Written by: Jackie Woodside, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
The internet is overflowing with blogs, vlogs, websites, masterclasses, digital downloads, and online communities committed to getting you to change!
But what if you don’t want to change? What if you’re really, super, over-the-top committed to staying precisely the way you are for as long as you possibly can?
Well, worry no more. I’ve been a therapist and coach for the past 30 years. I’ve done my time “in the chair,” listening to hundreds of thousands of hours of human beings lamenting about changes they want to make in their lives.
And still… many (most?) of them (uh, and me too, if truth be told!) go through all kinds of shenanigans resisting the exact change they declare they so passionately seek. What’s up with that?
So, I thought I would save you the time and money of working with a therapist or coach, and I would take some time to fully articulate for you Seven Sure-Fire Ways to Stay the Same!
Here you are:
1. Resist anything new. If you’re committed to staying the same, it is imperative that you stay in your lane. Do not travel. Don’t change jobs. Do not engage in a new sport or hobby. Heck, you might even want to stave off dating or meeting new people altogether (Tinder optional since there’s no plan for relationships anyway).
2. Be sure that you already know. This air of self-assurance and disinterest in other people’s perceptions and thoughts is essential to your plan to stay the same. Be sure you know. Know what? Oh, that doesn’t matter. No matter the topic, especially if it is one in which someone is trying to engage you in something new. Nope. Have nothing of it! Why? Because you know that it won’t help, won’t be interesting, won’t be worth your time anyway.
3. And equally as certain that others do not. You can be confident that since you know [fill in the blank regarding your topic of choice here], you can also ooze confidence that others simply do not. They may have interesting opinions, backed up by their own life experience and maybe even scientific data. Does. Not. Matter. Don’t cave. They don’t know what they’re talking about. Well-intended, yes. Knowledgeable, not a chance.
4. Let FEAR be your driver. All these gurus trying to tell you to overcome your fears, to “feel the fear and do it anyway.” What total and complete B.S. Keep your fear intact. Hold it close to the chest. Stave off all these courage-seekers and self-help hooligans. Fear. Keeps. You. Safe. Don’t mess with it.
5. And CYNICISM be your guide. A proven tactic to keep others at bay when they suggest you should “do something to better yourself” is to wrap yourself in the most lurid cynicism you can find. Douse yourself in a gallon of skepticism. Accuse them of satisfying their own needs and manipulating you toward their goals. I mean, seriously, how long will even the most committed evangelist-of-growth-and-change hang around in the face of dyed-in-the-wool cynicism?
6. Be steadfastly unwilling to invest time or money in yourself and your growth. You work hard for your money, and goodness knows you don’t have nearly enough free time. Don’t go throwing your hard-earned cash away so some other schmuck can earn a living? What are they thinking anyway? No, thank you very much. Keep your money in your pocket and spend your time watching reruns of FBI: Most Wanted until your heart’s content.
7. Do as little as possible. Go to work, earn a living, pay the bills, and leave it at that. Who needs gym memberships or exotic trips to strange new lands? Why bother eating healthier or learning to meditate when it all takes time, money, and most of all, concerted effort! Yeah, no. I’m good. Thanks. I’m going to stay exactly as I am.
8. But keep REALLY BUSY. At the same time, if you really want those self-help hipsters to leave you alone, make sure you look busy, so they stay off your back. You don’t have to actually DO STUFF. You can make it look like you’re doing stuff. Talk about doing stuff. Hell, you can even post images on social media that shows you’re doing stuff. Just be sure you don’t actually do anything. Just. Look. Busy.
9. And when all else fails, BLAME SOMEONE ELSE for the way life is! When all is said and done, if you have resisted the cultural tidal wave of self-improvement and growth, but you’re still not happy and living your dream life, just blame someone else for the way your life is. Take no responsibility whatsoever. It’s “their” fault (whoever “they” may be!). It’s not on you. You’re fine just the way you are, because… Well, go back to number one on this list and repeat.
There you have it! Nine sure-fire ways to stay the same and avoid the hard work of creating yourself and your life into the image of what you imagine it could be!
If you’re inspired by this list, feel free to share it with the other curmudgeons in your life who are equally committed to staying the same. And if maybe, by some slight chance, you see a little too much of yourself in this parody, and you’re inspired to think differently about your life, I’m just a quick email away. Because, you know, I’m really committed to people living the life of their dreams, even when it’s hard to change.
Jackie Woodside, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Jackie Woodside, CPC, MSW, is a best-selling author, TEDx speaker, radio and television personality, and trainer passionate about expanding the edge of human potential. Jackie has written three best-selling books and over 30 different training programs. She was featured along with Jack Canfield and Don Miguel Ruiz on the Wake-Up! TV series. She is the Founder of the Curriculum for Conscious Living and the Conscious Living and Money Vibe Summits.
Jackie provides custom training programs or keynote speeches for organizations such as Blue Cross Blue Shield, Bayer Corporation, the Air Force National Guard, The National Association of Social Workers, Gallaudet University, and the Massachusetts Executive Office of Health and Human Services. Jackie is committed to raising consciousness on the planet, creating a world that works for everyone.
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