Bronwen Sciortino is an International Author and Simplicity Expert who spent almost two decades as an award-winning executive before experiencing a life-changing event that forced her to stop and ask the question, ‘What if there’s a better way to live?
Something’s been nagging at you. There’s a quiet voice trying to be heard, but you’ve diligently pushed it down so you can’t hear it when meetings drag on, when the emails pile up, when you lie awake staring at the ceiling, wondering where things are going wrong.
You’ve worked hard, ticked all the boxes, and built a life that looks good from the outside. But inside, something isn’t sitting right. Have you outgrown your goals? Are you doing the right things? Are you falling behind? Why does everyone else seem to have it all under control?
Ignoring the voice doesn’t make the feeling of unease go away; if anything, ignoring it makes the feeling grow stronger.
The way forward is to listen to question the rules you’ve been following and decide whether the way that you’re living is really serving you.
But that’s scary! Why? Because turning the focus on yourself and asking tough questions means you might have to admit that parts of your life might not be what you want. And if you admit that, what then? Do you have to throw everything away and start again? And if you do that, who will you disappoint in the process?
The hardest part isn’t making change
Getting the life you want isn’t about burning your life to the ground. Rather, it’s about choosing what stays and what goes so you get to enjoy every day. You don’t have to reject everything to build something better; you simply start by getting honest about what’s working for you and what isn’t.
The hardest part isn’t making a change; it’s admitting that change needs to happen. Once you do that, doors start opening, options appear, and suddenly, life doesn’t feel like it’s a list of obligations; it becomes something you create on your terms.
But first, you have to let that voice have its say because it’s been telling you the truth all along.
How to decide what it is you want
When you’ve spent years, sometimes decades, following the directions and rules of others, it can be hard to know what’s important to you. That can make it difficult to start the process of working out what works best for you and how to take steps forward in a new way.
14 ways to clarify what you want and live on your terms
1. Notice what drains you
If something drains you, it’s a sign. Pay attention to the tasks, conversations, and routines that leave you feeling empty. Is it your job? Your schedule? Certain people? The things that drain your energy are often an indication of the things you need less of in your life.
2. Ignite your curiosity
Leave passion and purpose aside for a moment and focus on curiosity. What do you keep coming back to? What do you read about when no one’s watching? What sparks something inside you? The things that grab your attention matter. Don’t ignore them.
3. Stop asking for permission
Many people don’t know what they want because they’re waiting for approval from parents, bosses, society and the list goes on. The truth? You don’t need permission. You just need to trust that your life is yours to shape.
4. Spend time alone
If you don’t step away from the noise, you’ll never hear yourself think. Turn off the screens, take a walk, sit in silence, and allow yourself to get bored. When you stop filling every moment, you allow time and space for your real thoughts to come through.
5. Test small changes
You don’t need to make a big leap. Try small shifts, take a different route to work, say no to a meeting, and work from a coffee shop instead of the office. Tiny changes help you see new options.
6. Ask ‘What would I do if I didn’t have to be successful?’
Imagine your life staying exactly the same. Same job, same routine, same everything. If that thought makes you sick, that’s your answer. Something needs to shift. Now.
7. Revisit childhood clues
Before life told you who to be, you had natural interests. What did you love as a kid? What fascinated you? What did you do for fun without being told? Those early sparks still hold truth.
8. Notice what frustrates you
What problems make you mad? What makes you want to fix things? What are the things you complain about? Sometimes, what you want isn’t just about joy; it’s about what you can’t stand. Pay attention to the things that light a fire in you.
9. Get honest about what’s not working
You can only ignore the signs and push down your happiness for so long. Stop. Face it. What isn’t working in your life right now? Be brutally honest. The answers will show you where change is needed.
10. Define success for yourself
Forget what other people have told you. What does success look like for you? Not what would impress others, or what others would say is ‘reasonable’. What would make you feel truly fulfilled? Answering this changes everything.
11. Drop the ‘One Big Purpose’ myth
You don’t need a grand purpose. You need to find what feels right, right now. Let go of the pressure to find ‘the one thing.’ Life doesn’t work that way.
12. Do more of what feels like play
Work doesn’t have to be misery. Think about the tasks that feel effortless, the things you could do for hours. There’s a reason those things come easily to you. Pay attention.
13. Stop playing it safe
If you only make ‘smart’ choices, you’ll never know what’s possible. Safe isn’t the same as happy. You don’t have to risk everything, but it can be liberating to take a step into the unknown.
14. Make a move, any move
You don’t figure things out by thinking; you figure them out by doing. Pick one thing that interests you. Try it. See how it feels. Adjust. Repeat. That’s how you find your way.
Break free from the noise and focus on what matters
The pressure to meet expectations can rob you of the most valuable resource you have: Your time. It’s easy to get swept up in what you ‘should’ be doing, especially when everyone around you seems to have it all figured out. But when you let these outside pressures dictate your life, you lose sight of what’s truly important to you.
Instead of focusing on what others expect, focus on what you actually want. To get there, you need to start eliminating hidden time wasters. These are the things that suck up your energy without giving you anything in return.
Whether it’s endless meetings that lead nowhere, checking social media out of habit, or responding to emails as soon as they arrive, these small distractions add up. Every time you give in, you’re losing time that could be spent on what actually matters to you.
Start by taking control of your daily routine. Stop reacting to the needs of others and start setting the agenda for your own day. Block off time for what moves you toward your goals, and make sure you protect that time like it’s precious because it is.
The more you reclaim your day, the less overwhelmed you’ll feel. The more you create space for what matters to you, the closer you’ll get to the life you actually want.
The power to change is already in your hands. Now, it’s time to take action.
Bronwen Sciortino is a Simplicity Expert, Professional Speaker, and an internationally renowned author. You can follow her on her website, Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn.
Bronwen Sciortino, International Author & Simplicity Expert
Bronwen Sciortino is an International Author and Simplicity Expert who spent almost two decades as an award-winning executive before experiencing a life-changing event that forced her to stop and ask the question, ‘What if there’s a better way to live?’ Embarking on a journey to answer this question, Bronwen developed a whole new way of living, one that teaches you to challenge the status quo and include the power of questions in everyday life. Gaining international critical acclaim and 5-star awards for her books and online programs,
Bronwen spends every day teaching people that there is an easy, practical, and simple pathway to creating a healthy, happy, and highly successful life. Sourced globally for media comment as an expert and working with corporate programs, conference platforms, retreats, professional mentoring and in the online environment, Bronwen teaches people how easy it is to live life very differently.
