Dr. Ariel McGrew is a distinguished business psychologist, licensed professional counselor, and founder of Tactful Disruption®. She leverages her extensive experience in psychological operations and her academic expertise to enhance organizational culture and leadership.
Let’s face it: life doesn’t always care about your plans. You can have your five-year goals laid out, vision boards ready, and affirmations on deck, but life? Life will throw curveballs that’ll knock you right off your feet. Literally. In my case, it was a fractured acetabulum and a broken ankle. Oh, and did I mention it happened while I was transitioning out of the Army after 15 years of service at the tail end of a PhD, raising my child as a single parent, and building a multi-state telehealth practice? Yeah, psychological flexibility wasn’t just a nice concept I read about in a book. It became my lifeline.
What is psychological flexibility, anyway?
Psychological flexibility is like mental yoga for your brain. It’s not about twisting yourself into knots but about learning to adapt, respond, and bounce back when life bends you out of shape. It’s the ability to accept what’s happening at the moment without getting stuck or paralyzed by it. In other words, it’s about making room for discomfort while still taking meaningful action toward what matters most to you.
Psychological flexibility is emerging as a key factor in promoting mental health, personal well-being, and adaptability in an ever-changing world. Rooted in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), it allows individuals to manage thoughts, emotions, and behaviors in ways that align with their values and long-term goals, even in the face of discomfort or uncertainty (Hayes et al., 2006).
Think of psychological flexibility as having two superpowers: accepting your thoughts and feelings without letting them control you, and taking steps toward your values, even when it’s hard. Sounds great, right? But how does it actually play out in real life? Let me walk you through six science-backed ways that psychological flexibility can transform your life—starting with the fact that it helped me put one foot in front of the other. Literally.
1. Reduces anxiety and depression
Picture this: You’re trying to juggle your job, raise a child, and manage a fractured pelvis. It feels like the walls are closing in, and you can’t catch a break. Now, throw anxiety into that mix. Fun times, right? Not so much.
Research shows that people who develop psychological flexibility experience fewer symptoms of anxiety and depression because they stop wrestling with their emotions (Baumeister et al., 2003). Instead of fighting negative thoughts, they learn to accept them without being defined by them (Bond et al., 2008). Psychological flexibility promotes personal growth by encouraging individuals to align their actions with their values, regardless of how difficult the circumstances may be. This can lead to deeper fulfillment and long-term resilience. When people are no longer trapped by their fears, anxieties, or rigid beliefs, they are free to grow, take risks, and pursue meaningful life goals.
Take it from me: If I had fought every anxious thought while transitioning out of the Army and trying to recover from injury, I’d still be stuck, spiraling in fear. Psychological flexibility allowed me to accept the discomfort—both physical and emotional—while still taking small steps toward my goals.
2. Boosts emotional resilience
We all know someone who seems to bounce back from life’s hardest hits. What’s their secret? You guessed it: psychological flexibility. Studies have shown that this adaptability is key to emotional resilience. It helps you navigate life’s biggest stressors—whether it’s a career shift, a family issue, or a fractured body—without crumbling under pressure (Hayes et al., 2012).
For me, learning to walk again after my injury wasn’t just about physical strength; it was about mental flexibility. Rebuilding my life after leaving the Army was less about being “tough” and more about learning to pivot, adapt, and keep moving, even when every step was painful. Bouncing back isn’t about brute force—it’s about flexibility.
3. Improves relationship satisfaction
Let’s talk about relationships. Whether it’s with your partner, family, or friends, relationships are like a tango—without flexibility, you’re going to step on toes. The research backs this up: Couples and families who practice psychological flexibility have healthier, more satisfying relationships. A comprehensive meta-analysis examined the correlates of psychological flexibility in romantic and family relationships (Daks & Rogge, 2020). The findings indicated that greater flexibility in emotional regulation, acceptance of a partner’s flaws, and the ability to pivot in conversations during conflict lead to higher relationship satisfaction. Why? Because they’ve learned to accept each other’s quirks and flaws without judgment.
As a single parent, I can tell you this skill extends far beyond romantic relationships. Learning to be flexible with my child and accepting that I can’t control every aspect of our lives has been a game-changer. I can’t tell you how many gray hairs I’ve avoided by practicing flexibility in family dynamics. Seriously, try it—it’ll save you some stress (and maybe even a few wrinkles).
4. Enhances job performance and career growth
Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt like a failure at work. (Don’t worry, my hand is up too.) Whether you’re managing a team, trying to impress your boss, or building your own business from the ground up, flexibility makes a world of difference.
