Written by: Viviana Di Leo, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
Why you need to stop giving them the power over others. Since I started, my business self-worth has been a subject I have been drawn to.
So much information out there that you can get lost understanding. It is not self-esteem. It is not your confidence.
Many definitions talk about your self-worth allocated to your achievements or what you achieve in life, and I cannot disagree more.
This is why some people don’t value themselves and feel they are unworthy if they fail at something. Or make their worth proportional to their bank account or the number of clients.
Nothing farther from this.
“Self-worth is the opinion you have about yourself and the value you place on yourself.”
I like this definition a lot, but this other one below will help me point out what I have learned from working with my clients.
"Self-worth is the internal sense of being good enough and worthy of love and belonging from others."
Not feeling good enough or worthy of receiving is a common theme that clients bring up all the time in their sessions or groups. Many people feel like they are less than others and that they are inferior in some way. Changing that perception of yourself that you have internalized is an important step in your healing journey.
As you work towards leading your most meaningful life, you need to change the self-talk going on in your mind.
Have you gone on a date and heard “It’s not going to work out” or had a job interview and you were told, “This is not the place for you”? It is extremely easy to interpret these types of statements and situations by feeling like you did something wrong. You can start with a lot of negative self-talk about how you are not good enough, how you didn’t give it 100%, that you should have done this or not have done that.
These kinds of thoughts and interpretations of events give the power of your feelings and thoughts to other people. You hand over the meaning you have in your life and who you believe you are to them.
How can you stop doing this?
When you give a different meaning to the situation and reframe your thoughts, you can immediately change how you feel.
Instead of focusing on what has happened or what could have happened, focus on the present moment. Don’t dwell on how that date could have been the love of your life or how that job could have been the best one ever. Be grateful for the opportunities to come because those things didn’t work out.
You can shift the meaning you are giving events, and you will see a huge difference in how you feel inside.
Ask yourself who is telling you that you are not good enough.
It just might be you telling that to yourself. Be kinder to yourself! Set your standards.
Feelings of being unworthy often come when you compare yourself to others. There is an ever-present culture in society shouting about what we should be doing or could be doing. Social media is full of posts that can leave you feeling like you are not doing enough and that you are inferior.
Constantly comparing yourself to others also gives away the power of your thoughts and feelings. You are a unique individual; you are not like anybody else out there. In her book “100 Days to Brave”, Annie Downs reminds us that we are unique, and every one of us is not below or above anyone because we were made unique. We were made who we are.
Comparing yourself to someone else is not necessary. You are not a copy of others and what they need to be or do to have a happy, meaningful life.
Comparing yourself directs your focus outwards and towards others. Everyone makes decisions based on their own beliefs and stories about who they are.
Learn to focus on your internal beliefs, on what you think and feel about yourself.
“Where focus goes, energy flows,” —Tony Robbins.
Focusing on the negative directs your energy to the negative. You will spend all your time recycling thoughts from the past and beating yourself up over decisions you made or things you did before. Shift your focus from those negative feelings and stop thinking about what you do not have. Direct your focus and energy on what you want in the future.
Learn to stop giving focus and energy to negative emotions from your past.
Do not let your interpretations of your memories have power over your future.
If you are ready and willing to build your confidence and start a journey of self-discovery to heal and become an impactful leader, I am happy to help you with this.
Creating a tool kit that allows you to feel confident and fulfilled with your life is something I can help you with. I will be happy to help you initiate change and transform your life forever.
Viviana Di Leo, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Viviana Di Leo is a Certified Peacefulness & Fulfilment Coach. She helps women on their self-healing journey to live a more peaceful and fulfilled life. She's an Expert in Biodecoding & Emotions.
