Written by: Natalie Johnston, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Success doesn’t bring happiness, but instead, happiness brings success. Understand what makes you truly happy, find your path, follow it fearlessly, and take aligned action that leads to effortless success.
Breakthroughs. We are all trying to break through in some form or another. Whether it be a goal we want to achieve, a destination we want to reach, or a vision that we want to make a reality, we live in a society that is addicted to ‘achieving’ and ‘success.’ But what does success truly look like?
Success is happiness
I believe that success is happiness. Success isn’t a flash car, a new handbag, or designer shoes. Success is waking up happy and grateful every single day. Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that having a vision or life goals is wrong. I believe having goals and milestones are necessary for your growth and the evolution of our society. The problems start when we become fixated and attached to the outcome, as if our happiness, value, and worth depend on it. That’s when goals become unhealthy. How many times have you heard of business owners working to the point of burnout to achieve success? Perhaps you’ve experienced an uphill struggle, pushing for years to get that promotion or to find your perfect match and get married, only to realise when you achieve your goals, you still aren't happy or fulfilled.
Why do you want it?
First, you need to ask yourself, why do I want this? Why do I want to reach this goal or milestone? Is it because it will be a great status symbol, it will give you kudos and signify to the world that you’re a successful individual, resulting in people thinking more highly of you (or so you hope)? Is it because it’s what society expects of you and therefore if you don’t have it you are somehow ‘less than’? Or is it because your heart and soul truly desire it? Most of the time, we don’t have an answer to the ‘Why do I want it?’ question. That’s because many of our goals come from society's conditioning and programming. We are told what we want and it becomes expected of us. We are told we want to go to university, settle down, get married, buy a big house, drive a nice car, climb the corporate ladder, have kids, and retire at 65. It may be that you do genuinely want some or all of these things and that it is your soul's desire, but it may also be the case that you don’t. And if you don’t want these things, it doesn't make you a less ‘successful’ individual. But of course, you need to truly know and believe that.
Where does the problem lie?
Many of us wholeheartedly believe the higher we climb, the bigger the house, the faster the car, or when we’ve ticked off all society's boxes, that we’ll become the happiest version of ourselves. This is the problem. Happiness is not a destination. Happiness is right now. Many of us spend years chasing breakthroughs, achievements, and what we deem success. The problem with chasing it is that you're implying that you don’t already have it. If you’re not happy in the present moment, then there’s no amount of cars, promotions, weddings, or homes that will make you happy. Success doesn't bring happiness, but instead, happiness brings success.
Ask yourself, what do I really want?
The questions you need to find the answers to are: What are my real goals? What am I trying to achieve? and why do I want it? When you figure out the answers to these questions, it will be because your soul desires it and you will feel the difference. It will light you up, it will feel like pure joy, and you’ll feel energised and excited about moving forward, you won’t be looking for happiness in the future or outside of yourself because you’ll be happy now, in the present. When you remove external constructs, influence, or validation from the equation and understand what YOU want and what makes YOU happy, you will start to take aligned action. It will be fun. Of course, there will be challenges that aid your growth along the way, but no resistance. When you see your goals and the future version of yourself, your actions start to mirror that, and by proxy, you attract your goals effortlessly. We don't need to spend years and years pushing hard, forcing things to the point of exhaustion, or at the expense of our mental health. Instead, we need to take a step back and understand what floats our boat, that way, we at least know that we’re heading in the right direction. In the meantime, it's always important to appreciate where you are in the present. There is always something to be grateful for.
So how do I find the right path?
Time for a little blue sky thinking. If life had no confines what would you do? Let’s imagine the conversation for a moment.
You may say to me:
“Well Natalie, I would like to win the lottery and live on a beach.”
“Okay great, what makes that important to you? What would it mean for you to live on a beach with lottery winnings?”
“Sunshine and no money worries of course.”
“What makes sunshine and no money worries important to you?”
“I just want the freedom to do what I want when I want.”
“Okay, so I hear freedom is important to you. What makes freedom important?”
“It's a craving I have. I just want to be free. I want to live life on my terms.”
"Where in your life do you not feel free? Where are you not living on your terms?"
“Well I hate my job, it's rubbish but it pays the bills.”
“If you were living life on your terms what would you do for work?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never really thought about it.”
“What do you enjoy?”
“I enjoy painting and art.”
“How present is that in your life right now?
“Well, I don't have time, I’m busy with work and my friends.”
Anyway. You get the picture; we’ve gone from wanting to win the lottery to understanding what you’re instead craving is freedom. Art lights you up, but you aren’t doing it. You’re blocking yourself. You’re not focusing your time and energy on the things that excite you. You make excuses and instead continue to spend your time and energy in a direction you don’t enjoy. This is the crux of it and this is why life feels hard for so many. We are pushing in the wrong direction. A different direction from what our soul truly desires. When your soul loves doing something, it doesn't feel hard, you feel in flow, you may well say to me, “Well there is no money to be made in art” “How would I pay my bills?” and then I would ask you “Do you know that to be true?” “Where does that belief come from?” Yes of course there will be challenges for your growth, and it takes courage to follow these nudges, to go against the grain of our hard-coded societal beliefs, but when you’re following your passion, there is no resistance. Your soul always knows the way.
You just need to head in the right direction
You can achieve your goals without burnout, without constantly chasing ‘success’. You just need to know that you're going in the right direction,
How do you know which direction to go in? Well, only you truly know the answer to that.
Create the time and space to deeply connect with yourself and understand what you want and why you want it. A coach is a perfect partner to aid you in this discovery. But you can also start this work on your own too. Whether it’s through journaling, asking yourself reflective questions, or taking the time in the day to meditate and listen to your thoughts. You just have to find your north star and then fearlessly follow it.
It’s only then that you’ll break through without burnout.
If this resonates or you have questions, feel free to get in touch with us on any of the following platforms.
Follow TTM Coaching on Instagram, Linkedin, and TikTok, or visit our website. Or you can find me, Natalie on Instagram, LinkedIn, and TikTok.
Natalie Johnston, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Natalie Johnston is Founder of TTM Coaching. Natalie is an accredited coach, BA graduate, speaker and experienced marketeer. She has spent her working career in Scotland, North America, and London. TTM Coaching was born from her belief that we can all become the best version of ourselves and when we do the work on the inside, the impact is felt on the outside, creating the ‘ripple effect’ of positive change. Fuelled by her desire to ensure the workplace, of which we rely on to meet so many of our physical and psychological human needs, is a place where individuals can grow and thrive. Natalie dedicates her time to working with individuals and organisations to unlock their full potential.
