Lauren Coleman is a nutritionist and personal trainer who specialises in helping people stop yo-yo dieting, improve their relationship with food and become more confident in their body at the same time. She works with clients in person and online, and hosts a podcast called A Seat at The Table.
We all want to be healthy and feel the best we can in our bodies, right? But many of us struggle to find routines that work for us that we can stick to.
For example, we might sign up for an 8-week challenge or detox and buy all the supplements, start voraciously meal prepping each week and spend long hours in the gym.
Sure enough, we see results that continue to motivate us. We’re convinced that we’ve cracked the code for change that will last. After all, why wouldn’t we want to feel this amazing every single day?
But then, the bubble bursts when we get sick, injured or busy. Basically, ‘life happens’, and we can no longer squeeze in 15,000 steps per day and 4 hours of meal prepping on the weekend. We revert to the same habits and lifestyle we had in the first place, and we can’t seem to pick up where we left off.
Why is that?
The issue for most people isn’t about implementing healthy habits, it’s about sticking to them.
This is because they haven’t considered the necessary mindset shifts to overcome self-sabotaging behaviours and cultivate a more positive relationship with food and exercise, which is the secret to long-lasting habit change and sustainable results.
This article will outline how to set and stick to habits that help you feel healthy, that you’ll want to stick to for the rest of your life.
1. Set goals that light you up
A common reason why many people struggle with consistency is because they aren’t working towards anything they care about at a personal level.
Instead, we set goals around what we think we ‘should’ be trying to achieve. For example, we ‘should’ try to eat healthier, we ‘should’ try to exercise, and we ‘should’ try to lose weight. The reasons why we think we ‘should’ do these things are usually based on information that other people tell us.
Despite whether or not it’s good for us, it’s not enough just to know that we ‘should’ be doing something to get us to do it. ‘Knowing’ versus ‘doing’ are completely different things.
Sometimes only a serious confrontation with the undesirable consequences of that habit (like a health scare) will get people to change.
But you might not want to get to that point.
This is why goal setting is important, but most people aren’t doing it effectively.
When you set goals that align with your core values, finding consistency will become 10x easier. You will amaze yourself with the potential you can tap into when you can clearly see how your goals tie into the ideal version of you.
To do this, you need to get specific on what your core values are.
There are plenty of assessments you can use online, such as this one or you could try brainstorming 4-6 different words that summarise whatever is most important to you. Some common core values include family, purpose, creativity, wealth, well-being, love, beauty, etc.
Once you have your core values, you can visualise what an ideal version of you would look like –where you live most according to your values. Ask yourself, how does it feel to be this version of you? How does your life look? What are your hobbies and daily routines?
From there – we can set specific and measurable goals around what we would need to achieve or do consistently, that would indicate that we are on the right path towards becoming closer to this ideal version of us.
When our goals are aligned with whatever truly matters to us, taking the necessary steps to achieve them no longer feels like we are doing things we ‘should’ do because they become actions we genuinely want to do instead.
How to set goals that light you up
Complete a values assessment OR think of 4-6 core values that summarise whatever is most important to you.
Journal, or use a vision board or Pinterest board to visualise your ideal future self, the version of you who lives most aligned with your core values.
Choose 3-5 long-term goals (1-5 years +) that would fit your journey to become this ideal version of yourself.
Decide on the daily, weekly, monthly or quarterly tasks you would need to start doing to achieve these goals. Pick 3-5 to focus on at a time, and when you can add more things to focus on – add those.
2. Focus on the process, rather than the outcome
Most people give up on their health and fitness journey after they’ve achieved a goal or a deadline – because they were solely focused on achieving one thing, rather than developing habits they can maintain.
Some people follow rigid diets that make them feel hungry, cut out their favourite foods, and avoid social occasions so they reach their goals faster. But when the diet ends, they will head straight towards the foods they have been missing out on – consuming them in large amounts.
The issue these people have is focusing too much on achieving an outcome, rather than finding a process that feels enjoyable and sustainable.
We can make the process more enjoyable by finding ways to attach ‘rewards’ to the habits we are trying to implement.
In the book ‘Atomic Habits’, habit change expert James Clear explains that when the brain senses that something enjoyable will follow the task you are about to do, you will feel more inclined to complete that task.
You can do this by making a healthy habit more ‘fun’ – for example attending a group fitness class with friends and meeting for coffee afterwards, or by playing your favourite music while you meal prep. You could also reward yourself for taking positive action, such as treating yourself to a massage or buying some new workout clothes after you’ve completed a certain number of workouts.
Even the simple process of ‘ticking off’ completed habits can be rewarding in itself. There are downloadable spreadsheet templates you can purchase from Etsy, for example, this one, that are customisable to your goals. Otherwise, you can use an old-school notebook, or download an app that lets you do this. Either way, it is a good idea to track and celebrate your consistency, which will encourage you to be more consistent!
We also want to make the process sustainable, which we can do by establishing a ‘minimum effective dose’ to achieve each week. This means thinking about what is the least amount of effort that you could do to still see some progress in the direction you want to move towards.
