing tears.
Creative expression
Do something, anything, to express yourself creatively. This could be writing, drawing, singing, playing an instrument, painting, crafting, dancing, acting, woodworking, and more. When we give our creativity an outlet, it helps complete the stress response and allows positive emotions and energy to flow
The Bottom Line …
Releasing stuck stress by completing the stress response is very powerful when it is done correctly and daily. You’re actually rebooting your body through your nervous system every day. And this will help you feel better as you keep doing it over time.
Okay, so now you know the first step in building resilience so you can feel better. But the problem is, there are still three more steps. Without them, you will still feel better each day, but your stress will continue to build up day after day, requiring you to work harder and hard to keep releasing the stress, so it doesn’t get stuck. Over time, it will be harder and harder to do that.
This is why I created a free 20-minute video training for you to watch right now. Click the link here and watch this training to learn the next three steps.
Jen Barnes, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Jen Barnes is a Licensed Independent Clinical Social Worker in private practice in Minneapolis, MN. She specializes in complex trauma, PTSD, stress, and grief. The daughter and sister of nurses, she has a passion for empowering nurses to build resilience. She has worked with nurses 1:1 hoping to expand her reaching to a broader audience. In 2021 she completed the Dare to Lead certificate program in order to more effectively address organizational challenges in healthcare. Most recently, she spoke at the American Association of Critical Care Nurses’s 2022 NTI conference on Building Resilience in Nursing.