A 2008 study by Bond and colleagues demonstrated that redesigning work tasks to encourage psychological flexibility improved employees' performance and reduced stress levels. Employees who are able to adapt to new challenges without becoming overwhelmed or rigid in their thinking are more likely to thrive in dynamic and high-pressure environments. Their study found that people with greater psychological flexibility perform better at work, adapt to changes more easily, and experience less job-related stress (Bond et al., 2008).
For entrepreneurs like me, it’s not just about rolling with the punches—it’s about innovating, solving problems, and growing in ways that rigid thinking won’t allow. After my injury and career transition, psychological flexibility allowed me to turn what felt like a dead end into an opportunity. I was able to launch a thriving multi-state telehealth practice while facilitating as an adjunct professor at Pepperdine University and raising my child solo. Flexibility wasn’t just a perk—it was my survival.
5. Helps manage chronic pain and physical health
Here’s where it gets personal. When I fractured my acetabulum (aka the bone that holds your hip socket together), the pain was no joke. But what I learned through my recovery is that psychological flexibility isn’t just about mental health—it can even help manage physical pain.
Studies show that accepting pain rather than battling it leads to reduced emotional distress and a better quality of life (McCracken, 2024). This was my reality: Once I stopped fighting the pain and started accepting it, I found that I could focus more on healing and less on the discomfort. Psychological flexibility doesn’t mean ignoring pain—it means making room for it while still taking steps toward what matters. For me, that was getting back to my life, my practice, and my family.
6. Promotes personal growth and fulfillment
At its core, psychological flexibility is about living according to your values, despite the challenges. It helps you stay focused on what really matters, rather than getting distracted by setbacks or temporary discomfort. Research shows that people who practice psychological flexibility are more likely to experience personal growth, fulfillment, and long-term happiness (Hayes et al., 2006).
For me, this meant sticking to my goals as a business owner and single parent, even when the odds were against me. Whether it’s expanding my telehealth practice, graduating with global distinction, discharging with honor, teaching students, or helping others build resilience, psychological flexibility has kept me grounded in my purpose.
Conclusion: It’s time to get flexible
Life is messy, unpredictable, and sometimes downright painful. But if I’ve learned anything from my journey—from serving in the Army to recovering from physical injuries to raising a child while building a business—it’s that the key to thriving isn’t about being unbreakable. It’s about being flexible.
Psychological flexibility is scientifically proven to help reduce anxiety, boost resilience, improve relationships, enhance job performance, and even manage pain. Whether you're bouncing back from injury, navigating career shifts, or just trying to maintain your sanity, staying mentally flexible will help you rise above it all.
So, the next time life throws you a curveball, remember it’s not about dodging it—it’s about bending without breaking.
Read more from Dr. Ariel McGrew
Dr. Ariel McGrew, Business Psychologist, Chief Creative Officer
Dr. Ariel McGrew is a highly regarded business psychologist and founder of Tactful Disruption®. With over 15 years of experience in U.S. Army Psychological Operations, she has honed her expertise in leadership and organizational dynamics. Dr. McGrew holds a PhD in Business Psychology, is a licensed professional counselor, and has been featured in Forbes Coaches Council and HRM Outlook Magazine. Her work focuses on enhancing mental health and professional development within organizations.
References:
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Bond, F. W., & Bunce, D. (2003). The role of acceptance and job control in mental health, job satisfaction, and work performance. Journal of Applied Psychology, 88(6), 1057-1067.
Bond, F. W., Flaxman, P. E., & Bunce, D. (2008). Work redesign: Reducing stress and enhancing psychological flexibility in the workplace. Journal of Applied Psychology, 93(3), 645–654.
Brown, K. W., & Ryan, R. M. (2003). The benefits of being present: Mindfulness and its role in psychological well-being. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(4), 822-848.
Daks, J. S., & Rogge, R. D. (2020). Examining the correlates of psychological flexibility in romantic relationship and family dynamics: A meta-analysis. Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science, 18, 77–91.
Hayes, S. C., Luoma, J. B., Bond, F. W., Masuda, A., & Lillis, J. (2006). Acceptance and commitment therapy: Model, processes and outcomes. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 44(1), 1–25.
Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (2012). Acceptance and commitment therapy: The process and practice of mindful change (2nd ed.). Guilford Press
McCracken, L. M., & Morley, S. (2014). The psychological flexibility model: a basis for integration and progress in psychological approaches to chronic pain management. The journal of pain, 15(3), 221–234.
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