James Clear explains that even if your targets feel ‘too’ easy, the sense of achievement from completing small tasks will encourage us to keep positive momentum going, and will add up to big results over time. Of course, we can always add in additional targets as we prove our ability to be consistent with smaller ones.
In contrast, if we are trying to be too ambitious with the targets we set for ourselves each week, it can be disheartening when week upon week we fail to complete them. We are more likely to give up, throw in the towel and revert back to old habits when it seems impossible to try to do anything else.
So, to be more consistent, we have to focus on the process rather than the outcome, which requires figuring out how to make the process more easy and more enjoyable, as opposed to doing something that’s completely different to what we’re used to.
How to fall in love with the process
Find ways to incentivise yourself to do things that you are less motivated to do
Think about how you could tailor your current routines in the slightest ways to support your goals better
Pay attention to how the process makes you feel. Allow yourself to be guided by actions that make you feel better, not worse.
Celebrate consistency more than outcomes. Utilise apps, check-boxes and to-do lists to make sure you stick to what you said you would do.
3. Reframe negative thought patterns
One of the most common barriers to consistency is having a negative perception of ourselves and our actions.
We use negative language to describe ourselves, and often find ourselves catastrophising and thinking in black and white. This not only hinders progress, but is detrimental to
self-esteem.
For example, we tell ourselves that we’ve ‘failed’ or are ‘lazy’ when we become frustrated at our inability to ‘do the right thing’. We then seek evidence to support these statements by picking apart our appearance and labelling our actions as ‘good’ or ‘bad’.
You might notice that the days following a relapse on a diet are the days when you feel the worst about your body. You use statements such as ‘that was naughty’ to describe eating certain foods, and you either completely avoid mirrors and photos or obsess over them to scrutinise your appearance.
‘I’m so fat’
‘I look disgusting’
‘I have no self-control’
‘I’ve eaten so badly this week.’ ‘I’m so lazy’
… etc.
These negative thoughts prevent people from ever making lasting changes to their lifestyle and feeling good within their bodies, despite what many of us might assume.
This is because our actions follow the beliefs we have around our identity.
If you choose to identify as someone who enjoys exercise and eating healthy, you are less likely to show resistance towards those actions.
Conversely, if you identify as someone with ‘no willpower’ who ‘hates exercise’ – trying to take action will feel like an uphill battle.
If you want to maintain your habits, you have to become aware of the narrative your inner dialogue is forming around your identity.
Whenever you notice negative self-talk, such as harshly criticising your own body and shaming yourself for the actions you have taken (or haven’t), reframe those thoughts with self-compassion, using language that feels aligned with the identity you want to have (remember the first point about values?).
For example,
‘I am working towards improving my health because I respect and appreciate my body.’
‘I feel my best when I am in the routine of exercising regularly and cooking my own food.’
‘It’s ok if I ate too much today because it’s not going to have any significant effect on my progress.’
By using neutral statements (not labelling actions as good or bad), showing self-compassion, and being conscious about the language we use to identify ourselves (words have power!), we can shift our perception of ourselves which will result in more consistency with our actions.
How to reframe negative thinking patterns
Catch yourself in the act of thinking or speaking negatively about yourself. Try to reframe your thoughts as if you were speaking to a friend you cared about.
Practice journaling or speaking affirmation statements that reflect who you want to become.
Seek out beauty in daily life, as well as recognising beauty in yourself and others. Spend time in, and take photos of nature, admire people on the street, give people compliments, wear outfits that boost your confidence.
When a negative thought begins to escalate – ask yourself, what is this telling me that I really need right now? Hint, usually not as simple as ‘lose weight’ or ‘skip dinner’.
Conclusion
At the end of the day, whatever approach you choose to take in order to reach your goal doesn’t really matter, as long as it an approach you can be consistent with.
With weight loss in particular, since there is such a high percentage of weight-regain in the years following weight loss (roughly 90% of dieters regain any weight lost after a diet), we can conclude that it’s actually not losing weight that people struggle with, it’s being able to maintain our habits long term.
To be consistent, we need to start by setting goals that light us up, that we feel passionate and excited about working towards because they align with our values. From there, if we focus on process-oriented habit changes that are simple and enjoyable, we are far more likely to stay consistent. Lastly, we can bulletproof our success rate by becoming more aware of the negative thought patterns that hold us back, reframing those thoughts to shift our identity closer to the more ideal version of ourselves.
If you nail these three components of consistency, I can guarantee you’ll have a much higher likelihood of achieving your goals and potentially even more!
Read more from Lauren Coleman
Lauren Coleman, Nutritionist and Fitness Coach
Lauren Coleman is an expert in helping people overcome emotional eating, stop yo-yo dieting and re-wire their thought processes around health, nutrition, body image and exercise. She is passionate about debunking unhelpful advice about fitness and diet, making a healthy lifestyle accessible to everybody. She provides a pragmatic and science-based approach to habit change that embraces imperfect action and body appreciation – rather than perfectionism and body dissatisfaction. This results in meaningful transformation not only in how we eat, but how we feel about ourselves as well.
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