Alisa Atroshchenko, a multilingual life and couples coach with 7+ years of experience, specializes in guiding diverse couples towards stronger connections using empathy and practical strategies, drawing from her international background.
Picture this: you’ve packed your bags, left behind the familiar sights and sounds of home, and embarked on a whirlwind journey to live in a new country with the person you love. Exciting? Absolutely. But let’s be real: moving for love can also be downright terrifying. The language, the customs, the food. It’s all different, and you’re expected to fit in like a local. Cue the butterflies, both in your stomach and your heart.
But here’s the kicker: adapting to your partner’s culture isn’t just about survival. It’s about thriving in this new world, deepening your connection, and making the adventure one for the books. Love may be the universal language, but it’s the respect and curiosity for your partner’s culture that will truly bring you closer. Whether you're learning how to greet the in-laws or mastering the art of eating with chopsticks.
Here's how to adapt with flair and fun while keeping the spark alive
1. Master the language (Or fake it ‘til you make it)
Nothing says "I'm committed" quite like trying to order coffee in a new language, especially when you accidentally ask for a "cat" instead of a "latte." Trust us, learning the local language (even just the basics) will win you brownie points with your partner and locals alike. Plus, it’ll make the little things, like asking for directions or flirting with your partner in public, way more fun.
Want a head start? Grab language apps, binge-watch local TV shows, or have your partner teach you hilarious phrases that will impress (or confuse) everyone. Sure, you’ll make mistakes, but that’s half the fun. Who knows? You might create an inside joke that will make your love story even more unique.
2. Cultural norms: Decode the secret playbook
Ever felt like you’re starring in a rom-com but forgot to read the script? Every culture has unspoken rules, from how to greet people to when it’s okay to be fashionably late (or not). To avoid feeling like a fish out of water, take notes on how people act, whether it's cheek-kissing greetings or navigating strict punctuality.
Pro tip: Let your partner be your cultural translator. Whether it's attending family dinners or learning how to survive a full-on community festival, they’ll help you blend in without losing your cool.
3. Foodie heaven: Taste your way to cultural bliss
If there’s one thing that unites us all, it’s food. And what better way to dive into your new culture than through your taste buds? Try cooking local dishes with your partner, raid the local markets, and say yes to every food adventure even if it looks a little weird at first. Bonus: your partner will love that you’re embracing their culture’s flavors and traditions.
Don’t be shy about hosting a mini feast of your own culture’s delicacies either! Sharing your culinary traditions will not only make you feel more at home but will also add spice to your relationship.
4. Family matters: Navigating the in-law maze
Every family is different, and when you move to a new country, those differences can feel magnified. Whether it’s dealing with a large extended family or learning the cultural hierarchy of respect, understanding your partner’s family dynamics is crucial. Show interest, ask questions, and when in doubt, let your partner guide you. Showing respect goes a long way.
And hey, if you end up becoming your partner’s grandma’s favorite, well, that’s a win for both of you!
5. New perspectives: Keep calm and stay curious
You’ll likely encounter customs or beliefs that seem strange at first. Maybe people stand a little too close, or perhaps they have a laid-back attitude about time that drives you crazy. Instead of feeling frustrated, let curiosity guide you. Ask questions and try to understand the "why" behind certain behaviors. After all, that’s how you grow and expand your worldview.
6. Talk, talk, talk: Open communication is your superpower
Adapting to a new culture can feel overwhelming, so keep those lines of communication wide open with your partner. If you’re feeling homesick or confused, share it. They’ve got your back and can help you navigate the quirks of their world. Plus, these heart-to-hearts will only strengthen your bond, making you an unbeatable cross-cultural power couple.
7. Find your own rhythm: Create a cross-cultural blend
It’s tempting to fully immerse yourself in your partner’s culture, but don’t lose sight of your own roots. Celebrate the parts of your culture that are special to you and share them with your partner. Creating a blend of both cultures will make your relationship richer and more balanced, allowing both of you to feel seen and cherished.
8. Patience is key (Seriously, go easy on yourself)
Don’t expect to feel like a local overnight. Culture shock is real, and so are the occasional feelings of homesickness. Be kind to yourself and celebrate the small wins, whether they involve successfully navigating the subway or holding your own in a conversation. Over time, it’ll all start to feel natural.
9. Build your own crew: Community is everything
While your partner is your anchor, building a broader support network is essential. Find local expat groups, attend language exchanges, or join community clubs. Surrounding yourself with both locals and other people in similar situations will give you the support and friendships you need to thrive.
10. Enjoy the journey: It’s an adventure after all
Adapting to a new culture is a journey, not a sprint. There will be highs and lows, but the beauty lies in the growth, learning, and deeper connection you’ll form with your partner. Embrace the adventure, stay curious, and know that you’re building something incredible together.
Love is the bridge, culture is the journey
Moving for love is no small feat, but it’s one of the most rewarding experiences you’ll ever have. By embracing your partner’s culture with an open heart, a dash of patience, and a whole lot of curiosity, you’ll not only adapt to your new life but also create an unshakable bond that crosses borders and cultures. After all, love may be the beginning, but cultural understanding is what makes the journey unforgettable.
Want help navigating this journey?
Feeling overwhelmed by cultural differences? Coaching can help guide you through the ups and downs of adapting to a new culture and strengthen your international relationship. Reach out today to start building resilience, understanding, and the skills needed for a successful cross-cultural love story!
Read more from Alisa Atroshchenko
Alisa Atroshchenko, Life and Relationships Coach
Alisa Atroshchenko, a life and couples coach with over 7 years of experience, specializes in fostering stronger connections and personal growth in relationships. Fluent in four languages— English, French, Russian and Spanish—her multicultural upbringing lends a deep understanding of global perspectives. Guiding couples through self-understanding and needs assessment, she facilitates transformative journeys towards understanding and harmony. With a mission to spread happiness through building stronger relationships, she draws from her international background spanning Russia, France, Switzerland, and Mexico. Her commitment to fostering understanding knows no bounds, offering support and guidance worldwide.
