Esther Janssen is a certified Tantra massage therapist specialising in healing women's trauma. Her own experiences of emotional abuse during childhood, as well as sexual assaults and rape as an adult, led her to her calling as a healer through the process of overcoming her own traumas.
In the journey of womanhood, there are experiences that can shake us to our core, leaving invisible scars that profoundly impact our relationship with ourselves and others. One of the most deeply felt, yet often unspoken, consequences is the loss of libido–a disconnection from our own sensuality and desire. In this article, we will explore a gentle, non-conventional path to healing: therapeutic tantra massage.
Unlike traditional tantra practises often associated with sexuality, my approach uses elements of tantra in a completely non-sexual, therapeutic context. My unique method focuses more on reconnection, healing and rediscovering one’s inner strength after trauma. Whether you’ve experienced a traumatic event or are feeling heavy under the weight of life’s constant ups, downs and challenges, you’re in the right place. This gentle technique of unintentional touch through tantra massage provides a path back to yourself… your true self.
The silent impact of trauma on libido
Trauma, whether it stems from a single event or prolonged exposure, can make our bodies shut down, creating a disconnect between our physical selves and our emotional core. This disconnection often manifests as a loss of libido, a natural response as our bodies and minds seek to process and heal from challenging experiences. But in this process of self-protection, we may inadvertently lose touch with an essential part of ourselves.
For many women, this loss goes far beyond just a decrease in sexual desire. Feelings of shame, unworthiness or confusion can take root, whispering that we are somehow less than whole.
One of my clients (I’ll call her Alice) described her experience: “I felt like I was pushing my partner away, but I couldn’t stop myself. I’d get angry at him for wanting intimacy and then feel guilty for rejecting him. It was like I was watching myself destroy my relationship… but I couldn’t find the words to explain what was happening inside me.”
Another woman shared how she would lie awake at night, disappointed in her husband for not understanding, but also disappointed in herself for being unable to “just get over it”. The more she struggled to articulate her feelings, the more distant she and her husband became. It was a vicious cycle she couldn’t break.
These testimonials highlight the complex cycle many women find themselves in–pushing partners away, feeling disappointed and misunderstood, struggling to communicate, and ultimately deepening the disconnect. The cycle can seem impossible to break, making it feel insurmountable to reclaim our sense of self and sensuality.
Therapeutic tantra massage: A unique approach to healing
Contrary to popular belief and traditional practises, my different and unique approach to tantra massage isn’t about sensuality or pleasure in the conventional sense. Instead, I have adapted elements of tantra into a completely non-sexual therapeutic technique. My method offers a gentle, trauma-informed path to healing that can help women reconnect with their bodies and reclaim their innate strength and femininity.
This therapeutic tantra massage is specially designed for trauma recovery and healing. It creates a safe space for women to rediscover their bodies without any pressure, expectation or sexual connotation. The focus is entirely on healing, reconnection and empowerment.
As a trauma-informed practitioner, I’ve witnessed firsthand the transformative power of this adapted practice in helping women overcome the loss of libido caused by trauma. It offers a gentle, non-invasive way to rebuild a connection with oneself, addressing the root causes of disconnect rather than just the symptoms.
The power of unintentional touch
One of the key elements in my practice is the concept of “unintentional touch.” This isn’t about creating sexual arousal or eliciting a physical response. Instead, it’s about reintroducing touch as a safe, neutral experience.
Unintentional touch might be as simple as a light brush on the arm as you pass by someone or a gentle pat on the shoulder during a conversation. These small, everyday touches help rebuild comfort with physical contact without any sexual connotations. For women who have felt anxious or fearful around physical intimacy, this gradual, respectful approach can be deeply healing.
As one of my clients, Lisa, put it: “The idea of ‘unintentional touch’ was revolutionary for me. It helped me realise that not all touch had to be loaded with meaning or expectation. It was like learning a new language of physical connection, one that felt safe and comforting.”
Through practising unintentional touch, many women find they can slowly rebuild trust in their own bodies and the experience of touch. This forms a foundation for deeper healing and reconnection.
The ancient touch of tantra healing
My name is Esther Janssen, and I am a certified Tantric masseuse. For years, I have helped hundreds of women and couples reconnect, realign and rediscover their joy using this unique, non-sexual adaptation of ancient tantra principles.
While traditional tantra is an ancient art dating back centuries, I have reimagined its application for modern healing needs. My practice draws on tantra’s spiritual and energetic aspects, leaving behind the sexual elements to focus purely on healing and reconnection. This approach can be particularly powerful for those who feel they’ve lost touch with their inner selves, offering a way to reconnect not just with their bodies but with their whole being.
