Written by: Tom Paine, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Why can't you speak in public? It's because I keep telling myself so!
Over the years, I held a firm belief that I couldn’t speak in front of an audience. If there were more than 2 people around, I would fumble my words, turn red, and generally make a mess of what I was trying to say.
Every time this would happen, every time I would mess up. And after each episode, I would reaffirm to myself: ’you can’t speak in public, so don’t even bother next time!’
Was this story true? Was my ‘belief’ based on fact?
The answer was quite simply ’no,’ and here’s why…
I realized that beliefs are not based on evidence. They were merely the result of experiences in my life. I also learned that thoughts create your beliefs. Therefore I was ‘thinking myself’ into this negative belief about public speaking.
After realizing that this was the case, I started to challenge myself to get better at it.
I started to practice more in the run-up to presentations, and I would prepare what I wanted to say ahead of the event.
I also prepared a few pre-rehearsed anecdotes before social events, just in case the spotlight was on me to tell a story. I would visualize the conversation going well, with me at the heart of it.
The result of this new belief that I could improve, was a better outcome. Not perfect, but a step in the right direction.
I realized that if I changed my attitude by not telling myself the same old story of ‘you can’t speak in Public,’ I had half a chance.
Over the years to come, I was promoted to a position that involved hosting office meetings. My job depended on public speaking, so I had to start performing.
I mastered Sales Meetings, sometimes in front of 50 + staff.
Next up was my wedding speech, keeping 100+ guests entertained (and even making a few family members cry!). My confidence was growing. I even saw it as a new challenge to push myself to get better results. I wanted to continue to prove myself wrong!
Disproving my limiting belief culminated when I delivered my Grandad’s Eulogy to friends and family at his funeral. A truly emotional day, but one of great pride as I conquered that limiting belief by delivering a speech my Grandad would have been proud of.
So, the question needs to be asked: are your beliefs working for you?
There are so many stories that we tell ourselves, thoughts, and beliefs that work against us. They stop us from living a life of true potential.
I always enjoy giving this example to my clients as they look to overcome their limiting beliefs. It gives me a sense of pride. It gives my clients a methodology in how to prevent the beliefs that are holding back their lives.
Try starting today. Recognize those doubts and thoughts that are keeping you from fulfilling your true potential. And start living!
Tom Paine, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Tom Paine is a Certified Life Coach, offering expertise in resilience, confidence growth, and relationship management. Professionally, Tom spent ten years working in the Recruitment sector. He built an excellent reputation as a specialist IT Consultant, eventually becoming a Business Manager, leading sales teams responsible for £8m annual turnover for global and SME organizations, relocating to London and Manchester. Tom’s sales team operated at 18 staff at its peak, ranging from Junior Consultants to Principals, Managers, and Team Leaders.
Tom coaches people based on their needs, supporting them to overcome restrictions in their life. Tom's clients experience a renewed sense of confidence, well-being, and energy, enabling them to take control of their lives to start living with happiness and fulfillment. He blends corporate experience, spirituality, and goal setting to fantastic effect.
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