Written by Maxim Minin, Wellness & Business Coach
Maxim, Wellness & Business coach and Founder of www.livewithsmile.com, started his entrepreneurial journey as a personal trainer and wellness coach. Through the years of self education and working with clients in achieving their health goals, he realized that real wellness is achieved through a balance and fulfillment in finances, relationship,
Although this article was mainly written for working parents or parents who would like to start their own business, even if you don’t have kids or not yet in a relationship, it will give you some tools to improve your productivity, time management and communication.
Starting a business is tough
We all know that starting a business (a legit one at least) is tough. It takes a lot of time to think through planning, content creation, marketing, content creation, sales, marketing, content creation, learning, etc…
Now maybe you are someone with many years of experience and it was easier for you to start (because hey - who can beat experience) but when I started, I had no idea what or how to do and every growth step was painful and always pushed me out of my comfort zone. And it’s an ongoing process - always learning and always evolving.
Took a toll on my marriage
But here is the thing: When I started working on my business, it took a toll on my marriage, my relationship with my boy and my health: I mean, thats a weird one right? a wellness & business coach that can’t keep himself healthy - building a business of helping others achieve financial, parenting and relationship fulfillment. (Imposter syndrome, anyone?)
It’s like when I had a conversation with a good friend of mine he told me a joke saying that ‘Nowadays every divorced woman starting a marriage consulting business - which you must admit might raise an eyebrow initially…’
Going back to my story, I was always consumed by the business - searching for new clients, shooting videos, making posts, setting up consultation calls, training people, and not doing that I was thinking about it and stressed about it. Obviously it made be detached - both from my wife and my kid and I was always on edge: I was angry, depressed and kind of grumpy - basically not a fun person to be around.
And the reality check was: Although I said I was doing it for my family - I was thinking only about myself. Fortunately, I was working with a coach at that time that helped me to identify that and I was able to transform that.
Now look - I get it: we all want financial freedom or fulfillment (or at least we are striving to get there ), and for each person it means different things:
For some it is making 6,7,8 figures a month and for some it is making 50-100K / Year so they can have a roof over their heads and education for their kids .
My point is - that in the chase for financial freedom, we might lose those we actually want to create this financial freedom for and with. I have seen it happening to me (heck I was on the brink of divorce) and I have seen it with many of the clients I was working with: one way or another.
So I wanted to share a few tips that I have applied for myself, and it helped other clients I have worked with as well. (Now to be honest - I do want to achieve financial freedom - but I want to be fulfilled with the path and the relationships in my life - otherwise what is the point, right?)
How to build a business without screwing up your marriage
1. Open communication with your partner
That is a pitfall many fall into, and it can resolve many challenges in your business as well. We actually expect that our second half understands what is going on with us: the struggles, the long hours, the stress, the financial pressure etc…
When you openly communicate it, then you both know what to expect and then she or he better understands your reactions and the reasons behind your ‘weird ‘behavior‘. Not only that but you will have someone on your side to consult with and spill your heart when you need it - as we all know: being an entrepreneur or someone who builds a business.
2. Anchor time dedicated only for you two
Keep between one or two evenings free to spend time together - and make sure it is scheduled, agreed and fixed in both your calendars. And in order to make it easier on both of you, you can even plan ahead what you will do: Go eat out, watch a movie, have a romantic dinner at home etc… Don't get stuck in: 'Let's do something' - it never ends up well :)
3. Dedicate time to spend with the kid/kids
If you have one kid - then it is only with him, when you have few - you should schedule some time with each one and some time with all of them. Even the smallest activity with the kids where you are present with them makes a huge difference. For example, I decided that I will take my boy every morning to the bus or at least meet him there after my morning training. That made an amazing shift in our relationship and communication, and it was a good way for both of us to start a day.
4. Set time for gratitude and goals
Many times we just jump into action without stopping and actually acknowledged our blessing and what we have achieved. Set aside 5-10 minutes of your day and just repeatedly say: ‘ I am grateful for ______ ‘ and then think and state what you are grateful for. It might be anything from your health, amazing kids, client abundance, healthy cash flow, great business etc… Not only will it remind you why you are doing what you are doing - but it will actually put you in a positive mindset for the day and make your day much more positive & productive.
5. Listen to what was said without interpretation
This is a huge one and your life will be amazing when you master it. Most of the time, we are not aware that we don’t hear what people say, but it is our interpretation of what they say. We always tend to question: what did she/he meant by saying that - and then we attach feeling to it. Learn how not to do that - try to accept what was said as what was said without attaching emotions to it and if already feelings are attached - make sure they are positive and empowering.
6. Breakthrough scheduling and execution
This was another big barrier for me - first I wasn’t able to work with a calendar and schedule things… then when I have started scheduling I wasn’t doing what I actually wrote, but I did what was convenient (For some reason I feel like I’m not the only one doing this).
Trust me on this - if you keep saying you don’t have time for things - it’s usually because you have scheduling and execution problems, and it will sabotage both your relationship and / or your business - so this one is another thing to master.
7. Have a clear picture
People find themselves working and putting so much effort, and they have absolutely no clear answer about why they are doing that. Get very clear what do you want and how you would like to see your financial situation and your relationship with your partner & kids and, most importantly, share it with them - so they too will know what leads your actions.
One important thing to remember: Everything is a matter of choice & perspective. You might make 50K a year and be happy in an amazing relationship and enjoy every day of your life, or you can make 100M and be in a broken relationship and miserable.
I hope that these points will be valuable to you and help you in your journey to financial, parenting and relationship fulfilment, and that you will enjoy every day of your journey.
Maxim Minin, Wellness & Business Coach
Maxim, Wellness & Business coach and Founder of www.livewithsmile.com, started his entrepreneurial journey as a personal trainer and wellness coach. Through the years of self education and working with clients in achieving their health goals, he realized that real wellness is achieved through a balance and fulfillment in finances, relationship, parenting, and of course, self-care. His mission is to help stay at home mothers, parents or those who are not fulfilled in their life to breakthrough their beliefs, transform their relationship and communication as well as start building an online coaching, consulting or experts business that will both them generate more income, free more time, promote self-growth and in the end lead to that desired fulfillment with finances, relationship, kids and well being.’
