Written by: Shannon McNiece, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
We’ve all experienced resistance to getting started at some point. By the end of this article, you’ll have a clear seven-step method you can implement to move through resistance and achieve your goals.
As New Year's resolutions begin to be established, it can be difficult for many of us to find the motivation and enthusiasm needed to get out of our comfortably settled lifestyle routines. We tend to have ingrained psychological resistances that can prevent us from actively creating change in our lives. Personal development can be hard. In this article, we will cover some practical tips for getting unstuck, overcoming resistance, and moving forward.
Resistance can come up for almost any task or activity, and the internal blocks can vary. The blocks may be inertia, fear, or high-intensity emotions such as anxiety or overwhelm. Thinking filters such as “shoulds” and “all-or-nothing thinking” can act like quicksand. Intense self-judgment can be a huge block, as is often the case with the “prison of perfection” and imposter syndrome.
Resistance to getting started is something pretty much everyone has struggled with to some degree. Some of us may experience it more frequently, and some might get stuck in it more intensely, but pretty much everybody has experienced this at some point.
When we come up against resistance, what is most important is having a clear framework and action plan for breaking through. Here are seven steps that can help you move forward, stay motivated when difficulties arise and remain mindful of positive self-talk to keep you on track in the new year.
7 Steps to Busting Through Resistance
Acknowledge how you’re feeling
Give yourself grace
Break it down
Designate a time
Do one step
Accountability and support
Celebrate your successes
Let’s take them one by one.
Step 1: Acknowledge how you are feeling
The first step in getting unstuck is to acknowledge how you are feeling. Ask yourself what emotions are coming up for you when you think about getting started. It may be fear, shame, overwhelm, anxiety, or insecurity. Name the emotions and name the resistance (if you can put your finger on it). Remember that it is okay to feel how you feel.
It can be easy to compartmentalize or avoid unpleasant feelings but being honest with yourself may help get you unstuck more quickly. So, take some time and sit with your thoughts, and self-assess. You may want to try journaling - this can help you recognize patterns or underlying causes of resistance. When it comes time to take action, you will have greater clarity on how to move forward.
In addition to acknowledging any difficult feelings, also acknowledge your willingness. Your desire to engage matters. You want to do it - that is a huge first step! Often people do not acknowledge willingness as a step; they glide right past it. It is important to acknowledge your internal desire because you are leveraging positive psychology on your behalf. Be kind to yourself.
Step 2: Give yourself grace
Once you have acknowledged how you are feeling, the next step is to give yourself grace. We put an immense amount of pressure on ourselves when it comes to reaching our goals. Understand that what you are experiencing is normal! Because it is not something people talk about a lot, we can fall into the trap of thinking everybody else has it all figured out, and they are cruising along in life just fine (social media can perpetuate this illusion). Stuckness is not shared openly, so people feel broken, or damaged when it comes up within them.
Beating yourself up may work in the short term, but research demonstrates it is not the most conducive for establishing lasting behavior change. Quit bullying yourself. Rather than being harsh on yourself for not being further ahead in your journey, show yourself compassion by accepting where you are right now without judgment.
Step 3: Break it down
The third step is breaking down your goal into smaller, more manageable tasks. Think even smaller than a baby step – what is the smallest possible micro step you think you could manage?
Micro steps make it easier to focus on one task at a time without feeling overwhelmed by the entire project. And by completing a series of small tasks, you will make progress bit by bit. Smaller steps can help keep us motivated as we work toward building positive momentum.
For example, a client and I were trying to get started on a trauma timeline. The client wanted to start, they just felt like they could not begin due to overwhelm (very understandable for a trauma assignment). We acknowledged the client’s feelings, and their strong internal desire to begin. We then asked, “what is the smallest possible step that we could take today to get started?” We decided on taking out a piece of paper and drawing a single line across the page to begin the timeline (a fabulous first step!).
