Written by: Thomas Goenczi, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
One of the things that usually pulsates in one’s mind with respect to the counselling process is if it’s going to be successful or not. It goes without saying that the majority of people when they decide to follow through with any venture have some yearning for success. Naturally, we all share the fundamental pull toward progress, wholeness and balance. However, success in itself is unique to the individual. In other words, what you qualify as success could be vastly different from the person right next to you. Success is typically grounded and related to a short-term or long-term goal. The goals you and your therapist set out for yourself are in essence the guide to your success, without one, success in counselling becomes much more difficult.
Collaborating with your counsellor on what you’d like your goals to be is an essential process in therapy. Attainment of short-term goals eventually organically folds into larger accomplishments. The two often weave into one another forming a sort of tapestry, which personifies the therapeutic process. As alluded to, the counsellor plays a significant role in guiding you to your success, there must be a trust-based rapport between the two of you. If there is mutual openness, compassion and willingness to confront what needs to be confronted, then success in the larger sense can often be had to some degree.
There are some characteristics when imbued and used in a genuine manner can open oneself to a potentially higher likelihood of success. I share these with trepidation because these should not be taken dogmatically or viewed as a strict recipe to be followed in order to attain success, but more so elements when used authentically can strengthen your capacity to achieve it in counselling.
The first element is intent. Focus and aim are paramount before embarking on any task and are essential for success. Intentionally aiming to accomplish something in counselling can vary significantly, examples include establishing better sleep hygiene, developing self-soothing techniques for anxiety, learning how to set better boundaries with family, or processing trauma. Intent means there is an activation of will. It invigorates motivation to achieve what one sets out to accomplish.
A second element is openness. Being able to express oneself freely, and allowing oneself to be vulnerable isn’t easy for most. We’ve all had experiences when we’ve opened up to someone sincerely wanting to be understood and having it fall short. It hurts. And, we either unceasingly dwell on it, suppress it, or repress it.
There are moments early on in counselling where one typically inhibits themselves with their counsellor, this manifests in little white lies by omission, circumventing topics, or shutting down completely through denial. However, this isn’t to downplay the need to inhibit at times in therapy, it’s vital to move at a pace that doesn’t become overwhelming. A tip though, is if you notice that you have constrained a thought, feeling, or body sensation, make note of it for yourself, and reflect on why you did so, and if you think it would be important to share later on.
A third and final trait for success in counselling is optimism. What often comes in the way of optimism is a fear of success and an inability to visualize a world that isn’t what it is currently. With success comes change, and a shedding of an older version of oneself. We are all aware of the human condition and its favourability to reside in who we currently are. However, optimism combats this in an effective manner. By having confidence that one can overcome the struggles they are facing, one embodies the potential to do so.
Are there instances of unsuccessful counselling? Of course, there is, and this is typically due to a mixture of not working well with the counsellor and an inability to confront the fears to allow success, amongst a variety of other conditions. It is important to note when success does inevitably occur in counselling, remaining steadfast and leading with a sense of humility is essential to not find yourself back where you started. Stay mindful, and understand that what goes up must come down…
Thomas Goenczi, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Thomas Goenczi, is a veteran of the Royal Canadian Navy, serving for seven years. After leaving the military Thomas pursued his Master of Counselling (Psychology). He now is a clinical counsellor providing his service through his private practice – Well Then Therapy. Thomas focuses on helping his clients and readers uncovering their unconscious roots of their mental struggles and reinfusing there lives with meaning. Thomas has recently reconnected with the military community with the mission of fostering an acceptance towards mental health. He is currently contributor to the Naval Newspaper. Lastly, he has a keen interest in psychoanalytic work, working with one's will, and psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy.
