Written by: Jean Fleming, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
The key to communicating with impact is knowing yourself and knowing your audience, in terms of style, preferences and language.
Style
Pay attention to your own tone, volume, and pace of speech. Are you loud and fast paced or more reflective, quietly spoken? Consider the pace of the people you communicate well with. Does their pace mirror yours?
Reflect on those that you think don’t understand you, don’t listen to you, don’t get you. Perhaps there is a difference in style.
Two reflective speakers give each other time to think, process and articulate. Two fast-paced speakers might interrupt, speak over each other, or get louder and louder as they compete for airspace. If they are similar, they won’t be offended by this.
However, if you mix the two - a quieter person may feel overwhelmed or possibly bombarded by the louder person. The louder person might feel frustrated by the slower, more thoughtful pace – keen for the exchange to move quicker.
Think about where your communications have not landed in the way you had wanted. Think about how you may have to adjust your style to match those around you and specifically those you want to listen to you.
Preference
Some tend to talk in stories, conceptual, big picture, direct and to the point. Some like a level of detail, facts, dates, numbers.
Knowing your own preference can be useful as you know what you will typically default to but more importantly, when communicating with others, knowing their preference is key.
Consider whether they want the detail, facts and figures or do they want the bare minimum in bullet points.
Think about the impact it will have if someone wants bullets and they get a 30-page report. It won’t get read. If someone wants the detail and you give them half a dozen bullets. If you are looking for these people to make decisions or support you in something, you must ensure they have the right level of information for them. It is irrelevant whether you think it is too detailed or too brief, your preference is not important – theirs is!
Also, remembering that listening is a key part of communication and a person who feels listened to will feel valued. Asking questions is a great tool in your kit to help you understand what their needs are.
Language
If you have a friendly conversational approach imagine how intrusive this may feel to someone who has a more formal approach. They may not want to discuss their family, what they watched on TV last night or what they had for lunch. They may just want to discuss the task in hand.
If on the other hand, you are the formal person, imagine how cold that may appear to someone who wants to get to you know in a more social or personal context – it’s not all just work to them. Neither is right or wrong – it’s not personal – we are all different.
So again, pay attention to your audience, even from the first introduction you can tell from their body language how open, relaxed, casual they are versus more formal and task-focused.
Also, be aware of the unnecessary words you use that will reduce your impact...I am just, perhaps, maybe, I may not be an expert or apologising without cause. Be confident in your suggestions, opinions, and your own value. They will show you as a clearer communicator and as such you will have more impact.
Know your audience
Observe, listen, take note. If you have met the person before, you may be able to identify their preference and style. If you haven’t met them before but have had written exchanges – look at their writing – is it conversational, formal, succinct, detailed. All of these will be clues to how they prefer to be communicated with.
Key to remember is to communicate to them in their preferred style if you want to have more impact with them.
There is no one right or wrong way to communicate it is about respecting individuals’ style and preferences and adapting so that you can meet their communication needs.
If you want support in understanding your own style and how to identify others’, then contact me at hello@jeanfleming.com.
Jean Fleming, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Jean Fleming is an Empowerment and Leadership Coach helping women to create the life they want. With over 30 years of business experience, Jean was the first woman to join the Board of a global company – a role she still fulfills 12 years later.
Jean is an experienced ICF accredited Coach, a DiSC Profiler, an Emotional Intelligence EQi-2.0 Assessor, and a Fellow of the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development (CIPD). Jean uses her extensive range of skills and experience to bring a dynamic and supportive service to her clients to help them identify and create the life they want.
