Written by LaShawna Epps, Christian Mindset Coach
LaShawna Epps, Founder of A BeYOUtiful Life℠ LLC, empowers women to break free from mindset limitations, increase self-awareness, and cultivate sustainable stress management practices through coaching, workshops, live events, and more, enabling them to transform to live fulfilling lives by embracing their true worth as CEOs of their destinies.
Feeling unfulfilled is a universal experience, one that connects us all. It's a shared journey, a common thread that ties us together. But dwelling in that sense of lack doesn't have to be the norm. You're not meant to carry this burden indefinitely.
The impact of living outside your true purpose
When you're not living out your true purpose, frustration sets in and creates an emptiness. And where there's emptiness, our minds and bodies strive to fill it, often with things that don't satisfy. This unfulfillment breeds a multitude of emotions—frustration, disappointment, anger, resentment, boredom, and a persistent feeling that something's off. It leads to questioning your choices, your goals, the very path you're on, or you may even ask, “Why am I here?”
Recognizing misalignment in your life
Misalignment can stem from various factors, such as fear of failure, societal expectations, or pressure to conform to others' standards. Perhaps you're not aligning yourself with your authentic calling or surrounding yourself with the right people.
You might find yourself in a career that doesn't inspire you or in relationships that drain your energy. Maybe you're undervaluing your gifts because they're not being utilized where they truly belong, leaving you feeling underappreciated and disconnected from your true potential, manifesting a constant uneasiness, a nagging sense that there’s more out there for you.
You might also experience this as a persistent dissatisfaction with your daily routine or a sense of restlessness that keeps you from feeling content. It's the feeling that, despite your achievements and external successes, something crucial is missing leading to a lack of motivation, diminished self-esteem, and a reluctance to pursue new opportunities, further perpetuating the cycle of unfulfillment. Through self-awareness, you can recognize and address this misalignment, which is essential for moving towards a life that genuinely reflects who you are and what you are meant to do.
The persistent feeling of something missing
This void and sense of uneasiness and lack aren't easily dismissed. It nags at you, whispering that there's a piece of the puzzle you've yet to find. This feeling can be subtle at first, a quiet discontent that grows louder over time, making it impossible to ignore. It often manifests as an internal dialogue, questioning whether you're truly living the life you're meant to live or merely going through the motions.
While gratitude is very important, it's okay to acknowledge that you're still searching for that missing piece, even amidst the blessings you have. This acknowledgment doesn't mean you're ungrateful; rather, it signifies a deeper awareness of your potential and a desire for more meaningful experiences. It could be a longing for a career that resonates with your passions, relationships that nurture your spirit, or personal growth that challenges and fulfills you.
You might feel guilty for wanting more when you already have so much, but it's essential to realize that this longing is a natural part of your human experience. It's a call to explore new possibilities, to delve deeper into what truly makes you happy, and to align your life more closely with your authentic self. Accepting this feeling and exploring it can lead to significant personal growth. It can push you to re-evaluate your goals, seek out new opportunities, and make changes that bring you closer to a life that feels complete.
Recognizing this persistent feeling as a guide rather than a burden can transform your journey, helping you to navigate toward a more fulfilling and authentic existence.
The pitfalls of coping mechanisms
Unfulfillment often leads to coping mechanisms—buying things, seeking validation from others, or even trying to rescue people. But these actions only perpetuate the cycle of discontent, pulling you further from your true path.
Retail therapy, for example, might provide a temporary thrill or distraction, but it doesn't address the underlying issues causing your dissatisfaction. The rush of acquiring new possessions quickly fades, leaving you once again feeling empty and searching for the next purchase to recreate that fleeting sense of happiness.
You might find yourself constantly looking for approval and praise from friends, family, colleagues, or social media, hoping their recognition will make you feel more valued and fulfilled. However, this external validation is often short-lived and can lead to an unhealthy dependence on others' opinions. It can also cause you to lose sight of your own needs and desires, as you prioritize what others think over what truly matters to you.
Playing the role of a savior is yet another way to cope with feelings of unfulfillment. While helping others is inherently positive, doing so as a means to distract from your own issues can be detrimental. It can lead to burnout and resentment, especially if your efforts are not reciprocated or appreciated. Additionally, this behavior can prevent you from addressing your own challenges and growth, as you become more focused on solving other people's problems instead of your own.
Breaking free from these coping mechanisms requires a shift in focus. It involves turning inward, practicing self-awareness, and committing to personal growth. By understanding and addressing the underlying causes of your unfulfillment, you can begin to make meaningful changes that align with your authentic self and true purpose. This, in turn, leads to lasting fulfillment and a deeper sense of satisfaction in your life.
When you can recognize these signs, it is a good step toward reclaiming your fulfillment. Embrace your desires, align your actions with your soul's calling, and refuse to settle for a life that falls short of your true potential.
Moving beyond gratitude to true fulfillment
Gratitude is a powerful tool that helps us appreciate what we have, enhances our well-being, and provides a sense of contentment, but it alone does not lead to true fulfillment. This is where self-awareness comes into play, bridging the gap between appreciating what we have and achieving a deeper sense of purpose and satisfaction.
