Written by: Jana Morton, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
We often seek validation and happiness solely from our partners, which can put a lot of pressure on our relationship and can lead to codependency. It's essential to cultivate self-love and a healthy sense of self-worth independent of our partner. Healthy relationships are built on mutual support, respect, and understanding, not on one person's need for validation from the other.
As a relationship coach, I have witnessed the transformative power of self-love, self-care, gratitude, forgiveness, effective communication, and fun and laughter in helping couples reconnect and find more joy and ease in navigating the challenges of their relationships.
When we take responsibility for our own happiness, we start to make choices that align with our values, desires, and needs. That, in turn, creates a positive ripple effect in our relationships and life in general.
Here are 5 tips on how to bring more ease and joy into your relationship:
1. Prioritize Self-Love
Self-love is an essential component of creating a fulfilling and joyful relationship. When you love and accept yourself for who you are, you develop a foundation of self-worth and confidence that allows you to show up authentically in your relationship. That means expressing your feelings, needs, and desires with honesty and vulnerability.
You can easily set boundaries, communicate your needs, and care for yourself physically and emotionally. Self-love also means being kind to yourself and forgiving yourself for your mistakes. When you practice self-love, you become a more loving partner.
Self-care is also critical for maintaining a healthy and happy relationship. You become a better partner when you prioritize your physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being. You have more energy, patience, and resilience to handle the challenges and stresses of daily life.
Schedule time for activities that nourish your body and soul, such as exercise, meditation, hobbies, spending time with quality friends and positive people or spending time alone.
2. Practice gratitude
Gratitude is a powerful tool for cultivating joy and connection in your relationship. By focusing on the positive aspects of your partner and your relationship, you shift your attention away from problems and complaints. Expressing gratitude can be as simple as saying "thank you" for small acts of kindness or acknowledging the things you love about your partner. This practice creates a positive atmosphere and fosters feelings of appreciation and affection.
It's easy to get caught up in what you don't have, but by focusing on everything you do have, you can find joy in even the simplest things.
Before you go to bed every day, exchange with your partner three things you are grateful for and one thing you appreciate about each other. This routine can create a sense of mutual appreciation and deepen the connection between the two of you.
3. Learn to Forgive
Forgiveness is essential for any healthy relationship. Holding onto grudges or resentments only creates distance and conflict. When you forgive your partner for their mistakes, you free yourself from anger and bitterness. Forgiving doesn't mean forgetting or tolerating harmful behavior, but rather, choosing to let go of the negative emotions that keep you stuck in the past. That allows you to move forward with a fresh perspective and renewed hope.
The ability to forgive goes hand in hand with self-compassion and forgiveness towards your own flaws. The easier you can forgive yourself the easier it is to forgive your partner.
4. Communicate effectively
Clear and effective communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship. When you have trouble communicating with your partner, you bottle up your emotions and eventually explode in anger. Working on healthy ways of expressing yourself is essential. That requires a certain level of self-awareness, knowing and understanding your feelings and need, and being able to communicate them to your partner.
When you need to communicate something important and need your partner to hear you, try to imagine you are speaking to your closest friend and choose the appropriate tone of voice and kind words. We often put many labels on our partners, such as: "He/she doesn't care about me," and we speak to this label rather than our partner.
5. Laugh often
Fun and laughter are essential ingredients for bringing more ease and joy into your relationship. As adults, we get bogged down by responsibilities and stress, but prioritizing playfulness and lightheartedness can help create a more positive and enjoyable atmosphere. That can look like trying new activities together, playing games, or simply finding moments to be silly and laugh. When you prioritize fun and laughter, it can help create positive memories and build a stronger bond between you. Laughing together releases endorphins and creates a sense of bonding and intimacy.
Find a picture of yourself when you were a teenager; the sillier picture, the better. Now, look at the person in the picture. Do you still recognize yourself? Of course, you do! It is still you – minus the stress, the difficulties of life, the draining routine, the marriage, the children, the in-laws, the job … the playful you is still in there. Connect with that teenager! Invite your partner to do the same.
After the good laugh you both have about how silly you look in the pictures, go for a date as those teenagers, be silly, be playful, have a good belly laugh, do something crazy, and create some fun memories. That is what life is about!
Happy Valentine’s day!
Jana Morton, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Jana Morton is a conscious relationship / conscious uncoupling coach, trained and mentored by the relationship expert Katherine Woodward Thomas, M.A., MFT and holds a Brain-based professional coach certification.
She collaborates with Hakkini ‒ a virtual well-being platform that caters to individual mental and emotional needs in the Middle East and beyond and L.E.A. Growing people ‒ HR consulting, training, mentoring, and coaching organization.
Jana is an empath with deep listening skills, strong intuition, and a genuine interest in people’s love stories and relationship struggles. She is passionate about helping her clients overcome their challenges and limiting beliefs so they can transform their relationships and live and love with more ease and joy.
Jana was struggling with unhealthy dynamics inside her own marriage. That is how she found Katherine Woodward Thomas’s methodology, which completely changed her life. She was able to liberate herself from a victimized perspective and transform into a self-actualized and self-responsible woman and partner. She now helps others to understand the mostly unconsciously created toxic dynamics in their relationships and guides them towards ones that are happy, healthy, and thriving.
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