Written by: Belynder Walia, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
One of my mantras in life is, 'I trust myself and am following my intuition.'
Science has worked on the existence and functioning of our three brains (head, heart, and gut) for some years now. According to a study published in SAGE Journals, there are complex neural networks in all three areas. But understanding how to balance them for our best results is at the leading edge of this field. I call my system 3BE – the Three Brain Equilibrium.
I believe I am intuitive. I think we all are. Think about all the times when you’ve described feeling butterflies in your stomach or knots in your gut. You might have felt that way if you had to perform on a stage for an audience. If you were preparing to share a video on a social media platform, speak in public or just when you had to say something important or difficult to a single individual. Perhaps even when you fell in love.
Those sensations are unforgettable. Did you feel an unfamiliar agitation that you couldn’t make sense of? This emotion responds to the neural pathways in all three brains, which constantly send messages to each other. The three brains work in union and your intelligence increases three-fold as you meld EQ (Emotional intelligence Quotient) and instinct to your pure intellect.
Each brain consists of neurons; these are magnificently intelligent electrically charged cells. They send and receive information through electrical and chemical signals to your brains. And each brain has its own nervous system, which plays a central role in nearly every aspect of our health and well-being.
Over the years, I learned that listening to all three brains is vital in effective neural systems.
Our three brains help us to make informed decisions, avoid difficult circumstances and navigate meaningful intentions. But many people don’t know how to align themselves and use their three brains in harmony or equilibrium to dramatically improve their results and increase the speed with which they can make the right decisions consistently.
How can you align all three brains?
The ability to use our three brains both independently and together links into the three character traits that you can adopt that will help you find equilibrium:
1. Have an open mind.
Using the encephalic or Head-brain helps us to make analytical decisions (cognitive intelligence). It helps us to perceive, process, master, and think. Human cognition is all about making sense of the world and deciphering the meaning, and establishing descriptions and philosophies about ourselves, others, and the world around us. Only once we comprehend what is in our head-brain can we articulate and use the knowledge of understanding that situation presented to us through a display of language or creativity.
To help you recognize how we might use this, I want to share an example with you. On one occasion, I was implementing a new project, and I had to shortlist several candidates for an internship. The problem arose when they were all excellent, and it became complicated to choose between them.
I had to be logical and analytical to figure out what would work for me and the project. What skills the candidate I chose would bring to the organization. This narrowed down the problem I was having because, had I been led by my emotions alone, it would have been impossible for me to choose. I like to help as many people as possible so I would’ve loved to allow them all to work with me. And had I followed only my gut feeling, that candidate may not have had the required skills. So the solution was to see what benefited the company, not just the individual hopefuls. I had to analyse and use internal language that helped me to think, understand my feelings, take account of my intuitive choices and then decide who would be the best fit.
2. Practice empathy.
The Intrinsic Cardiac Nervous System or the Heart-brain (emotional intelligence) is the area that carries feelings. Inherently, we know that the heart is the place that processes deep sensitivity. I’m a very empathetic person. Sometimes this can get the better of me, but I remind myself that empathy is not sympathy.
The Heart-brain is where most of us carry our values, along with the processing of emotions. Heart-based language centers on what we feel. Having empathy is about understanding others and seeing how this might affect their participation. I may not always agree with how others see things, but understanding and appreciating what they are going through can quickly drive the correct outcome.
I’m sometimes contacted by people who say they can’t afford therapy but they do desperately need support. Whether it is for a client or a referred patient, treatment is about impact and change. A person should be able to invest in their health, and sometimes they’re not honest with themselves in saying they cannot afford it.
I had a client who’d had expensive rhinoplasty (a nose job) and who spoke about her concerns that she could not afford therapy. She was experiencing psychological issues regarding her self-worth. We discussed how she had been able to invest many thousands in trying to look good. She believed this would increase her self-worth, but of course, it hadn’t worked. In fact, it exacerbated her problem as she now saw even more ‘flaws’ to resolve. She hadn’t addressed the underlying cause of the problem.
When she realized that her happiness with her appearance and herself would increase if she invested far less money in changing her mindset so that she would not feel the need to spend a far larger amount on continuing to alter her looks. Her self-worth improved as soon as she realized she could control how she saw herself. She avoided further cosmetic surgery.
If I hadn’t used empathy to mirror her feelings back to her, I think she may have become stuck in a destructive surgery cycle.
3. Trust your gut feeling.
I trust my intuition and base communications on it when appropriate. Your Enteric Nervous System or Gut-brain (digestive intelligence) is the intuitive brain. A reactive response communication that isn’t based on reason and sometimes tells you to act quickly because it comprehends a situation before your head brain does. For example, we move someone out of the traffic path without having consciously (Head-brain) realized that the vehicle was even there.
I use my Gut-brain often. I take just milliseconds to respond to an instinctive gut concern because I feel that I have the three-brain equilibrium (3BE) balanced. An example of this was when I was called out to a suicide incident on a bridge in London. I spoke quickly, using my communication skills purely intuitively, and talked about the possibility of why the person would want to launch themself off the bridge.