Self-awareness involves a profound understanding of our inner selves—our values, desires, strengths, and weaknesses. It requires us to look beyond surface-level gratitude and delve into what truly drives and fulfills us. By being self-aware, we can identify areas of our lives that may not align with our true selves, despite our gratitude for them. This insight allows us to make more meaningful changes that contribute to our overall fulfillment.
For example, you might be grateful for your job and lifestyle but still feel dissatisfied.
Self-awareness helps you identify why this is happening, perhaps because the job doesn't use your talents or align with your values. Understanding these gaps allows you to seek paths that resonate with your authentic self.
Combining gratitude with self-awareness lets us appreciate the present while actively creating a future that reflects our true passions. This approach moves us from simple contentment to dynamic, purpose-driven fulfillment.
In essence, gratitude and self-awareness together empower us to pursue what truly fulfills us. Together, they empower us to move beyond mere contentment to achieve a profound and lasting sense of fulfillment.
So, how can you move forward from here?
1. Embrace your authentic calling aka purpose
Websters defines purpose as: the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists. I personally believe that a job or career is something that you choose to do, and a calling or purpose is what God created you to do.
Not only does your purpose give meaning to your existence, but it compels you to make aligned decisions, take action, strive toward specific goals, and live your life with more clarity embodying and embracing every day as you move towards a clearly defined future.
Purpose isn't just about passion; it's about utilizing your God-given talents to bless others. When you understand what your gifts are, you can employ them to make an impact.
When you operate within your gifts, true fulfillment follows. Shopping or indulging in other coping mechanisms won't be necessary when you're aligned with your purpose. With a clear purpose, you believe in the significance of your existence and experience a profound sense of productivity as you move toward your life goals.
2. Align with your core values
Identify what truly matters to you and shape your life around those values. Integrity, authenticity, relatability, and connection should drive your actions and decisions. The more you live according to your core values, the more fulfilled you'll become, effortlessly aligning with your purpose.
Integrity means consistently acting according to your moral and ethical principles, even when it's challenging. Authenticity involves being true to yourself, avoiding pretenses, and not conforming to others' expectations. Relatability and connection emphasize the importance of genuine interactions and building meaningful relationships.
Living by these core values ensures that your daily activities reflect your true self. When you honor these values, you naturally align with your purpose, finding joy and fulfillment in what you do. This alignment reduces internal conflict and promotes a sense of peace and satisfaction, as you're no longer living a life dictated by external pressures or societal expectations.
By deeply understanding and prioritizing your core values, you lay the foundation for a purposeful and fulfilled life. This approach allows you to navigate challenges with a clear sense of direction and maintain focus on what truly brings you happiness and meaning.
3. Journal and envision your ideal day
If you are unsure of your purpose, journaling can play a vital role and be an essential tool in the journey to discover your purpose.
Writing in a journal helps you articulate your thoughts and emotions, providing a clearer understanding of your inner world. It can also identify patterns by revealing recurring themes, passions, and interests that point toward your true purpose.
Journaling also acts as a powerful tool for self-discovery and personal growth. It helps you explore your inner self, set and achieve goals, stay mindful, uncover your authentic desires, and build confidence. Through consistent journaling, you can gain valuable insights and clarity about your purpose, guiding you towards a more fulfilling and purposeful life.
As you spend time journaling, you should clearly define what your perfect day looks like from morning to night. By understanding what you want and desire, you can intentionally work and move towards it. As you align your actions with your ideal day and embrace your purpose, fulfillment naturally follows. This process eliminates the back-and-forth of unfulfillment, allowing you to accept where you are and embrace your journey of becoming. Remember, your life is a journey of evolution and growth, and by embracing your calling and purpose, you'll see continuous improvements and blessings unfold.
Unlock your true potential by starting a new journey today
Are you feeling stuck, unfulfilled, or out of alignment with your true purpose? It's time to take charge of your life and unlock your full potential. Whether you're seeking personal growth to gain clarity on your purpose, build self-awareness and confidence, or overcome stress and overwhelm, one-on-one coaching is an option to experience true fulfillment and sustainable success. If you’re looking to inspire your team or audience with an impactful presentation or workshop to share strategies, motivate, inspire, and ignite a fire within provoking them to take action which produces a forward course of action in their lives, I'm here to help! If you’re ready to transform your life, contact me today to schedule a session or book an event! I specialize in transformations not transactions! Blessings!
Read more from LaShawna Epps
LaShawna Epps, Christian Mindset Coach
LaShawna Epps, CEO of A BeYOUtiful Life℠ LLC, is a highly-rated mindset coach and speaker, who boldly transitioned from corporate after 24 years to fulfill her calling: aiding high-achieving, ambitious women, trapped in cycles of constant stress, overwhelm, and self-doubt. Her mission is to guide them to authentic fulfillment and profound transformation through mindset rewiring, enhancing self-awareness, and aligning with their divine purpose. She also collaborates with groups and organizations, advocating for the importance of mental, physical, and emotional health in combating stress holistically through diverse platforms such as speaking events, coaching, workshops, and more, igniting change while inspiring others to live purposefully.
