Written by: Stacey Ruth, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
When a boss, peer, or client cheers you on, even before you feel inner certainty about your abilities in a new role or task, your confidence naturally soars. However, you can build your confidence and self-esteem at work without any external validation. For instance, when you are your own boss or working in isolation, you must rely on your own ability to build confidence much of the time. In fact, this inner-sourced confidence and self-esteem are ultimately more empowering and sustainable.
Which Comes First – Self-Esteem or Confidence?
Since it is quite possible, and unfortunately rather common, to have high self-confidence but low self-esteem, neither is actually necessary for the other to exist. Self-esteem is about your belief in your worthiness, independent of your circumstances, while confidence is about your trust in your own abilities.
It is natural when you are put in a new role or handed a high-profile project, to have some self-doubt about your abilities. You may have little previous experience in this particular area, and you are uncertain how to proceed. Your confidence and self-esteem will drive what you do next.
A highly confident person, who is lacking a certain amount of self-esteem, will believe that they have what it takes to learn what is needed and get the job done effectively. They might burn the candle at both ends and most likely will go above and beyond what is expected – or actually needed in many cases. They may also do all of this to the detriment of their health and well-being, even though they may ask for additional resources.
An individual with high self-esteem, who isn’t fully confident in their abilities to execute all the needed tasks for the role or project, will begin to seek out experts and other team members who can teach and collaborate to get the project done effectively. This person will put their self-care in the forefront, choosing not to over-extend, even though they will meet their commitments.
The beauty is that both confidence and self-esteem can be built and strengthened at any age, independent of one another.
The Signs of High Self-Esteem at Work
The signs of high self-esteem at work translate from high self-esteem in other facets of one’s life and can feed self-confidence.
With healthy self-esteem, you're:
Values own inner guidance first, and foremost, over outside opinions and direction
Ability to assertively (not aggressively or passively) state needs and opinions
Effective decision-making, even in ambiguous situations
Track record of secure, authentic relationships and a low tolerance for any other type
Taking realistic actions based on acceptance of self, others, and situations without feeling victimized or judgmental
Highly resilient in fluctuating, stressful, chaotic circumstances
Signs of High Confidence at Work
Confidence is built on experience and the acquisition of knowledge. So the attributes of high-confidence, isolated from self-esteem look like this:
Extremely willing to take on new roles and projects
Embraces challenge and calculated risk
Leans into personal development and growth activities
Shares the spotlight
Listens well
Celebrates successes and achievements visibly
How to Quickly Improve Confidence and Self-Esteem
It is fairly obvious how low self-esteem and confidence can seriously sabotage a professional career. However, restoring these critical attributes is not as difficult as it might seem. There are many ways to approach restoring self-esteem and confidence, which can be done in combination, or one at a time.
Restoring one’s confidence is typically faster and easier than self-esteem if both are low. These actions can kick your confidence into high gear:
Get experience in the area you feel unsure of – that can include finding a mentor, studying, joining a group or team, and spending time doing the “thing” in low profile/low-risk situations.
Recognize the difference between excellence (doing something well, which is empowering) and doing it perfectly (which is demoralizing).
Reframe disappointments and mistakes as learning experiences. This may seem too soft, if your ego just took a big hit, but the alternative is shutting yourself down for fear of repeating the error. It takes real courage to reframe.
Be patient and disciplined. This is especially important for fast learners who often sail through new challenges with remarkable ease. When they hit something that really demands a lot out of them, they give up since it feels so hard in contrast to their pattern.
Look for places to courageously push past your comfort zone, which continues to expand that zone over time. Making this a habit grows your confidence as you master each new level.
Take micro-steps. This breaks massive projects into their tiniest components, and as you file one paper or answer one email, you can celebrate a small accomplishment, which powers the next action.
Ask for help in your tasks. When you share the load, you can focus on what you do best, which builds greater confidence in those areas.
Restoring one’s self-esteem requires that we dig a little deeper since self-esteem is about our beliefs of ourselves. Every belief we ever have was learned at some point. The beauty of that is we can unlearn, relearn and choose a new belief system. This takes the unconscious beliefs, such as I’m not enough, and makes a fresh, conscious allegiance with a different belief, such as I am everything I need. Here are some ways to retrain yourself and grow self-esteem:
Do estimable acts. When you forgive, express gratitude, do someone a favor, make an introduction, or other act of support and connection, then your own confidence grows as you realize how much you have to give.
Put your own self-care first on your priority list. This can be very challenging at first, especially if it feels like your self-care is in conflict with family, client, or employer demands. So do it in increments – planning healthy meals for the week, getting more sleep, taking the stairs, meditating for five minutes, etc. With each win, you will have greater energy to add more self-care as you go.
Learn to tap into your personal values, purpose, and mission. Many of us have never stopped to consider what these really are. Once we identify what lights us up, our self-esteem begins to soar.
Practice affirmations. Many people believe that affirmations are just fluff. Nothing could be further from the truth. Individuals with low self-esteem are actually practicing a form of self-hypnosis on themselves with their inner critic’s constant dialog. Shut the critic down using affirmations to counteract it.
With just a little effort to refocus and reset, leaders and their teams can build confidence and self-esteem. This impacts the productivity and engagement of the entire organizational culture, whether it is just one entrepreneur trying to grow or a global company creating a sustainable future.
Stacey Ruth, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine Leadership Coach, Stacey Ruth, is an acclaimed marketer, entrepreneur, minister, and founder of two multimillion-dollar agencies. She has been named one of the Top 50 Entrepreneurs in Atlanta and twice as one of the Top 100 “It” Agencies by Experiential Marketer Magazine. She did all this while struggling with two failed marriages, imposter syndrome, overwhelm, and stress-related health issues. This inner crash from outer success triggered the spiritual journey that took her to Manchu Picchu and had her walking across the fire. This was when she learned how we all could rise above circumstances to become irresistible and unstoppable. Today, Stacey advocates for leaders ready to reach their next level with clarity and confidence - most especially women leaders like herself. Stacey is the author of Own Your Own Shift: The Power, Passion, and Freedom to Be Unstoppable.