My approach was analytical, empathetic, and most importantly, I could articulate the right words using my intuition about the situation. I was able to get the potential jumper to a better position on the bridge where the fire brigade and police could help them down to safety.
The importance of using my 3BE is, as I mentioned, because I believe I’m intuitive and I’m prepared to act on my wisdom. If there is danger, I won’t ignore my gut feeling. How many times have we heard someone say that they ignored their gut instinct and now have profound regrets about it?
They say things like;
“I knew something wasn’t right.”
“I just had a sense; I needed to speak to them.”
“I thought they were lying, but I just didn’t trust myself enough”
“It didn’t look right somehow but I went ahead anyway”
How do the three brains connect?
The 3BE processes different kinds of data from both your internal environment (this is the world inside your body) and your external environment (this is the world occurring outside of your body). Because of this continuous communication, both your Heart-brain and Gut-brain constantly monitor your environment and report back to the Head-brain and, most importantly, vice versa.
When we activate our 3 brains to work simultaneously, we balance our whole nervous system. We must understand that first, we have to calm the mind, nurture the body, and gain access to the three significant forms of intelligence by leading a healthy lifestyle.
The Head-brain, where the Cognitive Intelligence is stored, can improve and help balance emotional and digestive intelligence. An excellent way to do this is to practice mindfulness, yoga, brain gym, creativity, and stimulating concentration with contextual exercises like puzzles, reading, playing games, and physical activity such as walking, running, and impact sport.
The Heart-brain, where the Emotional Intelligence is stored, can help one align. Practice connecting with feelings by talking to others instead of numbing or suppressing your heart’s intuitive capacity. Learn to release emotions that keep you stuck and let go of limiting beliefs by changing your perception of the circumstances that you are in. Practice gratitude journaling, sit with your pain and transform it.
The Gut-brain, where the digestive intelligence is stored, is the most prominent sign of alignment. Think about it — digestion is about the intake that goes into our bodies, ultimately becoming the outcome. Digestive intelligence involves you either holding on or letting go of emotions. It is your nutrition according to your specific bodily needs. Intuitive and mindful eating practices proven to aid gut function balance out excesses and deficiencies through proper nutrition, strengthening your digestion by nourishing your gut. Good health begins with a healthy heart and gut, and this increases immunity.
When you have good digestion, it doesn't make you feel uncomfortable or prevent you from resting. Your sleep improves. If you have a happy stomach and get sound sleep, you will feel calmer.
Ignoring my gut in the past is one of my only regrets. Research suggests that chronic digestive disorders have been associated with anxiety and other emotional ailments. I’ve learned from it; I don't want to be one of those who repeat mistakes. So, I worked out how to balance and use all three of my brains, called that system 3BE, applied it to my own life, and used it to help clients and referred patients.
Common questions that I’m asked are:
“How can I apply 3BE myself?”
“How can I identify equilibrium within myself?”
We can strive for balance on our way to our decisions.
If you’re an analytical thinker and usually put your emotions aside when making decisions, be aware that you are suppressing an essential tool. I’m not advising you to decide solely based on emotions either. What I am suggesting is that the Heart-brain and Gut-brain are sending messages too and that we ignore them at our peril.
The equilibrium knows whether something makes sense to all three brains. If you’ve identified a problem, you know there will be a solution because every solution comes with a problem attached. When you reach a decision, you sometimes feel a ‘click’ and you know that you have reached the correct conclusion. If you don’t get to that light bulb moment, then you may be ignoring input from one of your brains. The key is to check in regularly with yourself. You will find that you already know all the answers just by the way you feel.
For me, realizing profound appreciation and gratitude made me realize that this activates the body’s healing differences and impacts each of the three brains.
It is essential to know that simple changes such as time spent in nature, nurturing yourself with self-care rituals, eating a healthy, nutritious diet and choosing gratitude can rewire your brain and positively impact your heart.
As a result, every system in your body enters equilibrium — everything is in sync. The outcome is distinct well-being, more fulfillment, and an increase in happy, healthy, and harmonious lifestyles.
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Belynder Walia, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Belynder Walia is a leading Psychotherapist, helping people who need a swift, effective solution to a current problem that negatively impacts their lives. She's worked with a wide variety of people, from stay-at-home carers to experts and celebrities in the public eye. Having suffered Perinatal Anxiety, she focused on enabling others to learn, heal and grow from pain. Belynder is the founder of Serene Lifestyles, an online psychotherapy practice at www.serenelifestyles.com. Her ground-breaking methods include a combination of Psychotherapy and Neuroplasticity to help rewire the THREE Brains (the head, the heart, and the gut). She has been featured in many publications, including Forbes, Cosmopolitan, Harpers Bazaar, The Moment, Planet Mindful, Thrive Global, and The London Economic. Belynder is also writing her first non-fiction book, lessons on Anxiety, providing quick fixes to help people radically change their minds so that they can change their life.
