Niketa Vakani is a Self-Love and Relationship coach helping individuals find a deeper love and acceptance of themselves, resulting in an improvement of their relationships and other areas of their lives. She has been a guest speaker on the podcasts The Unfiltered Podcast: For some reason, I had to have MS and Sunday SoulDay.
Do you suffer from productivity guilt? Yes, this really is a thing! During the last Christmas break, I felt a tremendous sense of guilt for having to slow down and rest! My body was actually crying for it, but I spent the days feeling terribly guilty and unproductive! Often, when we crave to live a life of purpose and meaning, holiday breaks and their lack of structure can really frazzle us!
I spent about five days of my Christmas holidays lazing around on the sofa, at the same time feeling mentally consumed by all the tasks that were still pending before the new year. Setting myself some ambitious goals and not being on track to accomplish them made me feel defeated. As each day passed, my mind struggled with the gravity of everything I had to do, and there was a constant overwhelm of heaviness resonating throughout my body. My couch became my haven to escape from these uncomfortable feelings and binge-watch Netflix whilst I continued to complain to my friends that I wasn't doing enough, didn't feel good enough, and just wasn't enough! So, what do we do when we experience these feelings?
7 healthy ways to eliminate the feelings of productivity guilt
1. Eliminate comparison with others
Everyone's journey in life is different, and we all vary in our individual makeup. We are all products of the values, beliefs and upbringing that we have experienced in our own lives, hence we differ in our attitudes and mindsets too. You may have grown up being exposed to extremely high expectations and have a different perception of what you ‘should’ be achieving. Who really defines what ‘should’ is? Some individuals have a higher threshold to manage their difficulties or live in a more supportive / stress-free environment. Therefore, it's important to prevent yourself from comparing your life with others whom you perceive as being more successful or accomplished than you are. No two people walk in the same shoes.
Moreover, it is important to be mindful of what one advertises about themselves on social media. This may, in reality, not represent the authenticity of their life. People often showcase their best parts and this is okay, we are allowed to celebrate ourselves! However, rather than comparing yourself to others, adopt an attitude of being happy for others’ successes as a catalyst to inspire you too!
2. Define what productivity looks like to you
Many people equate being 'busy' to high levels of productivity. Some feel that putting your exhausted head on a pillow in bed after having a manic day is a measure of how productive you have been that day. However, productivity is not measured by cramming in as much as you can into a day and then feeling drained! There are ways of working smart that require less time and yield the same results. Furthermore, you do not need to have a packed agenda to justify that you have had a productive day.
It is useful to create your own realistic and achievable measures of your own productivity. What do you feel you need to accomplish, or how many hours do you want to be spending on a task to feel that you have been productive? What would you like the end result to be? Remember to allow yourself some flexibility to deviate from this time to time without engaging in self-critical talk!
3. Understand the causes
Are you beating yourself up over goals or everyday tasks that you feel are not being achieved every single day? Perhaps with good intentions, you have recently set some new routines to which you cannot adhere.
Maybe it's time to evaluate your daily progress against the unexpected curve balls in life, which can sometimes hinder this. Grab a pen and paper and write down any difficulties you may have experienced that could have affected the time, energy, or emotion required to complete tasks and affect your productivity. Then, write down what you have managed to achieve despite these setbacks. These could be monotonous tasks you consider to be insignificant, such as cooking your meals on most evenings, delivering a presentation, reading to your child, or even going to the gym. Now, give yourself some praise and recognition for achieving any of these tasks, as these demonstrate productivity.
Writing things down can help you to see the things you achieve more transparently. This exercise can be a reminder that although all of our tasks or goals cannot always be met due to life situations taking over, it is important to acknowledge the little wins, knowing that you have tried your best in the circumstances you have been given in those moments.
4. Recognize that productivity requires recharging yourself
Did you know that planning rest periods is actually productive or at least conducive to more productivity?
It is important for our bodies to be in tune with the seasonal variations that affect our body's circadian rhythms. The change in seasons can disrupt the balance of the body's melatonin, which plays a role in sleep patterns and mood. During winter, there is a natural desire for the body to require more rest and sleep. Lacking sleep or feeling low in mood can significantly affect our productivity.
Being productive may require some investment in self-care practices, which fuel the tasks ahead. Snuggling up in bed to read a book, an engaging fiction or a self-development book, is also a means of rejuvenating your spirit or being productive towards your inner growth. Meeting friends who uplift you or make you laugh is a great way to boost your mood! Being mentally recharged will assist in all areas of your life by helping you gain a clearer outlook towards tasks, consequently resulting in more productivity.
5. Reassess the reality of your goals
Most of us, at some point, have started a new year with a list of well-intended resolutions, only to give up halfway through January, resulting in feelings of failure and perhaps even a rebellion toward the original goal! It is important to set tasks or goals that you know are possible for you. Sometimes, this entails taking smaller steps towards a bigger goal. Setting SMART goals means setting goals that are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. Remember, Rome was not built in one day!
Most importantly, if it doesn’t all go to plan, it is okay! It is unhealthy to spiral into a demotivated mindset. Realising that each moment in life is a new base from where to start is key to knowing that you can still be productive by implementing action from the present moment.
6. Change your inner dialogue
Do you ever engage in listening to how you speak to yourself? Try this for an hour and list some of the common phrases that come up. Are you regularly using phrases such as,
“I am not doing enough”
“I should be getting this done more quickly”
Be aware of how you speak to yourself. Are these critical thoughts serving you in any manner? Will they motivate you to be more productive or discourage you? It becomes a valuable skill when you can catch those unwarranted thoughts immediately. When you hear these self-critical words, say to yourself, "I do not consent to this!"
Then change your inner dialogue to,
“I am doing the best I can with the situation and all the resources I have right now. My best is good enough. Yes, there may be scope for more productivity, and I am mastering this!”
Find positive phrases to celebrate your small wins and victories and affirm to yourself, “I am proud of myself for achieving.”
7. Talk to a trusting friend
When you are encountering any unpleasant, guilt-related feelings, confide in a trusted person, who knows about your life’s circumstances. The latter is important as this person has a good understanding of what else you may be contending with on a daily basis. Of course, our friends often respond by telling us things that feel good to hear, however there are also qualities they see in us that we perhaps need a reminder of, would benefit from hearing in our low moments and lead to our realisation that we are not actually being unproductive!
It is important to be kind to yourself and cut yourself some slack when you are trying your best.
Remember, you are not alone in feeling productivity guilt. At some point, we all experience feelings of inadequacy or not being or doing enough. In order to be productive, it is valuable to find that balance of rest that is guilt-free with setting yourself measurable goals that are also realistically achievable in the time frame you have aimed for.
If you require any further support with feelings of guilt or inadequacy, I can empower you to develop a mindset that allows you to be kind to yourself while still striving to achieve your best.
Niketa Vakani, Self-Love and Relationship Coach
Niketa is a dedicated Self-Love and Relationship Coach, inspiring countless individuals with her story of resilience and personal transformation. Faced with immense challenges, including an abusive marriage and severe health issues leading to paralysis, Niketa has triumphed over adversity through unwavering faith and determination.
After being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis, she fought her way back to health, relearning to walk and reclaiming her life. A Jay Shetty certified coach, Niketa now uses her experiences to empower others, helping them build self-love, strength, resilience, and confidence. Her life motto, "Face your challenges, dance with life," encapsulates her approach to overcoming obstacles and finding joy amidst adversity.