I am deeply grateful to be able to share this reimagined healing practice with you. I’m excited to guide you through your journey of this beautiful and transformative ritual, understanding that for many, this journey begins from a place of deep pain and disconnection…
My holistic approach to tantra massage
The power of my therapeutic tantra massage lies in its holistic approach. It doesn’t focus solely on physical sensations but incorporates meditation and energy work. This combination allows for a deep release of stored emotions, helping unlock blocked energy that may contribute to the loss of libido.
During a session, I use gentle, unintentional touch to guide my clients through a journey of self-discovery. This might involve light strokes or holding certain areas of the body. My goal is to create a sense of safety and trust, allowing the body to relax and release tension.
Cultivating self-love and acceptance
One of the most beautiful aspects of tantra massage is its emphasis on self-love and acceptance. Many women who have experienced trauma carry feelings of shame or unworthiness, believing their bodies have betrayed them or that they are somehow less than whole. My therapeutic approach encourages a loving, compassionate relationship with oneself, helping to dissolve these negative self-perceptions and pave the way for a renewed sense of self-worth.
Through this practice, women learn to appreciate their bodies for what they are: vessels of strength, resilience and beauty. This shift in perspective can be profoundly healing, allowing for a new relationship with oneself to blossom. For those who have struggled with diminished self-esteem or a sense of disconnection from their femininity, this renewed self-love can be transformative, rippling out to affect all areas of their lives.
Reawakening inner strength and vitality
As the layers of trauma begin peeling away, many women report a gradual reawakening of their feminine energy. This isn’t just about sexual desire; it’s about reconnecting with the full spectrum of sensations and emotions that make us feel alive and vibrant. It’s about reclaiming our power, joy and ability to experience pleasure in all its forms.
This reawakening can manifest in various ways. Some women find they become more in tune with their body’s natural rhythms, rediscovering a sense of flow they thought they’d lost forever. Others experience a renewed sense of creativity or intuition as if a blocked channel has suddenly been cleared. And yes, many do report a rekindling of their libido–but in a way that feels authentic and empowering rather than pressured or obligatory.
The journey of healing
It’s important to note that healing is a journey, not a destination. Each woman’s path of trauma recovery is unique; it requires patience, self-compassion and often professional support. Tantra massage can be a powerful tool in this journey, but it works best as part of a holistic approach to healing that may include therapy, mindfulness practises and other forms of self-care.
Throughout this process, honouring your own pace and boundaries is crucial. Healing doesn’t follow a linear path, and there may be ups and downs along the way. That’s perfectly normal and part of the process. For women who have felt pressured to “get better” or who have struggled with feelings of failure when healing doesn’t progress as quickly as they’d hoped, this permission to move at their own pace can be deeply liberating.
Embracing your path to reconnection
If you’re struggling with loss of libido due to trauma, know that you’re not alone. Your feelings are valid, and there is no shame in seeking help. The pain, frustration and sense of loss you’re experiencing are real, but they don’t have to be permanent. Tantra massage offers a path to reconnection and healing that honours your journey and your body’s wisdom. It’s a way to reclaim your sensuality on your own terms, in your own time.
Remember, the goal isn’t to “fix” anything–you’re not broken. Instead, think of this as a journey of rediscovery, of coming home to yourself. It’s about peeling away the layers that no longer serve you and reconnecting with your true essence. For women who have felt like strangers in their own skin, this return to self can be profoundly healing.
If you’re experiencing loss of libido due to trauma, I hope this article has encouraged you to consider taking the first step on your healing journey. To explore how tantra massage can help you reconnect with your feminine energy and overcome loss of libido, I invite you to reach out to me! Together, we can create a safe, supportive space for you to rediscover your innate sensuality and reclaim your power. Visit my website (link) to learn more about my trauma-informed tantra massage services and take the first step towards healing and self-love. If you’re looking for a way to begin your healing right now, you can download my free Meditation Guide here. There, you can also keep an eye out for my book, which is about to be released. It’s currently in the final phase of being reviewed by experts in various fields, such as psychotherapy, trauma therapy, and spirituality. I am still looking for a publisher who can help me release it both nationally and internationally. Until then… your journey to reconnection begins here, and I am so grateful to join you on this path.
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. The information provided herein is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have before undertaking any treatments.
Read more from Esther Janssen
Esther Janssen, Certified Tantric Trauma Healer for Women
Her own experiences of emotional abuse during childhood, as well as sexual assaults and rape as an adult, led her to her calling as a healer through the process of overcoming her own traumas. She has empowered hundreds of women from many countries on their journeys to self-love and healing. Her mission is to guide people through the process of healing women’s collective wounds.
