Written by: Ian Robinson, Executive Contributor
Executive Contributors at Brainz Magazine are handpicked and invited to contribute because of their knowledge and valuable insight within their area of expertise.
I was in my mid twenties and kind of lost in life really, I had recently come out as being a gay man (which was a massive step for me) and I was just at a point where I was really existing. I had already been diagnosed as having depression and anxiety. I had also developed panic attacks too, and was having issues with my skin and various breakouts of rashes, eczema and dermatitis.
I was in a fairly heavy dark place of just wanting to find some light, I had revealed my sexuality but something just wasn't sitting right with me, it's like one of my pieces were missing. Before my diagnosis I actually thought everyone felt the same as me, and I often questioned, why isn't anyone else having these issues? Everyone seems to be coping. I guess maybe my friends thought I was coping too? It just shows how little we really know about ourselves and others, a smile can hide so much.
Then one day I saw a post on social media about mental health and depression and realised, that is just how I feel! Finally seeing something in my physical reality showed me something I could put the dots together with to understand what was going on internally, what I was feeling and why.
It was then quite randomly out of the blue a friend of my brother rang me up and wanted to meet up for a get to know each other event. We knew of each other already but it was more as an acquaintance than anything. Over time we built a long term friendship, where he started to learn of my mental health, the medication I had been prescribed, and my daily struggles that my mind seemed to enjoy projecting onto me. It wasn't long before he asked me if I had ever thought of meditation? I remember this day as if it was yesterday, however its twenty years later!
I had always been quite a spiritual person in life, and had been on many a ghost hunt or the odd paranormal walk, and watching ghost shows on the TV so I was aware of this side of things. However I had never ever thought of the concept of meditating or sitting quietly to calm the mind, and actually performing a spiritual act. I mean I was in my twenties, I went out and followed the crowd of what everyone else did. That was just the norm right? However subconsciously I knew I didn't enjoy it, I was just following the crowd and not being who I am.
So we started meditating, a concept which seems to be growing by the year for most people these days, which is a really positive thing indeed! There I sat, eyes closed, listening to some gentle music, following my breath, focussing as intently as I could on my breath and my being. It was at this point, I realised that my monkey mind had stopped. There was nothing, just peace, gentle music and my breathing... Wow! There was on occasion times where I would just drift off due to sheer exhaustion physically and mentally, however I know now that's just what I needed at that time. This was the beginning of my journey of meditation and self healing.
From that day onwards I started to build a regular daily meditation ritual, where I would do the same thing, gentle music, close the eyes, breathe, and relax. That was it, in words it sounds so simple, however in reality it takes time, discipline and practise to build up. I was managing to meditate for around 3 to 5 minutes in the early stages, and I jut wanted this feeling of peace to last. Many talk of this process now as rewiring the brain into a more positive harmonious state, which is what it is and much more. You enter various states within the mind body connection which promotes deep healing.
The days, weeks and months passed, before long a year had passed, and I was very confidently meditating for around an hour most days, it became my daily go to, my ritual. I likened it very much the same as having a shower in the morning or drinking that first cup of coffee. If I didn't meditate, my whole day seemed heavier, slow and sticky. It was after meditating for some time that I had the realisation to leave my place of work in a supermarket due to negative people, managers, and just the job itself. Again, another 'random' occurrence, my job was up for redundancy, how convenient! Maybe this was my way out of here. These events that seem to be 'random' are what I perceive as actually spirit working with you to help you. I have had many more of these random events happen over the years, which give me evidence to believe just that. Whether you believe it, that's totally up to you, as we are all entitled to our own ideas and beliefs.
As time passed I kept up with my meditation practise, and still do to this day. However I find twenty minute to half an hour is enough for me now. There are some days where I struggle to actually meditate, however I am in a much more harmonious place within myself, where I just let that go. Which is a whole other part of the process. Learning to let go. I will talk more about this in another article. However for now I just wanted to share with you my meditation journey, and how it really did save my life, and change my life for the better!
If meditation is something you are considering, I am now a meditation coach and teacher, and have developed many wonderful ways of enhancing your meditation process, to calm the mind easily and flow into a wonder place of peace within. Check out my profile for details of my website and social media links. I also give free guided meditations on my YouTube channel called 'Ian Robinson Reiki Zen' so do check these out if you feel called to.
Just remember, the first step is always the hardest, however its the smallest steps that make the biggest difference.
Follow me on Facebook, Instagram, and visit my website for more info!
Ian Robinson, Executive Contributor Brainz Magazine
Ian has been working in the field of energy healing and holistic health due to his own battles with mental health struggles and addiction. Ian struggled for many years with his health, mental and physical, due to depression, anxiety and panic attacks. Then one day everything changed after discovering meditation, which altered Ian's perception on life ten fold.
