Written by: Daphney Poyser, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
New year, New you? With the start of the year already under wraps, it can feel very enticing to take on new intentions for the relationships you currently have in your life–or even the ones you hope to cultivate. However, as with all resolutions, sometimes things are easier said than actually done.
1. Before you establish any hard and fast commitments, we suggest doing a light background search on the person or people you plan on welcoming into your life. It could be something as simple as a google search or even a more elaborate, standard background check. It’s a hard line to tow, and we never want to make others feel as if we are intruding on their privacy; however, when it comes to protecting your peace it can be helpful to assume your own best interest at first, before anyone else's.
2. Slow and steady wins the race, and while dating isn’t necessarily a competition, there should be something said about not rushing into new endeavors–regardless of how promising they seem. I always recommend that people start slow and really take the time to get to know someone. As they say, the first person out of the starting gates isn’t always the one to win the race.
3. Patience truly is a virtue, and as with all good behaviors, knowing how to practice positive restraint can lead to even higher rewards. The easiest way to keep your eagerness at bay? Establish a solid set of expectations about what you want early into your relationships, and stick close to them, not only with the other person but with yourself too. Sometimes the kindest thing you can do for yourself and your future partner is to show a little patience and constraint.
4. There should be something said for having a healthy amount of skepticism towards the new individuals you are welcoming into your life. As you grow older and more established into your life there are certain risks when it comes to creating new relationships, which the majority of us no longer feel comfortable taking–and rightfully so. Setting clear boundaries upfront helps to establish what lines can and can not be crossed in order to continue moving the relationship forward, at whatever pace is beneficial for both parties.
Daphney Poyser, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Daphney Poyser is the founder and CEO of Fern Connections, a LGBTQIA+ Matchmaking and Coaching company. After noticing a lack of diversity within the world of same-sex specific dating services, Poyser sought out to create her own company founded on the principles of greater gender, sexual, and romantic inclusivity. Fern Connections was started in 2020 and now has headquarters in Texas and Georgia; the company services individuals nationwide within the United States.
