Written by: Marissa Nicole Azucena, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
A life coach can team up with an individual to help identify their limits, expand their thinking, and work together to create a vision that fits the client’s ideal life. However, there’s no reason you can’t learn some of the tools and ways in which this can be done on your own. By creating a similar experience, it’s totally possible to identify where you are right now, how you’d like to see yourself move forward, and how you can achieve that ‒ becoming your own life coach.
To be your own life coach, you can ask yourself these three simple questions:
Where am I now?
Where do I want to be?
How do I get there?
Continue to read below for a step-by-step guide and tools on how to answer these questions and life coach yourself.
“Take the limits off of yourself. You will never rise higher than your thinking. Create a great vision for your life.” ‒ Joel Osteen
Where am I now?
Use the Wheel of Life. To pinpoint where you’re at and how you’re feeling at this moment, you can utilize a tool that’s known as the Wheel of Life. This tool helps you to check in and assess how you’re feeling about the different major areas in your life. To begin, draw a circle and divide it into 8 sections. The end result will look like a pizza with 8 slices. Label each of the “slices” with a life category. Examples of this could include:
Health
Finances
Career/Business
Relationships
Personal Development
Spirituality
Family
Fun and Enjoyment
You can also make it your own! If any areas in your life aren’t on this list that you’d like to add (or if there are any on here you’d like to take out), this is something you can absolutely do. Another option is instead of drawing a circle, you can simply create a list and rank things that way as well. After you’ve ranked everything, go through each category and rate it on a scale from zero to 10. Zero signifies you are extremely unsatisfied with that area of your life, while 10 means you are extremely satisfied. Once you’ve given each category a score, you now have a snapshot of where you’re at. From there, you can journal about why you scored each category the way that you did for more insight. You can also write what your ideal score would be for each. For example, did you rate health a five, but ideally you’d like for it to be at an eight? This will be a great first step in leading you to the next question, which is ‒ where do I want to be?
Where do I want to be?
First, find clarity. When thinking about where you want to go, what you want to change in your life, and what you want to achieve, one must have a clear picture of what it is they’re working towards. For example, instead of saying “I want to be financially successful,” create a clearer picture like “I want to be making exactly X amount of money per month.” Having clarity on what it is that you want, makes it that much easier to work towards it. If you’re having trouble finding clarity, you can use a tool like The Miracle Question.
To use the Miracle Question, begin by taking a few deep breaths to clear your mind and center yourself. Next, visualize the following scene in your mind: Imagine that it is nighttime, and you get into bed. You fall asleep, and when you wake up in the morning, you immediately realize that something is different… Your problem has been solved. What does this mean to you? What has been solved?
By using a tool like the Miracle Question, you can identify what in your life needs to change, and then you can create a clear vision of what you’d like to change it to.
Visualize. Sit down with yourself and vividly imagine your ideal life, goals, and achievements. Don’t just write down, “I am going to get that job I applied for”. Visualize what it will look like when you get the offer, how your workspace will look, and how you’ll feel going to work. You want all of your goals and aspirations to feel real when you’re in the process of identifying where you want to be.
Figure out your why. It’s important to go within and figure out why you are working towards these goals and life changes in the first place. Is it so you finally don’t need to live in a constant state of stress about money? Perhaps you want to improve close relationships so you have more peace in your living environment. What is your “why”?
How does it feel? When thinking about where you want to be, a good signifier that you’re on the right path and that your goals are aligned with your values and vision is that it feels positive both emotionally and even physically. When you’re creating a vision for where you want to go, you should feel excited, motivated, energized, and relieved. Signs that you are currently not where you want to be or that a certain path isn’t for you may be that whenever you think about certain situations it brings up stress, anxiety, anger, restlessness, or dread. You should also feel positive in a physical sense as well. When thinking about where you want to be, you should feel light, and perhaps even feel “butterflies in your stomach”. Signs that something isn’t aligning could be that there’s a heaviness in your chest, stomachache, or shortness of breath. Checking in with how your vision feels both emotionally and physically can be a great indicator of where you want to be.
How do I get there:
Identify what has been getting in the way of you making changes or achieving certain goals. What are your blocks and distractions? If you’re feeling stuck or lacking motivation for a certain goal or change in your life, there’s most likely something standing in your way that needs to be addressed before you’re able to move forward in a focused and energized manner. You can write out a list asking yourself things like “What are my fears? What’s holding me back? What are my current distractions?” For example, maybe you’re spending more time than you’d like on your phone throughout the day. If you were to reduce your screen time from 3 hours a day to 2 hours ‒ how could you now use that one hour of extra time you've freed up towards one of your goals? Having these insights about yourself is incredibly empowering and important before setting up action steps. It will also be helpful to stay aware of them once you do start working towards your goals.
Set up action steps. The next most important step is setting up action steps. This is where the real change happens. You know where you are and where you want to go ‒ now it’s just a matter of sitting down and writing out what exactly you need to do to get there. An example of an action step is something like waking up at 6 am every morning to go to the gym, which will ultimately get you to where you want to be in terms of your health. When setting up your action steps, you can use the SMART tool to help as well.
S = Specific. You want each action step that you set up to be well-defined and clear.
Measurable = You want specific ways to help measure your progress! For example, if you are setting up goals around weight gain or loss, one measurable goal would be “I am going to lose/gain 1 pound per week.”
Achievable = You want your goals to feel attainable and not impossible to achieve.
Realistic: Your action steps should feel within reach, realistic, and relevant!
Timely: Set up a clearly defined timeline, including a starting date and a target date. Example: I am going to become debt free in the next 8 months so that I can begin to save for a down payment on a house.
Another tool that can be used to help you set up your action steps is to use reverse engineering. With this exercise, what you do is start with the end goal in mind. To use this tool, you would begin by first creating a clear picture of where you want to be one year from now. To do this you can keep the major life categories in mind that you went over in the Wheel of Life. Then you can ask yourself ‒ to get to where I want to be in one year, what do I need to be doing in 6 months? 3 months? 1 month? 1 week? Today? With this tool, you are starting with your “final destination” in mind, and then working backward.
Creating accountability. The last step that can help you to achieve your goals is by setting up forms of accountability. To be accountable is to stick to what you said you would do. Sometimes, if we don’t set up forms of accountability, we don’t always get things done that we set out to. Here are some questions you can ask yourself to help set up some sources of accountability:
How will I remember to do the things I’ve set out to do?
What kind of reward system could I put in place for myself when I hit big milestones in my action steps?
Who might be an effective accountability partner for this task? Who is someone I want to tell about the plan I’ve created for myself, and what do I need from this person? For example, do I want an accountability partner that will text me every day asking if I’ve taken my vitamins?
These are a few tools that can be used to help you become your own life coach. By working through where you are, where you want to be, and how to get there you can begin to work towards the life you desire and deserve.
Marissa Nicole Azucena, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Marissa Azucena is a certified life coach and mindfulness and meditation teacher. She graduated from the University of San Francisco with a Bachelors in Psychology, and spent most of her time during undergrad doing research around the benefits of mindfulness and meditation. She currently runs her own business, Younique Coaching. She works with individuals on a one on one basis, offers group mindfulness and meditation classes, and also founded and is currently running a mindfulness and meditation program for a school in the California Bay Area. Her goal is to help others improve their lives through stress reduction techniques, life coaching, and positive psychology.
.jpg)