Written by: Eric Lomax, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
We should take a collective approach to coping with post-pandemic grief due to its impact all over the world. However, we are still having trouble making grief acceptable and honorable. Our culture should normalize talking about grief and loss. It should not be a taboo subject that’s just discussed in therapy sessions.
The Pandemic
The COVID-19 Pandemic has produced millions of losses throughout the world. Many have witnessed or been a part of a global mass casualty event that destabilized our socio-economic fabric. Our way of life was severely impacted by the pandemic and due to the massive losses, we have yet to see what effects it will have on people and our way of life. Frustration and anger have fueled the fire while individuals struggle to cope with the changes brought about by government-imposed lockdowns. Due to so much loss we will need to prepare ourselves to cope with the overwhelming grief that will accompany this tragedy.
The pandemic has produced collective grief
However, in my experience grief is a taboo subject that should not be discussed. Normally grief is personal, however, we have witnessed a pandemic that has taken the lives of millions of people across the globe, so it is no longer personal. Now, we will be faced with collective grief because the pandemic's impact has been felt on a global level. The virus has wiped out entire families, churches, businesses, and communities which have left our entire world in shock and disbelief.
We need to normalize talking about grief and loss
Are we prepared to handle grief on this scale? I am hopeful that we can. But to prepare, we must normalize talking about grief. We should be able to discuss our feelings of loss and we should have the support of those around us. We should not be made to feel like we are broken and in need of fixing. A grieving person does not need fixing, they need understanding and the only way to achieve this is to listen to the person. Let them guide you where they need to go because they are on a journey towards finding new beginnings.
Talking about grief and loss should not be difficult
But why is talking about grief and loss so difficult? Why does it cause so much discomfort to those who have to witness a person’s loss? Death and loss are a part of the cycle of life. We are denying its place in the cycle if we do not honor it. We should allow grieving person the freedom to express their feelings without guilt or shame. If you don’t know what to say to a grieving person, that’s ok. Sometimes it’s best to be present instead of heard. Your presence means more than your words.
Witnessing a loved ones grief helps them to heal
We need to honor that the surviving person is forever changed by the loss. Our lives go on as usual, but a person who has experienced a loss cannot go on as usual. The person or thing that was a part of their life is now gone and they must learn how to heal and accept the loss. It does them no good to not allow them to express their grief and what the loss meant to them. A grieving person must have their loss witnessed by those that are closest to them. This is a part of their healing, and it will help them to progress through and make it to the point of acceptance.
Companies play a crucial role in the grief process
Companies must also honor the losses of their employees. I say this because your employees have been forever changed by this pandemic. They are not the same pre-pandemic employees from a few years ago. Most of them have probably lost loved ones or had to mourn others' loss. They have also had to adopt a new way of life due to the restrictions brought on by the virus. It is imperative that companies understand the complexities of the grief cycle if they are interested in employee retention.
Understanding and acceptance will foster recovery
As we make our way towards recovery let us not forget a critical component of our healing. We should pay more attention to what people have experienced and we should learn to honor their loss. Grief is not about time because it is a journey towards a new beginning. There will be plenty of bumps along the way. Understanding and acceptance go a long way in helping the grieving person find their way.
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Eric Lomax, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Eric Lomax is a public speaker and coach helping individuals, groups, and corporations to overcome grief and loss. He lost his wife Kenisha to Colon Cancer in 2016 and from that tragedy he set out to gain understanding so that others could process grief successfully. He wrote the book From Grief to Glory The Rise of the Centurion which chronicled his experience of losing his wife. He is now CEO of Eric Lomax Speaks which seeks to educate and open dialogue about grief. He is on a mission to help others cope and process loss.
