Jodie, the founder of Flourish Wellbeing, specialises in women's health and matrescence, offering global coaching to empower mothers through their transformative journey.
For many mums, taking time for themselves can feel like a luxury rather than a necessity, often accompanied by overwhelming guilt. But self-care isn’t selfish; it’s essential for mums who want to be the best selves for their families. In this article, we’ll unpack the common causes of "mum guilt" and offer practical, empowering steps for embracing self-care without guilt, even through busy seasons like the holidays.
Why do mums feel guilty about self-care?
Mum's guilt around self-care is pervasive, stemming from deep-seated beliefs and societal expectations. Many mums are taught to be "selfless" and prioritize their families' needs, feeling guilty if they take time for themselves. This sense of guilt can be heightened by cultural norms, social media comparisons, and even family dynamics that reinforce the idea that a "good mum" is always available and self-sacrificing.
Reframing self-care as essential, not selfish
The truth is that self-care is far from selfish. It’s about creating balance and sustainability, allowing mums to show up fully for their families and themselves. Shifting the mindset from “luxury” to “necessity” can empower mothers to view self-care as an essential part of their role rather than something to feel guilty about. During busier seasons, like the holidays, self-care becomes even more vital, helping mums manage stress and create a more joyful, connected family experience.
How to break the guilt cycle
Breaking the cycle of mum guilt involves small but powerful mindset shifts and actionable steps:
Challenge internal beliefs: Reflect on where these guilt-inducing beliefs come from. Are they rooted in societal expectations or personal values?
Set healthy boundaries: Self-care doesn’t have to mean grand gestures. Even setting aside 10-15 minutes daily for yourself can shift your energy and reduce stress.
Think of self-care as Part of the Bigger Picture: Taking care of yourself is an act of love for your family, too. When you feel balanced and supported, you can be more present and joyful with your loved ones.
Practical tips for guilt-free self-care
These simple self-care tips help mums prioritize themselves without feeling guilty:
Start small: Incorporate self-care in bite-sized moments throughout the day, like enjoying a cup of tea quietly, stepping outside for fresh air, or jotting down something you’re grateful for.
Rethink rest as a priority: Aim for a consistent bedtime routine, as rest can be one of the most restorative forms of self-care, especially when life feels busy.
Create one ritual: Choose one activity that brings you joy and make it a ritual. This could be a weekly walk, reading for 10 minutes before bed, or doing a short meditation. By making it a regular ritual, it becomes part of your life rather than an occasional indulgence.
The impact of self-care on family life
One of the most significant benefits of self-care is the positive ripple effect it has on family dynamics. Mums who take time for themselves often experience reduced stress, improved mental health, and greater resilience. This well-being extends to their family, creating a calm and joyful environment. Embracing self-care also models a healthy, balanced lifestyle for children, showing them that well-being is something worth prioritizing.
Ready to embrace guilt-free self-care?
Self-care isn’t a destination but a journey toward a more balanced, fulfilling life. Start with one small step this week and notice the difference it makes. If you’re ready to take this journey with support and accountability, I welcome you to join my Redefine You program, where we tackle mum guilt, prioritize self-care, redefine values and beliefs, and build resilience together. Learn more about Redefine You here.
Read more from Jodie Abraham
Jodie Abraham, Women's Health & Matrescence Coach
Jodie isn't just a Nutrition, Health, and Wellness Coach – she's a compassionate advocate for mothers. With certifications as a Mama Rising Facilitator, Motherhood Coach, and Women's Health and Hormone Coach, Jodie brings expertise and empathy to her practice. As a mother of two who has experienced postnatal depletion and depression herself, she intimately understands the challenges of motherhood, offering non-judgemental support and practical guidance to mothers on their transformative journeys. She deeply believes all mothers deserve to thrive and flourish in motherhood.
