Danica Carson, creator of Hack Decks™, specializes in creating simple and effective ways to help others live their lives with less stress and more enjoyment. Focusing on pain points such as getting organized, becoming a mother, going off to college, and coming up with fresh ways to connect, Hack Decks™ provides a shortcut to a happier, easier life.
Do you suffer from “Someday Syndrome?” Many people do. It causes stagnation and keeps them from reaching their goals and dreams.
A story about my friend and her recipe file
I have a friend with a torn, over-stuffed manila folder in which she puts her “someday” recipes. She’s had them for years. I send her cookbooks every so often because I know she loves to cook. I’m not sure she’s even opened one, yet I continue to send them. Why? Because she is a great cook. On occasion, she tells me she’s made one of the recipes in her file but hangs on to a few special ones for “someday.” Yet, as the story goes, “Someday never comes.”
When I’m trying to figure out what to make for dinner, if I don’t have a Blue Apron delivery, or for a special occasion, I either go to one of my tried and true Ina Garten Barefoot Contessa recipes (which I love) or go online. I can always find something there. I can compare a few, see what ingredients I have on hand and which ones I’ll need, and call my husband to pick up the ingredients on his way home. He’s a champ!
So, why does my friend keep all the recipes in her folder and never make them? She thinks “someday” she’ll have friends over to dinner and make one, only to decide otherwise. They’re never quite right, or she’s unsure about the ingredients. I say, in that case, throw them away. If you don’t love what you’ve saved, need it, or use it, it’s clutter, plain and simple. My rule of thumb is if a recipe sits there, occupying space and doing nothing but fading, I say it’s time to let go.
Digging below the “someday syndrome” surface
Ask yourself the real question: why does my friend keep a pile of recipes she will never make? That’s the million-dollar question for any clutter we know we don’t want but keep. Most likely, she’s suffering from “Someday Syndrome” and having trouble letting go.
Here are some thoughts I have about her situation: She wishes her kids would move back to her small town so she can make them a plant-based dinner (they are vegan); she is trying to lose weight and thinks these recipes are a good place to start; she feels bad that she bought a Le Creuset Dutch Oven and wants to use it but it’s too heavy for her to lift; and by keeping these recipes, she can tell herself that she’s doing all these things without actually doing them. The logic: because these recipes are in the folder, she has the potential to make them. Someday. In the future. Like never.
Clutter and “someday syndrome”
The logic behind “Someday Syndrome” is the same logic we use to hang on to clothes that no longer fit. It reminds us of who we used to be, not who we are today. “Someday, I’ll be able to fit into that skirt,” but again, someday never comes. What we are doing is living an incongruent life, and this thought is making you feel bad about yourself. We are living in the past or in the future, and not today. And today is what counts since yesterday is gone, and tomorrow is never promised to us. You’re beating yourself up over nothing.
Ask yourself this question: If I let go of something I might need "someday,” and that day comes and I need it, what will I do? How will I confront that situation? Chances are, you’d get your hands on another one, whether you borrow or buy it. Amazon delivers quickly. It will be on your doorstep tomorrow.
While the answer “I might need this someday” seems simplistic, you send yourself a message that you’d be rendered helpless without the item you’re afraid to let go of. You’re telling yourself that you’re not capable of figuring out the best solution in a challenging situation, that you’re not resourceful enough to work through the circumstances.
Here’s another part of the question: If the item were something you didn’t necessarily use but loved at one time and you regret getting rid of it, would you forgive yourself? Are you so used to beating yourself up that you can’t possibly risk making the seemingly “wrong” decision?
“Just in case”
Some things you can keep in the “someday, just in case” pile. But not a lot. It speaks to your inner strength that you can “let go of the shore.” I don’t keep very much in my “just in case” pile because, frankly, it’s just clutter. And I have faith in myself. Read the Hopi Elders' Prophecy, June 8, 2000, for more inspiration.
Read your own energy and honor your needs
A handy tip is to pay attention to your own behavior when deciding what to keep and not the other way around. Like my friend’s recipe folder that she hangs on to for dear life, she forgets to pay attention to her own behavior. Her behavior suggests that she asks friends for recipes rather than pulling one out of her manila folder pile. The pile is just cluttered at this point. Why keep the recipes she never makes? It dilutes our self-esteem.
By keeping things you think you might need, you often make it harder on yourself. Instead, buying what you need when you need it frequently saves you time, money, and aggravation and prevents you from having many wasted things in your home.
The inner narrative
The next time you or a friend struggle with “Someday Syndrome,” consider the inner narrative playing in your (or their) mind. What story are you telling yourself? Trust yourself to manage things as they come instead of clinging to “someday” for dear life.
If you or someone you know is struggling with “Someday Syndrome,” feel free to ask for help at The Uncluttered Life®. We have lots of tips and tricks for overcoming this life barrier.
Read more from Danica Carson
Danica Carson, Co-Owner and Creator of Hack Decks™
Danica Carson is the Co-Owner and Creator of Hack Decks™, a line of prompt cards designed to simplify life and reduce stress. Hack Decks™ is owned by The Uncluttered Life, Inc., a boutique organizing company based in Dallas-Fort Worth specializing in optimization, efficiency, and home function. The flagship product, Declutter Deck®, was created as an exclusive tool for clients to get and stay organized in all aspects of the home.