Step 4: Designate a time
Once you have broken down your goal into smaller pieces, set aside specific times during which you will work on them—even if it is just 5 minutes here or 10 there. Carving out specific blocks of time can increase productivity as we complete small tasks quickly and efficiently. You may want to set aside an hour each day or block off certain days of the week for focused sessions – whatever works best for you. Having specific time frames set aside can help keep us on track.
Watch out for all-or-nothing thinking. For example, you do not have to work out for an hour each day. Maybe you start with stretching for 5 minutes and build up from there. You do not have to clean your whole house in one session; you could tidy up or spend 10 minutes on the dishes.
Another useful tool is stacking. Stack your micro-step with something that you are already doing in your day. Stacking helps to reinforce the habit, and it also works as a reminder if you are forgetful. For example, if you are trying to cultivate a new habit of meditating but it is hard for you to get going, stack it with brushing your teeth ‒ something that you are already doing every day.
Step 5: Do one step.
Now we can start taking action.
Take it one small step at a time. Remember that even small steps are better than no steps. Go with whatever feels accessible to you at that moment without expectations, judgments, or harsh self-criticism. The negative self-talk does not help reinforce the getting unstuck muscle we are trying to cultivate.
Taking action on micro-steps softens everything. This is because now you've started. Now, it becomes about continuing. It is no longer about the overwhelm, the resistance, or the impossible task. It is not about the stuckness. Instead, it becomes about “okay, well what is the next step that I can take?”
Focus on taking consistent action rather than perfectionism – remember that progress over perfection always wins in the end. Taking consistent action will help keep your momentum going so that even if there are setbacks along the way, they won’t derail you completely.
Step 6: Accountability and support
Some people are excellent at holding themselves accountable. They can lovingly kick their own butt into action and hold their feet to the fire. They can show up dedicatedly once they start. But many more of us struggle with that kind of consistency. If you have a hard time holding yourself accountable, there are a couple of ways to hack it.
One approach is to gamify your action steps. Reward yourself for doing each chunk, depending on the task and how much resistance you feel to it. Giving yourself a little reward for finishing the hard task can be a great strategy.
Another tip is to recruit teammates who will help hold you accountable. This could be a therapist, partner, coworker, family member, or friend. Tell them your intention and ask them to help hold you accountable; then, report back. If they forget to check in with you, take the initiative and offer a progress report. But your people do more than provide accountability, they can give support throughout your entire journey. Having someone who believes in you and is willing to offer encouragement can be an invaluable resource during times of difficulty or stagnation. So do not hesitate to reach out for help if needed.
Step 7: Celebrate your success
As rewarding as it can be to get unstuck and reach our goals, do not forget to celebrate your successes along the way. It is hard work to create lasting behavior change, acknowledge that. Recognize your wins and give yourself credit for your progress. Do not minimize your accomplishments – even if they seem “small” to you. Celebrating small successes gives us the motivation to keep going even when things get tough, and it reinforces the new habits we are building.
Conclusion:
Everyone experiences periods of resistance at some point in their lives but with the right strategies in place, these moments do not have to stop or deter us. Breaking through resistance can be tough but with these seven steps, getting started does not have to be intimidating or overwhelming anymore. Acknowledging how we are feeling, giving ourselves grace, breaking our goals down into smaller tasks, designating specific times for those tasks, doing them with consistency, finding an accountability partner who can provide feedback and support, and celebrating our wins are all essential ingredients in any recipe for getting unstuck and moving toward success with perseverance, resilience, and confidence.
Let me know how you find these steps and if they work for you. Good luck!
Visit www.shannonmcniece.com for free downloads and information about Luxury Holistic Brain-Based Healing.
Shannon McNiece, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Shannon McNiece is a CEO, double-board licensed therapist, and the world’s first luxury holistic neuro-health transformation expert. She is pioneering a new space at the intersection of applied neuroscience and personal development by leveraging neuro-health as the preeminent catalyst for profound personal expansion. Shannon alchemizes the magic within each of us and creates transformational experiences for those seeking their highest Truth, Love, and Light. Her clients embody their true power and transcend old patterns forever. Shannon's mission for every client is a sustainable and fully actualized state of aligned clarity, joy, and integrated well-being.
